How long did it take you to make friends in the UK?

Also, i've found it easier to make friends with other foreigners.  My best friend here is polish. 

Yes, I think that tends to be true.  I always seemed to gravitate to "foreigners": Australian, Canadian, Dutch, Japanese...  When I first arrived I would meet people (British) who would say "Oh, you must meet so-and-so, she's from [State X]" and they would drag me off.  And yes, it was nice to meet another American but that was all we had in common usually so it never really worked out.  Then I went through a phase of really wanting to assimilate and not stand out in every group as "The American"  You find you adopt more and more of the accent and lingo in an effort to be understood and blend in.  You join clubs or whatever and feel you're at last beginning to "belong" and have British friends.  But after about 20 years I just felt like "oh, the heck with it -- I'm just me"
Maybe it would have been different if DH had a large extended family but there was only his parents -- no one our generation.

Though it has been a while, I think this subject is still relevant and now I can offer my own experiences.

In echo of a few others, I don't believe I tend to gravitate towards foreigners, but my best friends here are Singaporean and Polish. I'm still trying to figure out British etiquette when it comes to making friends. I know you can't generalize on such a thing, but I feel clueless when I spend the day speaking to someone, have a good time, things go well and to still feel like I'm not their friend or at least in the motion of becoming their friend. I also feel odd when trying to 'ask them out to hang out.' Makes me feel like I'm asking them out on a date! I'll give it more time though...

To be honest, I havent really made any "proper" friends since ive been here. and Ive been here since 2005!

Sure, I had "work friends" when I worked an a office,but once I left the company, I never spoke to them again

And of course I am "friends" with my partners friends.

And I do have a lot of aquantiances in the (tattoo) industry

I'm just not the type of person who goes out drinking. (so cant meet people in pubs)
I'm also not the type of person to join a "hobby group"

So I dont have a proper "friend".
 As someone else said, I am more quicker to get on with males rather then females,because of my intrests. I like muscle cars,tattoos and etc. And i hate shopping and the whole pampering thing, and I am yet to meet a female who share my intrests.

And also, it seems a lot of the females here..are..ermm.."slags" The type who goes to a club and goes home with some random guy on a regular basis. And I really don't want to be friends with people like that

I met some people quite quickly through mailinglists emails when I first arrived, back then there was a lot of pub meets. Seeing my husband  and I just returned we have met a few folks through meetup.com, also I found it soo much easier now that I have a job, they seem like a nice bunch and we have gone out a few times in the last few weeks at work

And also, it seems a lot of the females here..are..ermm.."slags" The type who goes to a club and goes home with some random guy on a regular basis. And I really don't want to be friends with people like that

That would not be my experience at all.

That would not be my experience at all.

Well I'd like to know where you live then

Well I'd like to know where you live then

Surrey for the last twenty years and I don't know anyone like that.

[quote author=Ink-Spirational link=topic=48189.msg856415#msg856415 date=1264259522

And also, it seems a lot of the females here..are..ermm.."slags" The type who goes to a club and goes home with some random guy on a regular basis. And I really don't want to be friends with people like that
[/quote]

Oy, I would disagree with that completely. Its possible you are hanging out in places and with people who have that attitude, but in my experience, thats a pretty sweeping generalisation.

I dont hang out in places like that. Where I use to work (A very popular insurance company) the girls I worked with would go on and on about going to such and such club and pulled a guy or pulled the bouncer. This was a regular thing with them

And when I did mistakingly go to a club once, my ex-sister in laws friends did the same and said thats the "norm" in the UK and casual sex wasnt a big deal.

Just look at the girls in town. Their skirts look like belts and its in the middle of winter.


Oh hell, I forgot, I'm not in the "group" here, so no one would agree with me,and a majority of people are going to disagree and tell me how wrong I am.

Im done in this thread

my ex-sister in laws friends did the same and said thats the "norm" in the UK and casual sex wasnt a big deal.

Your ex-sister-in-law's friends are sadly mistaken. And I feel sorry for them if that's all they know.

Aw Carly, that's really not very nice. Not all British women are like that and you well know it and as for that whole "in crowd" thing ... I'm not even going to go there.  I'm surprised you haven't met anyone through your daughter's nursery or toddler groups, that sort of thing. 

Maybe not muscle cars in the UK, but there are tons of women who like ink in the UK! Don't you get any in your BF's shop?

Just look at the girls in town. Their skirts look like belts and its in the middle of winter.


Oh hell, I forgot, I'm not in the "group" here, so no one would agree with me,and a majority of people are going to disagree and tell me how wrong I am.

When generalizations are made, people can either agree or disagree. Regardless of 'groups' or whatever, just remember that there are British women on here and Americans with British friends. Yes, I have seen the belt-like skirts, so in one sense I can see what you mean. However, like any others have said, I haven't really met anyone like that, but I'm not saying that they don't exist. After all, you didn't say ALL British women were 'slags.'

Back to the topic, perhaps because I'm a student, I was able to find a good group of friends fairly quick. Though, they are all girls and back in the US, I had mostly guy friends. I would like to have some male-friends in the UK, but again, still trying to figure out the etiquette on that one.  

Surrey for the last twenty years and I don't know anyone like that.

I've been in different places in South Buckinghamshire and now in Oxfordshire and I agree with Mindy - I don't know anyone like that either, thank goodness.

In Ink's defense, I have met many young girls that I work with and that work where DH does that behave that way and aren't afraid to freely talk about it. I won't say all or even the majority but a lot.

Now, as to how long it took me to make friends. I have made about 10 good friends in the five years I've been here. Two of those are DH's best friend and his girlfriend. The rest are people I have met through playing World of Warcraft and we now get together in different places for weekends of real-life fun. It's quite logical for me to make more friends in an online game, after all, that's the way I met DH!