The deciding factor...

I'm just curious to know how all of you (those who want to share!) made the decision to live either in the UK or US and if you consider that decision permanent.

I met my British DF while already here in the UK. We're marrying before my student visa expires and are staying here at least until he has finished his PhD. We have no idea what may happen after that. Going to the States is an option - along with many others.

This may sound a bit silly, but though my DF does want the opportunity to live in the US, he believes he would definitely want to come back here. He freely admits this is because 1) if we had another man like Bush in the White House he couldn't bear it  and 2) he's worried he'll like it too much and that makes him feel like he's be disloyal to his country!

Well when i first met him he told me he always loved small town america and wanted to live in the US at some point.  Once we started getting serious we had 'the talk' as I am extremely close to my family (as is he) but I would not make anywhere BUT the USA my permanent home.

He agreed, saying that he thinks the US is better opprotunity wise for housing, rasing a family.  He also knew that i would love living in the UK for a short time, but that the US would be our home because i wouldn't want to leave forever.

So here i am, moving because he got a better job for 2-3 years then coming back to buy a home and make babies.   

It's really the best solution for us....and we're both happy.  (although i do believe he would have liked to have come to the US sooner.....i think that he has warmed to the idea of showing me Europe and other places first now)

I've never considered any decision of mine to be permanent.  So moving to London could mean that I'll stay in the UK forever...or it might just be for a few years.  Some of it depends on how I feel about the experiences I'm having.  I don't feel that if I decided to stay there for the rest of my life that I was being disloyal to the US...by staying I wouldn't be saying I liked the UK better...just that I liked the UK (or that I met a most amazing UK man who had better opportunity in his home country).

My boyfriend and I are going to live in America for a few years until we have children. Then we are moving back to Europe- either southern, coastal France or coastal Spain. (I have to be near the water and I cant stand the weather in the UK.) We are looking into south Florida for a few years because its so cheap to live down there and we can build our savings. Once we have kids, we're out of there.

We decided I would move to the UK for economic reasons, primarily.  I was teaching public school in NC and was having an extremely hard time making ends meet, while my husband had a great job w/ the BBC and just seemed more "settled" here in the UK.  The decision was difficult - I come from a very large, close family and it was hell to leave them, but we all knew that our marriage would have a better foundation if I moved here.

Don't know if we'll be here forever.  DH is more open to the possibility of moving back the the US than I am at the moment.   

We tried the USA for three years and 6 months to the day my husband arrived.  At first he wanted to go back immediately.  Now it's more of a I would like to go back, but I could live in the USA given a different town and job. We are just not into strip malls and suburbia.

  In all honestly we are just going to try it for a few years.  I want to do my PhD in Spanish Politics (easier from there as it is closer to Spain) and we want to have kids (more towards natural brith there).

In the end it's just the right move for us right now.  We might come back... we might not.... who knows.  I have never lived any place all my life and do not forsee that happening much to my parents chagrin.. but who knows....

I think the best thing in life you can do is make the most of where you are and learn as much as you can.  After living in a place that I hate, I can say that attitude for me is 95% of the issue and a laugh and a smile can go a long way most times.

So where will we be in the end.... fate only knows!

It took us a while to realize it, but for the rest of our lives *no* decision about which country we live in will be permanent! We're really lucky to have both countries as an option for us, we (and so many in this forum) are really blessed to have that kind of chance. I moved to the UK initially because it was easier than him moving to the US, as I was much more flexible with my job. After 2 years here, we are now moving to the States because of his job: we've got a great opportunity over there we need to take. Who knows how long we'll stay there though!

In order for the decision to be permanent, we'd have to basically pick a favorite country. That's like picking a favorite child! Impossible... for us anyway. Both countries will forever be our home. So we're giving it a go in America - basically on a 5 year plan. Then after that we'll reevaluate once again. Sure we'll stay in one country while the kid(s) are in school, but there's nothing preventing us from picking up sticks again when we're older!

I also would love to live everywhere; Im a gypsy!  There are so many interesting countries (and states) that I would live to experience. That is one thing I love about my British boyfriend- he enjoys traveling and has a free spirit to move on to to new places. I think, when we have children we will want to stay in a primary spot for awhile but we really have not decided just yet (kids are another 4-5 years away!)

I lived too far from my sister Jan's family to see the kids grow up.  Now that sister Maureen has a bunch of young step-grandchildren, Auntie Chris *is* going to be there with them.

I have always been an Anglophile.  I had a pen-pal from Liverpool back in the 60s.  English lit was my favorite until I found Scottish contemporary, or Scots noir.  The way of life, the pace of life, the values are all calling to me.  I felt familiar with the countryside my first time there, and still feel at home over there.

Losing my job did help with the decision.  There are many more opportunities in higher education in the UK than in the US right now.  A job, the kiddies, the Geordie sense of humor, Devon cream--a no-brainer!

When I leave the US, it will be with the intention of returning only for visits.  I love the US, and I'm an American to the heart, but I love the Scottish Borders more.

I have always been an Anglophile

  So thats what Iam called then LOL

Yup. I'm an Anglophile too.
Chris, your mention of the penpal reminded me that I asked for a British penpal when I was 13...the best they could do was a Canadian. Living here...probably the first time I've ever felt at home.

Phil thought his moving to the US would be easier since I had two children.  But there was no way he could stand the weather in Florida, which meant moving to another state, which I convinced him would be pretty much the same to the kids as moving to another country.  Plus, if we moved to another state in the US, neither of us would have any family or friends - we would be completely alone.  He has a wonderful family and great friends he's had for years - so the decision was simple, really. 

And this is permanent.  I have no intention of living anywhere but the UK on a permanent basis.

(ny_2_uk - I don't know where in South Florida you plan on moving because it's "so cheap to live down there," but that's where I'm from and it's not so cheap... at least, not in my experience...)

Lisa,

I hit the penpal jackpot.  She was the president of the Herman's Hermits fan club.  I still have her letters.  They are full of info about the Liverpool and Manchester music scene in the mid 60s.

I'm one of the handful of people here who aren't moving for a partner, but I'm still moving for love--my UK family.  Can't wait to be awakened by 4 kids and 2 dogs crawling into bed with me!

Yeah-- no where is permanent for us really.  I have lived out of the US for most of my adult life (not just in Britain).  and DH is South African.  WE have a few members of our families here, in SA and in the states, so I can't say that we should move to anyone country for that reason.  Also I find America really overwhelming now.  Everytime I have gone back I end up crying in Walmart because there is just sooooo much stuff and it is so big and the car parks always remind of of the sea with seagulls and big beached whale cars stretching as far as the eye can see.  Ugh makes me shudder just to think about it.

Then I think about moving to SOuth Africa and the racism really upsets me and Britain--ugh--transport and queues!

Then there are thinks I love about all of the places--the Mississippi River has to be the best river in the world and the INdian Ocean in SOuth Africa is exactly like an ocean should be  and my view from my kitchen in Windsor....perfect.

So all in all, I doubt anywhere will be home--I just have to remember that I am lucky to have been everywhere I have been and have as many options as I do and maybe permanence is the sacrifice I have to make for that.

Peedal, all of Florida is alot cheaper then the Hamptons, where I live!