The Secret

I've been basically spiraling down into a very deep ugly realm and I made a post about how horrible life is and basically went over a list of what I hate about it. I had a friend who went to a seminar with Tony Robbins and she also saw a movie called 'The Secret'. She linked me to the first 20 mins of the movie and I was in complete silence...I had no come back...nothing. I've always thought if you "think happy" you will be happy eventually but it's been hard the last 2 years. Things just keep going wrong and I watched the video and it made sense...

I remember that there are some people on here that aren't very happy...that want to leave England or just hate their lives and I thought I'd share.



It really does make a lot of sense...

After watching it I immediately downloaded a few "happy songs" ...songs that make me smile and make me happy.

Thoughts?

Oh. NO. Sorry. But that "Secret" crap is oversimplified in the extreme.

It takes more than just "think happy and focus on your dreams!!" to rise out of difficult circumstances and a dark mindset. Some people are going to need a lot more help than "Oh c'mon THINK POSITIVE!"

The whole "law of attraction" and manifestation theory and preaching can actually be not a positive but dangerous one to start putting on people for whom life has taken a downturn. Some "Secret" people have turned it into a stick to beat others with, in a kind of preachy evangelical zeal.

"Law of attraction" has already turned into a vicious weapon that I've seen people on some online forum boards using willy nilly on even cases like rape victims, or people for whom terrible things happened in spite of their making the best possible choices they could in their power. I've seen nasty attacks online made by fanatics of the Secret movement; it's become a tool of a lot of ugliness and the same kind of judgementalism that old style fundamentalist Christianity makes people run from.

Chemical imbalance that needs medical attention and the care of a doctor, talk therapy or possibly medication cannot be addressed with the simplistic  "Oprah" style optimism of the things put forward in the book The Secret. By the same token, some people's life circumstances are going to need a hell of a lot more of a very real, nitty gritty, practical fix than just "happy thoughts," and especially a lot more than telling them they "attracted" this crap to them and it's fundamentally their own fault somehow. THAT is the what too many people are taking from their enthusiasm for "The Secret" philosophies.

There has already been a big backlash against the Pollyanna tone of this "movement."

I just want to make it clear that I don't think it's the end all be all of peoples problems. I just thought it was interesting and that it could possibly work if you find yourself always having negative thoughts. I do agree some people need meds and I am one of them but I think at the same time it could work...there's no harm in trying atleast in my opinion. Obviously if you have huge issues from rape and the lot then you need help not just positive thinking. I go to therapy and actually have an appointment on tuesday to get put on meds but I thought this was interesting...that's all.

I hope this doesn't turn into some big online debate

Wow, Midnights_mom, that's an extreme response.

I really feel like if this works for you than that is great. It isn't at all 'Pollyanna" to use positive thoughts to make things better in your life. Obviously this isn't what will work if you have a chemical imbalance, because that is physiological, but if believing in in the law of attraction and using positive thinking takes a person out of a dark place, what could be wrong with that?

My mom loves The Secret and she honestly believes in it.  She is very much a new person since she started living her life positively and it's affected us all. She's no longer the selfish stubborn mother she was growing up. She's now very mature.

I think that if it helps you, lovely, then it can't be bad. You have had a hard couple of years.

It's just that there is a core thought that many Secret fans have picked up on and twisted, and that is a basic judgmentalism these fans have brought into the whole "Law of Attraction" concept that is one of The Secret's fundamental concepts. They have oversimplified what gets a person into a downturn in the first place, emotionally or in solid circumstances, and made this basic concept be largely a blame-game. That's sick territory.

The lighter notion of just trying to find something happy in one's day, sure, that's not what I'm railing against -- it's certainly true that nobody improved their situation by NOT trying to reach for a plan, a goal, something to lift their spirits or get them through so that they can make changes, get help, get treatment, or an education, or rehab, or whatever they are going to need to turn their life around.

But "The Secret" is a tainted philosophy; I've seen horrible debates in which, as I've said, people are using it's basic tenets to JUDGE others and beat them up for their problems, and thus, I can't stand anything about this noxious book.

The "Law of attraction" is NOT a good thing to start bandying around to people for whom things are going wrong. People have sunk wholesale into taking that notion and pointing the finger at those who did NOTHING to "attract" what is going on in their lives.

Sometimes "sh*t HAPPENS" despite our BEST plans and most positive thinking. Secret fans have, in their hysteria, forgotten that.

The lighter notion of just trying to find something happy in one's day, sure, that's not what I'm railing against -- it's certainly true that nobody improved their situation by NOT trying to reach for a plan, a goal, something to lift their spirits or get them through so that they can make changes, get help, get treatment, or an education, or rehab, or whatever they are going to need to turn their life around.

Exactly what I was talking about and this whole post was about.

But "The Secret" is a tainted philosophy; I've seen horrible debates in which, as I've said, people are using it's basic tenets to JUDGE others and beat them up for their problems, and thus, I can't stand anything about this noxious book.

I'm not one of those people...like I said its just a nice idea. This isn't a "The Secret" forum and I doubt there's any extreamists here. I was just simply stating how nice it seems and how it could help lighten your mood...

Wow, Midnights_mom, that's an extreme response.

I really feel like if this works for you than that is great. It isn't at all 'Pollyanna" to use positive thoughts to make things better in your life. Obviously this isn't what will work if you have a chemical imbalance, because that is physiological, but if believing in in the law of attraction and using positive thinking takes a person out of a dark place, what could be wrong with that?

  (2 thumbs up)

My mom loves The Secret and she honestly believes in it.  She is very much a new person since she started living her life positively and it's affected us all. She's no longer the selfish stubborn mother she was growing up. She's now very mature.

I think that if it helps you, lovely, then it can't be bad. You have had a hard couple of years.

Aww, how nice for your mom that's awesome!! (sorry i keep reading this back and it sounds really bitchy. I mean it in the most sincere way though)

Aww, how nice for your mom that's awesome!! (sorry i keep reading this back and it sounds really bitchy. I mean it in the most sincere way though)

It doesn't sound bitchy at all, hon.

I have no idea what this is about, but I actually really want to watch this clip later (I'm at work and no sound on the pc).  I have always felt it was really important to think positively, and I try to be upbeat as much as possible.  I always tell my mom not to be negative or to let the negativity of others affect her mood.  If this clip really puts that in perspective, then you can bet I will be forwarding it on to her.  Hopefully with the same results as Ashley had with her mom... my mom is the moodiest person EVER!! 
While I agree that people with severe chemical imbalances probably need something more to help them out, I think way too many people seem to look to meds to make their life more tolerable when a lot would change if they just looked to themselves to change it.  Just my humble opinion... 

I hope this doesn't turn into some big online debate

What? On UKY?? Never!!! 

I really feel like if this works for you than that is great.

That's about how I feel. It's not for me at all, but who am I to say that it isn't a good thing for others?

Wow, Midnights_mom, that's an extreme response.

I really feel like if this works for you than that is great. It isn't at all 'Pollyanna" to use positive thoughts to make things better in your life. Obviously this isn't what will work if you have a chemical imbalance, because that is physiological, but if believing in in the law of attraction and using positive thinking takes a person out of a dark place, what could be wrong with that?

Well said.

I have seen "The Secret" and really thought it was interesting.  It only confirmed for me some suspicions I already had, and also was in a way, an amalgamation of loads of things I've read before.

I agree with Midnight'sMom that some people can twist it and place blame on those who are having a rough time saying "It's all their own fault because of their negative thoughts", etc and I agree that is wrong--sometimes bad stuff happens to good people.  Lots of times, in fact.

However, I can see first hand the results of simply surrounding myself with positive people.   I won't go into the details, but I see it every day at work.  Both new-agey types and psychiatrists alike will agree to the wisdom of surrounding oneself with positive people.  I see how being around negative people really brings a person down--it's like a disease.  And being around positive people, and being positive oneself is uplifting.

This opposing view from a guy writing in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

The main theme of "The Secret" is that old mind-over-matter deal, where one's brain sends out magnetic waves into the universe, ultimately bringing into one's life the things those waves communicate. Want a necklace? Concentrate on it, and some guy will buy it for you.

[...]

"The Secret" is a cheap, almost brilliantly peddled bunch of spiritual hokum.

I certainly felt that myself when I read it.

It reminds me of those cancer clinics you read about where patients who don't get better are told that it is their fault for not wanting it hard enough.