Things about the USA your UK spouse should know.

I realize that the drive thru ATM's can seem a bit lazy...but in some areas you have to be very careful about the walk up ATM's ..people have been mugged at the walk up ATM's.

In America we have expansive indoor malls if walking from shop to shop is a preference. These malls include restaurants and fast food outlets of many varieties. Cinnamon rolls, chinese food, italian, mexican, mcdonalds ...most all choices are located in the mall. Or, one can easily go to the tried and true Walmart, where one can get their nails done, grocery shop, toys for the kids, some DVD's/DVD player, pick up a new outfit, and some camping equipment, while waiting for their car's oil to be changed and tire rotation.

Experiences from my trip to the UK..it was far more simple to walk to a restaurant, the grocery store, or the local shops...they were all right outside the hotel door...not fifteen to twenty miles  (drive time) away as they are here.  And, I didn't worry so much about being knocked in the head with the blunt end of a handgun for my purse while walking down the street in the UK. I really appreciated that about the UK!

My fiance doesn't carry a wallet, and carry's his cash in his pocket...I had to beg him not to take out wads of cash in the store. And, he didn't believe me about not being able to go for walks..till he visited me here.

In America, the nearest McDonald's to my house is ten miles away. The nearest grocery store is about the same. And, walking wouldn't be a good option if it were only two miles away. Safety (in my case) would be a predominant concern with walking.

Sadly my area is also inhabited by drug addicts who are all to happy to monitor those who walk out the pharmacy doors to capture the latest goodies that could be in your prescription filled baggy...(sucks for them if it's only an antibiotic). Yet, drug addicts seeking their latest fix..aren't always one's to think first then act. Again, that's why I don't mind the drive thru's.

Then I think to...that I like the drive thru's because it keeps me from having to walk several miles in 110'F summertime heat to run two miles down road in heavy traffic (no sidewalk) to convenience store on my lunchbreak from work. I'd come back to work and my makeup would be dripping off...it almost does already just walking from the front door to the car.

If we had more of a mild climate like the UK...I'm sure walking (even short distances..if safe) would be easier. However, we have people who die of heat stroke just sitting in their homes every summer. And, the same can be said for the below freezing temps we get in the winter time.

In the UK things are more condensed, and the public transporation in my city is non-existant for the most part...at least (safe public transport). The nice public transport giving access to the city center makes traveling without driving a lot easier in the UK...(that is if you don't already live in the city). Even biking is a lot safer there, than it would be here in my town.

Good God... it sounds like you live in some sort of hell! 

I'm having fun looking at this list after over five years of living in London. Really, even now when I picture a light switch or a walk light, I just think of the way they are in the U.S. (I do this occasionally as I draw!). Here in London I just do stuff, but I always seem to be a bit slower.

The U.S. in contrast to the U.K. is wonderfully consistent for lightbulbs. I don't remember EVER going without a lightbulb just because it wasn't available at the nearest supermarket, and I didn't have to bring the bulb with me either! AMAZING!

When I lived in L.A. if I was hungry I could get into my car, drive for five minutes or for twenty if I was being more ambitious, and park my car in this tiny parking lot it would take a few turns to get into. I could get out, go to a burrito stand, pay the guy $3 or whatever, wait a couple of minutes, get my burrito and then go sit in the car and eat it with the radio playing. Sometimes I'd be really wild and eat it right in front of the burrito guy and chat with him or the other guys eating their burritos who didn't go back into their trucks...

All in all a terribly wonderful life. Eating burritos in cars! Who would ever do such a thing in London? Here when I'm hungry I eat a cold sandwich some guy at Tesco has made. And if I eat a burrito I have to sit down in some bloody restaurant with branding, fancy plastic and only three different burritos to choose from.

Yes, the thing to remember about America is CHOICE.... you could sit there for hours staring at a menu. Never happens here. It's usually what, a half a page?

Oh yes - and people judge you a lot more severely if you drink/and or smoke.

Excessive drinking in the US--yes I agree, but I think there is more judgment towards people who smoke in the UK. There are some landlords who won't even lease to people who smoke.

There are some landlords who won't even lease to people who smoke.

I think you'll find that's true of many places in the US as well.  It's really hard to get the odour of cigarette smoke out of walls and upholstery, so some landlords just refuse to rent to smokers. 

I think you'll find that's true of many places in the US as well.  It's really hard to get the odour of cigarette smoke out of walls and upholstery, so some landlords just refuse to rent to smokers. 

I'm not a smoker, but smokers can't catch a break these days.

I think you'll find that's true of many places in the US as well.  It's really hard to get the odour of cigarette smoke out of walls and upholstery, so some landlords just refuse to rent to smokers. 

The apartment complex I lived in in the US last year was non-smoking (part of the contract), yet the guy living below me insisted on lighting up almost every night . The vent in my apartment was right behind the sofa so I spent most evenings holding my nose while watching TV and trying not to breathe in the fumes that were wafting up through the vent  .

I think for my husband, it was finding out that in Texas, if something is described as "chicken fried" it doesn't always mean it's chicken.  That took him by surprise. Also, the amount of cultural diversity surprised him a great deal, since in the village where we live, there is no diversity. Well, I guess I count. 

I think for my husband, it was finding out that in Texas, if something is described as "chicken fried" it doesn't always mean it's chicken.  That took him by surprise. Also, the amount of cultural diversity surprised him a great deal, since in the village where we live, there is no diversity. Well, I guess I count. 

OOOHHH.  I wish I had known about all these thing before my husband came here in 1999!   

Yes.  There is a lot more diversity here than there was in my husband's tiny villiage or anywhere in most of Central Scotland, in my opinion.  I think he was shocked to see so many different people in Oklahoma.

The things I look back on after 10 years...I could write a book.  After having a UK spouse in the US here are some things, I personally reflect on...It may not apply to you and your spouse (My disclaimer).

Your UK spouse should not expect many days off from work in the US. 

Absences are greatly frowned upon.

Some people live for their jobs/careers.  Anyone who doesn't have that passion/drive is looked upon as someone who is not a "team player" even if they carry the bulk of the work load. 

Be expected to work even if you're injured or sick. 

Don't expect to be able to travel freely and frequently.

What you think looks like a 4 hour drive on a map is more like 12 hours.

Vacations are mostly nonexistent, unless you are on the job for many years and have earned vacation time.  Your employer won't like your taking 2 weeks at a time to visit family or for your family to visit you.

Don't ask for rubbers at walmart; you'll be directed to the pharmacy NOT the shoe department.  Plus, it's very embarrassing.

If you ask for tea; please specify HOT tea.  Otherwise, you'll be asked if you want sweetened or unsweetened ICED tea.

People think butter on sandwhiches is weird.

Don't expect to be able to eat a meal with mash and also chips. You get one or the other! 

Please don't order a steak well done and send it back till it's charred beyond recognition.  Learn to like it moist and not completely burnt.

If you ask for pudding, you get pudding. If you ask for chips you get crisps. If you ask for jelly you get jam, not Jello.

Please don't randomly add the "f" word in a conversation!  It's very rude here, and most people are still shocked from hearing it, especially if you go anywhere in the Midwest or South.

Learn to love diversity and minority groups.  You find that they have more in common with you than people of British heritage/European stock. 

Don't assume that anyone belongs to a particular ethnic background; we're all mixed to some extent.

People drive like maniacs here.  Keep profanities and both fingers to yourself, or else you'll incite road rage.

Get used to the potholes and huge gaping holes in bridges.  It doesn't get any better than this.

The news is 2 hours long.  Get used to stories about house fires and every minor incident that happens.

Don't insult American football; people live for it here.  They even mourn their team losing and go on endlessly about it on the news and radio.

Be prepared to have no conversation about any real, relevent current events. 

Don't call into a talk radio show unless you're prepared for the host to make a fool of your accent.

Americans are patriotic.  Don't be condescending about it; just let it be.  So what, everyone has a flag.

Americans share there opinions openly.  Don't offer yours unless they ask for it.  They don't care.  You are a foreigner.  Even if their grandparents are from your area, they are ingrained in everything American now...Don't push your luck.

Don't expect to make loads of friends here.  People hold each other at arm's length.

The only friends you make will probably be from somewhere in Britain.  Somehow all the things that would seperate you from being friends over there will bind you here.  Funny how Scots/Irish/English/Welsh all of a sudden make great pals even though in Britain they would find themselves being a little indifferent to each other.

People will not understand your jokes or your sense of humor.

People will ask you to speak English.  People will ask your US spouse how long it took them to teach you English.

They will ask you if there is a moon in your sky too.

Some people do not know where Great Britain is.  Many of them can't find their own hometown on a map of the US, so don't expect them to know anything about the rest of the world.

Some people in the US don't believe that the rest of the world has technology or electricity.  Be prepared for some really stupid questions.

Many Americans think they are the only ones with access to shopping malls, supermarkets, clothing, tvs and computers.  They will likely assume that you are in awe of the greatness that is America despite there being no unique cultural attractions or history in the area.

To most Americans, America is the best and everywhere else is worse, second-best.  They think they are the only ones with freedom.  They think everywhere else is a third world country.  It's no use trying to make them see otherwise.  Just nod your head and move on...

Don't discuss National Health with the doctor.  Socialized medicine is not in his best interest and he will vehemently debate against you despite spewing misinformation, which you know is untrue.

Don't expect to be in walking distance of a pub.

If you take a leisurely stroll along the sidewalk after 7 pm, a policeman may stop and ask you where you're going. 

There's no such thing as a "nip" down to the shops for a few items.

You can't just walk anywhere you want.

It gets extremely hot here compared to anywhere in Britain.  You can also find that you've never felt colder in your life in the winter.

If you are moving to the US permanently to start a family or have children.  Be prepared for your children to not understand somethings about your culture.  When they're little they'll say British things and pick up things from you, but in the long run they'll sound American. 

Sometimes people will be in awe of your accent or your country.  Sometimes they will ask you to say something again just so they can giggle.  It's not mean, usually. 

There are mean people here as there are there.  Be prepared, if you are here for any length of time, to face anti-foreign sentiment.  It happens.

Americans think they are responsible for the victories of every foreign war in the last century.  Don't let them make you feel bad by saying "We saved your butts..." and all that B.S.  Say something to shut them up, and go on...Most of its ignorance.  They will have no idea that you may have had a great uncle or someone that lived through the Blitzkrieg or died in battle...Sorry it may hurt your feelings.  I find it sad as well.

Some people find it humorous to say rude things about the Queen or any other member of the monarchy.  I don't know how to fix that one.  Again, ignorance and misunderstanding!

Well, there's my list.  There are several I can reflect on but this should tire your eyes for a bit.  So, anyone interested in bringing their bf/gf from the UK?  That should give you a little food for thought. 

Sorry if I repeated anything from the prior posts.

 

Wow! Fantastic post julie.bug!!! I wish I'd had that for my husband when we moved here. 

Wow Julie it sounds like your husband had a really hard time adjusting! Good thing he had you to help him!

LOL, juliebug, I think you hit the nail on the head, there. Especially down south. Texas and Oklahoma are neighbours, so I can certainly agree with all of those things about my hometown! Of course, the giant potholes are in the middle of some of the busiest parts of the city, which makes no sense. Your post would be especially accurate for east Texas and other more remote locations. Some of the city folk are a BIT more open-minded, but not many.

Wow! Fantastic post julie.bug!!! I wish I'd had that for my husband when we moved here. 

Sad thing is I've got more.  I wish I knew these things too.  Why couldn't we start a thread for all the young people attempting to get involved with a person from another country and sticky it?  For those of us who have been there, done that we know that it is quite possibly the hardest thing to do in life.  There are always differences.  No matter where you live, there is a relative who's emotionally hurt.  Then there's all the other challenges!

Wow Julie it sounds like your husband had a really hard time adjusting! Good thing he had you to help him!

Actually, he's the strong one.  This experience has changed us both, though, and after 10 years of marriage, we have truly learned to rely and believe in each other.  We are each other's support.

LOL, juliebug, I think you hit the nail on the head, there. Especially down south. Texas and Oklahoma are neighbours, so I can certainly agree with all of those things about my hometown! Of course, the giant potholes are in the middle of some of the busiest parts of the city, which makes no sense. Your post would be especially accurate for east Texas and other more remote locations. Some of the city folk are a BIT more open-minded, but not many.

We have found wealthy, en vogue city dwellers are some times as ignorant to the rest of the world as your average redneck, but a bit more open-minded perhaps.  But you're right, not many. We live in the country so in contrast to when we lived in the suburbs, some people in the rural areas are very receptive of him, believe it or not. 

I've got another one or two...How about several? These mainly pertain to my area, though.

Don't expect to get more than 3.2 beer at a bar (in my area) and there is such a thing as dry counties (not in Oklahoma but in other parts of the South).

In my state, you must go to a liquor store to buy beer that's more than 3.2 percent alcohol per volume.

Some people will argue with you that Budweiser is the best.

The delicious ales, bitters, lagers and the variety of European beers are often out of date as no one buys them often.

To some Americans, fine wine is in a box and Corona is considered a good quality beer.

They will ask you why you drink Scotch when Wild Turkey is the BEST!!!  Yuck!

You can't buy beer after 2 am, and in some areas, you can't buy beer on a Sunday (Arkansas- one place I can think of).

Some Americans think you're an alcoholic if you start drinking before the sun goes down on a weekend.

American wives:  Be prepared for other women to swoon over your husband's accent and flirt openly in front of you.

People will ask you if you married him for the way he talks.  I always say "Yeah, it's a great foundation for a marriage."  Sure.  Whatever!     That's why it's lasted for so long.

If your from London, you will be asked if you know Mary Poppins.  Uh, it's fiction...

If you are from Scotland, you will be asked if you know Rob Roy or William Wallace.  Uhhh....They've been dead for several centuries, but thanks for asking.

The desserts are too sweet.

You must learn to water your garden.  It can get dry here.

The water is flipped on the faucet.  Hot on the left, cold on the right.  Ahh...The early days when my husband used to scald himself in the shower... OUCH!

This is starting to get fun now...

The water is flipped on the faucet.  Hot on the left, cold on the right. 

That's also the British convention.   That's not to say you won't find some which have been installed reversed, but hot on the left, cold on the right is the accepted standard here.

It really will take a letter 2 days to get across town and 5 to get to another state. Royal Mail was far better than you ever gave them credit for!

The automated attendants on the phone will never understand you. Save time and just press # (that's "hash" in the UK, "pound" in the US) to talk to a person.

People will ask you about living in Russia. They've never heard of "The UK" and think you just said "Ukraine." 

Everybody will want to tell you about how they're probably related to you since they are Irish/Scottish/British because their great great great great grandfather was from Ireland/Scotland/England

It really will take a letter 2 days to get across town and 5 to get to another state. Royal Mail was far better than you ever gave them credit for!

The automated attendants on the phone will never understand you. Save time and just press # (that's "hash" in the UK, "pound" in the US) to talk to a person.

People will ask you about living in Russia. They've never heard of "The UK" and think you just said "Ukraine." 

Everybody will want to tell you about how they're probably related to you since they are Irish/Scottish/British because their great great great great grandfather was from Ireland/Scotland/England

How funny... I thought that was just my husband.  People do think he's from Russia. LOL.  It also doesn't help that he's 6ft 8 in and people think of that cold war image, the huge, mean Russian.

That's also the British convention.   That's not to say you won't find some which have been installed reversed, but hot on the left, cold on the right is the accepted standard here.

Doh!  I was always told it was opposite.  Good to know that, though.  I didn't noticed that when I visited, but I was trying to take more in than the plumbing. LOL!