any help enduring the distance

I buy phone cards off of www.onesuite.com and get a 2.5 cent per minute rate with no connection or maintenance fees.  I think it's the best deal around and it's almost always a very good connection.  Once in a while I have to call back to get a better line, but hey I have to do that with US calls sometimes (my uni has a crap phone provider).  Anyhoo...I've been using them for well over a year now and am still yet to find any hidden charges or ripoffs in it.   I would highly recommend it...I can call my fiance in the UK for much cheaper than I can even speak to my family in the US.

(RE: 1010987)
Does that work?  I had heard some really bad things about that, like people being charged for calls they didn't even make.  I was always afraid after that.

Sorry for straying from the original topic

Yes, it absolutely works!  I was soooo thankful when it was introduced.  My monthly bills went from around $400  (impossible on a teacher's salary!) to about $60 a month!  Now my family uses it to call us.  Try it a time or two and check out your bill--I'm sure you'll love it!    

I used 1010987 as well and found it saved me money too.  If you decide to try it do it for a trial period say a month.  Write down your calls and check them against your bill.  Best way to convince yourself it works.  Although Krissy's idea seems even better.  Good for you, you found a great deal Krissy.

hi folks the advice is great, i started writting a diary, so that i can show her when we meet next i liked that idea.  AS for telephoning folks in the UK I have telewest international which an extra £3 per month but allows calls to USA for 2p per min.  I am sure that somes days its hard and other days it's great. Do you get nerves just before you are about to see your partner again?

I have AT&Ts international calling plan. $39.95 per month for unlimited calling to residences and a discounted rate for cell calls.

See:

http://www.consumer.att.com/global/english/international/int_unlimited.html

Robert I tell you what.  The first visit I wasn't scared at all.  I had every reason to be scared.  But I wasn't.  But when I first saw him standing there.  At the airport with what looked like thousands of other people.  My head said YES.  Then I realized I was more nervous than I thought.  Each visit (6 total) there was no nervousness.  Just the anticipation of seeing this man I love more than any other come thru those doors.  Or waiting for me to come thru those doors.  For me the time to be nervous came with the physical side.  Each time it felt like we were starting the relationship over.  I would see Chris every 4 to 6 months and for about 2 weeks at a time.   But each time after the first day we were back on track. 

Robert you haven't said much about your relationship.  Such as how many times you've met so far.  Or how long you've been together.  But I would say to trust in your feeling for her and hers for you.  If there is to be any awkwardness it will probably go after you bump noses when you kiss for the first time and you both laugh over it.  Humor goes a long way to smooth over those moments of do we hug or kiss or just hurry to get out of the airport!  Best of luck to you Robert.

Hi Robert...(and a belated welcome to the board!)

I've put off replying to this one, (though I have been reading every new post for inspiration and support) because some days I think I am going to go crazy with the coping part myself! One day I am positive and fine, the next it is a struggle to keep my spirits up.  Actually, that is how I cope...taking each day at a time. When I am down, I try to immerse myself in other activities. That isn't too hard with all my children etc., I am pretty busy. Yet, that is a double-edged sword too...because I find myself wishing he were sharing the happy times with us. For example, yesterday my twins and I went for a short hike. It was a gorgeous day (23C, blue skies, gentle breeze) and as soon as we entered the woods we saw a small snake on the trail. The last time my fiance was here, the four of us hiked another trail and as soon as we started out we also saw  a snake...which he picked up and the boys loved watching it wiggle and touching it etc. Well, Caleb was like, " If Dimitri was here he would pick it up, how come you won't pick it up?" etc...and it is just a small thing, butt I missed him so much and couldn't help feeling like experiences are so much "more" when we share them with him and some how part of it was missing.  (Especially all the "sheep hunting" expeditions he took the twins on during our last UK visit.) So I was missing him horribly and then the wind lightly blew a tendril of my hair across my neck (had my hair up) and the sensation was so much like what I've experienced with him when he bends down and gently kisses my neck from behind, that I knew part of him (the "real" him) is always with me. That is what I need to remind myself to cling to...all of us have the ability to communicate on a "higher level" with our loved ones...I have experienced this with Dimitri over and over as we share our experiences at the end of the day and find out that we have mirrored eachother's moods or had the same thoughts etc.

Endure, endure, endure...every day is one day closer to physical togetherness!

And don't view this time apart as a total waste...the phone calls, emails, letters, ethereal outpourings...these are all tools that are helping you two to communicate on a level that is often overlooked when a physical relationship is available right from the beginning. I have been married and divorced, and from this perspective it is easier for me to see that a strong, underlying relationship is what makes a physical relationship more fulfilling and joyful!

So good luck...and vent whenever you need! I find this a safe place to get my feelings out, and also find it helpful to read about other poster's fears and frustrations...it is good to know there are others going through the same experience!

Take care, geally

Robert,
I agree with everyone else, the calls and emails and constant communication is key. I tell my boyfriend to text me when he travels for work, just so I know he arrived safely wherever it is he is jetting off to...it really is the small stuff. When I get a text that just says "I love you", well it just about makes my heart melt.
And we know each other so well. We tend to have bad days, but we help each other through them. J was having a bad few days, and I knew something was wrong, I just gave him a bit of time, and he opened up to me...Luckily, we both haven't had a bad day at the same time!
All I can say is that it is easy somedays, hard others, but if you are in love it is worth it. I sometimes think this is the hardest thing to endure, but I force myself to think of the alternative, which would be living without him completely, which is soooo NOT an option... :\\\'( I would be too sad.

the bad news is folks today she told me her heart belongs to someone else, i really hope she is happy, and she will still call me a friend

I'm so sorry to hear that Robert!   :\\\'( You seem like a great person!  She is missing out on you!

Smiles to you!

thanks stacy i just hope and pray that she will make it one day

Me too! 

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  My heart goes out to you Robert. :\\\'(

I am very sorry to hear this Robert...  she does not know what she is missing with a guy that seems as genuine and nice as you do...  her loss!

Robert,
I am sorry to hear your news...I am wishing the best for you in the future. I've been in your position before, and know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. Just know people on this site are pulling for you and thinking happy thoughts.