He Finally Told His Family!

Tim hadn't told his family I was his girlfriend. Just that a "female friend was coming to stay with him for two months from America".  Because, you know, that wouldn't raise any eyebrows or anything like that.

Yesterday he IMed me on Skype and told me he had company and it was his siblings.  So I wrote "Hi <bros name>, Hi <sis name>!"  and he said they waved back.  This is the first time he had ever kept the IM with me open while his family was over. Usually he would shut down chat when they were around or not bother to sign on, mostly because it's kind of rude to ignore people for IM.  So, I was sort of surprised that he had bothered to sign on with them over.

Anyway, Tim made a comment about the family dog "bouncing in the flowerbed"  and then  his brother made some type of lewd comment to the effect of would he be doing any bouncing with me that got the three of them laughing and then Sarah asked him if I was his girlfriend.  He told them that I was, and to his great surprise he got a positive reaction out of everyone!

I'm so happy.  It was sort of bothering me that he hadn't told anyone we were dating, but I understood his reasons.  He's 38 and hasn't really had much of a love life in the past, so he was afraid he'd get hassled about it OR be forced to listen to advice.  So I understood, but I also told him that if his family didn't know by the time I got there (17 days!), they would, because I wasn't about to hide the fact that we were dating (not like I would do anything like a PDA in front of his parents or anything like that). He agreed and said we'd deal with that when it happened.

I'm just so relieved that it's out, and out before my visit.  And even better/funnier?  His parents are treating us, his bro + gf, and sis to go see Spamalot in November. 

Everyone is apparently really supportive of Tim having a girlfriend and doesn't mind that I'm from America. 

Yay.

That is great news. I know how nerve racking it can be to tell the family that you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, when they live half a world away and they dont understand the dynamics of the relationship. It is great his family are being so supportive.

Yeah, I'm really happy about it and I can't wait to meet them.

   That's great news.  And it sounds like you'll have a lot of fun with his family. 

That is so exciting! I'm very happy for you; I remember what an experience that was for my fiance and I.

Basically what happened was, I told my family as soon as the two of us were seriously going to be serious (seriously). He put off telling his family for as long as he could- he was nervous about it, and kept saying that he really didn't talk to his mum about that stuff. I would ask him each day if he'd done it, and be disappointed with a 'soon' response. A few months later, he did eventually tell her. They've been our biggest supporters since!

I'm very happy for you, I know how wonderful it makes you feel.

My in-laws knew about us being together, but DH did not tell them we were married for 5 months. We ran off and got married at the court house in Los Angeles on one of his visits. He was afraid that his mother and aunties would be mad at him for not having a HUGE wedding in Barbados like his brother. I had actually been over on a spousal visa and living in their home for 10 days before he told them. His brother and sister-in-law knew and were kidding him about it. When we finally told them all that was said was...For what we spent on your brother's wedding you could have a down payment on a home. But Afro-Caribbean men get really scared of their mummies...it is so cute.

Aww cute stories

Yesterday, I had a facebook add request from his sister with a message that she couldn't wait to meet me Yay.  His sister is only 6 years younger than me, so I think she and I will get along pretty well!

my guy told his family we were together before i told mine. i waited a couple weeks after i got back to tell them. but they said they kind of guessed it.

im happy for you. its very stressful though. i was in the country 3 days before i had to meet his family. it was his sisters birthday and they wanted us to go out to dinner with them. we were only "friends" at the time but everyone kind of noticed it was a little more. just nothing official yet.

good luck with it and im sure they will love you as much as he does.

Congratulations that is fantastic! I know how scary and werid it can be when they won't tell too.  It took my fiance a little while also, but for obvious reasons...many people could not understand how you can build a real relationship from a half a world away. 


Meeting his family was soooo scary for me, and then once I did I felt silly for ever being worried about it.  I hope everything works out for you the way it has been working out for me.  It's really nice to have the support of both families during this difficult process time. 

Good Luck!!

Thanks everyone!

Nine days to go!

But anyway.  I'm here and it's wonderful and his family likes me   I've even managed to hang out with his parents without him and with his sister

I've even managed to hang out with his parents without him and with his sister Smiley

Oh man, well done that! I take it you survived the 'so, hmm, well then Anna, tell me about yourself' interrogation, if there was one? I got that one back in the day, and it's so much worse when delivered in an extremely posh accent 

Felt like my response sounded like "Gee golly, Mr. Englishman, we're just so in love, y'know. I dunno about my career yet, because love is more important to me than the right to work right now. Aw, shucks."

Anyway. Glad to hear things are going well.

  Di

Di

His sister added me to facebook about two weeks before I arrived, so she and I got to know each other a bit through facebook's IM thing and messaging each other, so I think that really helped, too.

We had gone over to his parent's house (sister is in Uni and lives at home too) for dinner and two days later I needed a dish to bake a crisp in, so Tim gives me his parent's number and tells me to call them to borrow something since they live around the corner and when I got there, his dad invited me to sit down for a cup of tea, and then his mum joined us and we chatted for at least 2 hours about random things.  I met his brother and his gf a few days later and we wound up inviting them to stay for dinner! 

Since it was half-term last week, Tim's sister was over a bit to keep me entertained, and I went shopping with her and their mum on Friday.

I still haven't met the grandparents, but Tim's sister assures me they are eager to meet me...the gp's were concerned I was going to whisk Tim away to America, but Tim's sister explained to them I wanted to move here....and she also told me that her and their mum are already planning on Tim and I having babies!

Glad to hear the visit's going well Anna!   

I remember 1st time I came over to visit DH:
His parents were really cool & very welcoming to me.  I'd spoken to his parents briefly in passing through phone calls, but had a bit more time to talk to them once I visited.
I felt so bad, as DH had to buy a new bed, as all he had was a single for when I came to visit.     V. embarassing as he was still living with his parents (up until we moved into our own house).
He never told me it was Mother's Day here (while I was here) and so had to rush out and buy her a gift... 

Oh the things I look back and laugh at.   

I felt so bad, as DH had to buy a new bed, as all he had was a single for when I came to visit.     V. embarassing as he was still living with his parents (up until we moved into our own house).

Tim moved his bed into a larger room before I arrived! 

From talking to his sister, I've found out that his mum was bugging him to buy a "better guest room bed" because the folding cot was "okay for your male friends, but a female guest needs a real bed"...and of course, Tim never bought a new bed for his guest room because I was going to sleep in his. LOL.