Lost...help :)

Hi everyone!

I stumbled across britishexpats.com, and they directed me over here.

I have a sticky situation...I am married, but separated, with a daughter. I am wanting to move to England (business reasons, and best friend there), but my current hubby would never agree to the move. I have consulted with an attorney here who said I could move to England now, while still married, and there really isn't much hubby could do about it. Once we're divorced, however, I'm legally obligated to stay in the state I'm in, and have to have written permission from ex to move. like that's going to happen 

The lawyer said hubby would have to file to have me brought back to the states to go to court for the custody, at which time I would have to return. She also said I could get my citizenship in the UK and then file for divorce from there as a Brit citizen. Does this sound whacked? Or, has anyone had any experiences like this?

For the record...I'm not trying to "run" with my daughter. I had planned on offering her dad 4 months for summer and 2 extra weeks during the school year for visitation, which is actually more days than he's getting now.

Thanks for the help!

Does this lawyer know anything about immigration law?  Doesn't sound like it!

As a US citizen, you would have to live in the UK for 3 years by way of marriage and 5 years under any other method in order to obtain citizenship.  The "any other method" could be that you've entered with a Work Permit, which must be obtained by the company who wants to hire you.

So when you say "business reasons," what exactly does that mean?  Do you have someone willing to secure a work permit for you?  Do you qualify under the HSMP (Highly Skilled Migrant Programme)?

You could apply for a student visa.  Or if you are already a student in the US or have been very recently and are under 26 (I think?), you could look into BUNAC.

I know it seems like I'm tossing a lot of things at you at once, but we kind of need a little more detail on the way you plan to move to the UK.  You can't simply pick up and move.

And that's the first thing the lawyer should have told you! 

Besides, moving to the UK now whilst still married could be considered desertion, and taking your child would not happen in any circumstance without permission from your husband.  Otherwise it'd be kidnapping - yes, even though she is your own child.

I don't think your lawyer knows much about divorce laws over here either I'm sorry to say.  You don't have to be a citizen to file for divorce here (ie England and Wales, Scotland has its own legal system, might be different there), you just have to be living here. However, I can tell you from experience it is a pain in the neck getting divorced here unless you have been separated for a minimum of 2 years and are in mutual agreement about the divorce. Otherwise you are looking at proving unreasonable behaviour or adultery on the part of your husband. if he contests it, it could go on forever.  To get a divorce quicker than 2 years most couples come to some agreement about the "unreasonable behaviour grounds" so that might work if you ex is in agreement about that.

As for taking your child out of the country without your husband's permission that is up to you but I wouldn't think it a veyr good idea. If your ex goes for custody later that might be held against you.

Sorry to be pouring cold water on your plans but it is important you get this right or it could lead to worse problems later on.

Good luck with everything.

And I wanted to add that because of the school year here, your daughter would not be able to go back to the US for 4 months during the summer.  The summer break here is more like 6 weeks, I think.  There are more breaks throughout the year than in the US, though.

I don't think your lawyer knows much about divorce laws over here either I'm sorry to say.  You don't have to be a citizen to file for divorce here (ie England and Wales, Scotland has its own legal system, might be different there), you just have to be living here. However, I can tell you from experience it is a pain in the neck getting divorced here unless you have been separated for a minimum of 2 years and are in mutual agreement about the divorce. Otherwise you are looking at proving unreasonable behaviour or adultery on the part of your husband. if he contests it, it could go on forever.  To get a divorce quicker than 2 years most couples come to some agreement about the "unreasonable behaviour grounds" so that might work if you ex is in agreement about that.

As for taking your child out of the country without your husband's permission that is up to you but I wouldn't think it a veyr good idea. If your ex goes for custody later that might be held against you.

Sorry to be pouring cold water on your plans but it is important you get this right or it could lead to worse problems later on.

Good luck with everything.

Sorry, have to jump in here: unreasonable behaviour does NOT have to be agreed between the parties in order for it to be a grounds for divorce.  Neither does adultery (although adultery is a bit harder to prove.  One cannot simply say they believe their spouse is having an affair). 

If someone files for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, the Respondent does not have to admit or agree to the behaviour, only has to assert whether he/she intends to defend against the allegations.  More often than not, a solicitor will advise it best to not defend because it would only drag out the process and seek to raise costs. 

As for taking the child, the lawyer you consulted didn't seem to mention the Hague Convention which states that jurisdiction will lie in the child's home country. 

Elle is right, but you would need to know before you set out whether your ex would contest or not otherwise you could end up battling for god knows how long - and he's more likely to NOT contest if you can mutually agree what the unreasonable behaviour is, that's all I meant.   

Wow...thanks for all the great input! Not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to.

Looks like I'm going to be in for either a legal battle or a lot of travel back and forth...Okay, so does anyone know about work visas? I understand (if I'm right) that I cannot stay longer than 6 months at a time on a work visa. I have my own internet business which can be run from any computer in the world, so it's not like I'm going to bucking the English system for hand-outs or employment.

Thanks again!

Wow...thanks for all the great input! Not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to.

Looks like I'm going to be in for either a legal battle or a lot of travel back and forth...Okay, so does anyone know about work visas? I understand (if I'm right) that I cannot stay longer than 6 months at a time on a work visa. I have my own internet business which can be run from any computer in the world, so it's not like I'm going to bucking the English system for hand-outs or employment.

Thanks again!

It's a visitor's visa that doesn't allow you to stay for more than 6 months at a time. 

I hate adding something else that could be bad news, but as far as I understand it,, to work in UK on a work visa, you can't apply for it, but a potential employer has to. This would mean that working for yourself out of your home would not qualify you for a work visa. Is this correct (asking the experts)? Maybe this is why you were thinking that 6 months was the max? Because you would have to be here on a visitor visa which is for 6 months? I hope it all gets sorted for you Vixie

Tebs is right.  An employer has to want to hire you (but you can't come here looking for work on a visitors visa) and they then have to prove that no one else in the whole European Union can do the job you do.  It ain't an easy visa to get!

I would advise you to go to the sticky topic at the top of this Visa board and look at the links provided there and find out more about whether or not moving to the UK is even a possiblity for you before you get too worked up about the custody/divorce issues. 

But you've come to the right place for help, so if you really want to do this, I'm sure you'll find a way.