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Topic: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately  (Read 5586 times)

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Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« on: December 11, 2008, 05:19:01 PM »
Hello all,

Usually I am pretty good about dealing with being an american living in the Uk, considering I have lived here for 6 years now...but lately i am working with a new gal at work and she keeps making comments in front of a lot of co workers about different 'american' words i say like today i said car pool instead of car share and she commented on the way i pronounce paper...it was really getting on my nerves today...i felt she was being insensitve...

just felt like crying about it today really ...sometimes its hard not being able 2 relate culturally
« Last Edit: December 11, 2008, 05:30:47 PM by Blondshania »
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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2008, 05:31:34 PM »
I'd tell her to shut the f up.  She's the new girl, not you, why does she have the right to make you feel uncomfortable?

Or, be more subtle, find something about her which is a little bit different, and make subtle little digs about that.  Hopefully she will get the message.


Vicky


Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2008, 05:45:49 PM »
Everybody has the right to feel good about going to work, and anyone who takes that away from you is bullying you. You need to nip this in the bud. You could try taking her on one side and telling her that you could, if necessary, take it to your manager as a harassment issue. If she is new and on trial she'll get the message. If not, she shouldn't be retained.




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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2008, 05:49:22 PM »
thanks for your support...i think she is just joking about things..but at times i can be sensitive/hormonal and it just bothers me more than other times... sometimes you don't want to be seen as the novelty - the american and just as a person
My home for 18 years since June 2002. Became a citizen 2006


Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2008, 06:18:41 PM »
sometimes you don't want to be seen as the novelty - the american and just as a person

But you are American as well as being a person, and you are entitled to respect for being both.


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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2008, 07:33:55 PM »
"Oh, I'm so sorry you're having problems understanding me. I'll speak slower next time."

Bonus points if you can say it sweetly and with a smile. Personally, I don't think I could.
And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
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"Thank you for being a friend!"


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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2008, 08:27:35 PM »
Though I absolutely love Vicki's idea and it would probably be the first thing I'd want to do, it's very likely that she has no clue that what she's saying bothers you.  The majority of people you'll meet don't typically try to hurt people for no reason.  You may just want to take her aside and let her know her response to your accent upsets you, with good reason.  If she continues after that, then tell her to shut the f up ;)  But seriously, do it before she's made any comments that day to upset you so you're an neutral as possible. and she'll probably feel kinda bad that she's made you feel this way.


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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2008, 08:33:56 PM »
I agree.  Although there's really no excuse for the behaviour, this may be the way to go, especially if you 'analyse' her maturity level and find that she's treating you like an American TV programme!  I do get where you're coming from, though - thankfully, my novelty factor at work has worn off and it's only occasionally brought up that I've said something in a really American manner  (I was once jokingly accused of taking the P for sounding a bit more British in the way I say things) - it wears thin if it continues.
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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2008, 06:02:14 PM »
Try not to stress about it. Its just novelty value for her and maybe she has never had any interactions with Amercians before. Come and chat with me instead and I'll make you feel comfortable :)


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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2008, 06:06:09 PM »
You could apologise to her for not sounding like Vicki Pollard or say something like "No worries, I will try to learn a bit more Chav speak to make you feel more comfortable, right luv?"
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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2008, 05:59:15 PM »
You could apologise to her for not sounding like Vicki Pollard or say something like "No worries, I will try to learn a bit more Chav speak to make you feel more comfortable, right luv?"

LMAO!!!!   ;D  Yeah, but no but, yeah, but no....

Last night there were a few people at the pub, standing around me, all silent, then they finally admitted they were just waiting for me to say something "American"... lol
It is strange being a novelty to people, but hopefully once she is around you a bit more she will get past that and stop making comments.  If she continues to make you uncomfortable, just tell her you wish she would stop always commenting on your accent, and that you would like to focus more on work than what she thinks of your speech.  You could always remind her that people on the other side of the pond would just loooooove to hear her say "car park".... lol


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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2008, 04:42:16 PM »
Shes going to australia for xmas..i told her that if i were her, i wouldnt speak over there...as they mite make fun of her accent.... ;)
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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2008, 10:13:52 AM »
Shes going to australia for xmas..i told her that if i were her, i wouldnt speak over there...as they mite make fun of her accent.... ;)

 ;D ;D ;D



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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2008, 02:33:43 PM »
Hello all,

Usually I am pretty good about dealing with being an american living in the Uk, considering I have lived here for 6 years now...but lately i am working with a new gal at work and she keeps making comments in front of a lot of co workers about different 'american' words i say like today i said car pool instead of car share and she commented on the way i pronounce paper...it was really getting on my nerves today...i felt she was being insensitve...



She is an insecure cow that is trying to gang up on someone by using their differences against them.  Please don't waste your time being upset. Be proud of your accent - I am!  Just kill her with kindness and if she cracks another joke simply say "I'm sorry, is there something wrong with the way I speak?"  If you call her out on her inappropriate behavior, she may be embarrassed and stop.


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Re: Sensitve to comments about my accent lately
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2009, 10:39:52 PM »
I can feel sensitive about it, but I do try to just take it for what it is. I know that when I first was getting to know my husband (and "British", or even solely Yorkshire, words!) I often teased him just as much as he teased me (we both still do!  ;D)

I find it a bit peculiar when I have to back myself up and rephrase what I was saying to people over the phone, especially at work, and with phone calls I make in regards to my bills etcetera. I have had to totally retrain my brain to speaking/phrasing in more of a "British sense" (as much as I am stubborn... I am stubborn about not changing my American-ness. While I love Britain, I am proud to be American and don't intend to 'turn British' like Madonna or what have you...)
However, I have found that this works most of the time... except when people in my family call me! Then I forget, and I phrase things in a British way, and they tell me, "*gigglegiggle* You are sounding so British, Gena..." And then I go, "NO! GAH! NO!"

Boy, did my coworkers think I was a hoot when I first started my job at an NHS hospital...
For weeks, I kept hearing them ask or say to each other, "Want to nip down to the Canteen?"
I had just started my job, but it took me three weeks after hearing that over and over before I asked someone, "...Is there a restaurant in here called Canteen... where is it?"
My coworker laughed and laughed and said, "...I think you guys call them cafeterias..."

*face --> palm*


« Last Edit: January 07, 2009, 10:42:21 PM by suregena »


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