Author Topic: UK Husbands -- How Is Your US Wife Adjusting?  (Read 6863 times)

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Offline vadio

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Re: UK Husbands -- How Is Your US Wife Adjusting?
« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2018, 09:34:02 AM »
IMHO, some who simply can't adjust never consider the UK to be 'home'. When I initially came to the UK back in the early 90s, I made the decision to make this country my home. I didn't try to make it like the US, nor did I constantly make comparisons about how different life is here. For me, that would have been a slippery slope.

Now, after being in Portugal for a brief period in the late 90s, back to the UK, and then to the US for 11 years (totally for economic reasons - long story), I am firmly settled here. I don't anticipate ever returning to the US to live; I much prefer life here.

Occasionally I have to remind DH that to me, the thing one puts on the floor to catch paint spatters is a drop cloth, and that a dust cloth is what I use to remove dust from furniture. It's a vacuum cleaner, and I vacuum the floor - I don't 'hoover it'. When he's in a mood, even after all these years he will play the 'deliberate misunderstanding word game'. I've learned to live with that.

I won't say it's not difficult, but I will say that during the past few years when I made the trek to visit aging parents, each time it struck me how much the US had changed. Life as I once knew it was definitely not the same, even in the little NC town where I grew up.

The period of adjustment is unique to each of us, and definitely affected by employment, friendship groups, and all the other things that would affect a person who might move anywhere that's different. For example, if your wife moved from LA to a tiny town in South Dakota (no offense to that state), it would be a culture shock. Just be understanding, and non-judgmental, as I am sure you will be.
Married December 1992 (my 'old flame' whom I first met in the mid-70s)
1st move to UK - 1993 (Letter of Consent granted at British Embassy in Washington DC)
ILR - 1994 (1 year later - no fee way back then!)
Back to US in 2000
Returned to UK July 2011 (Spousal Visa/KOL endorsement)
ILR - September 2011
Application for naturalization submitted July 2014
Approval received 15-10-14; ceremony scheduled for 10 November!
Passport arrived 25 November 2014. Finally done!

Offline snowie314

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Re: UK Husbands -- How Is Your US Wife Adjusting?
« Reply #16 on: January 24, 2018, 04:57:18 PM »
if your still wondering...for me being the us wife..i like to consider myself pretty socially capable and not bothered by small stuff but ive been in edinburgh for almost 4 months and for sure became and still am a bit on the very needy insecure side...i seem to need to be with my husband all the time which he doesnt mind..but still,since when can i not make friends and have a good time?i lived in europe for years and encountered something like this but i think here its cos its all his friends and his family/familiar to him and not me.
its really weird how it works but i think the important thing is having some thing that seems like your own,which i have yet to do and am considering taking up knitting.
i have started to feel more comfortable being an american here though,or maybe im taking less sh*t for saying things like "dish soap" instead of "washing up liquid"!
best of luck though!
I’m not too far away from you and I’m having similar problems as well. It just takes time but it certainly helps to have others to talk to. The feeling of isolation can be overwhelming.


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