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Topic: My future inlaws???  (Read 3322 times)

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My future inlaws???
« on: December 20, 2008, 12:10:49 AM »
My boyfriend's mother is getting married tomorrow. To a man both my bf and I can't stand. To a man who is a jerk and gives me the creeps.  :-\\\\  Tomorrow is also bf's 24th birthday. Did she really have to do it tomorrow?

Bf's mom didn't even tell bf. His dad called an hour ago and said "your mother told me something a few days ago and you need to call her and find out the news." She's known for 2+ months that she's getting remarried on his birthday.

He asked her why tomorrow and she said, because fdh's insurance runs out at the end of the year, so we have to get married before the end of Dec. so I can add him to my insurance."  ??? I'm sorry, but last time I checked there are 30 other days in Dec that you could get married on.  >:(

What makes it even worse, was that on bf's 16th birthday, his mom told him that she had some "big news" for him. He thought he was getting a car. Nope. She decided that would be the best day to serve his dad with divorce papers.  :\\\'(

I'm speechless at this woman's behavior. I feel so bad for dbf and just don't know what to say or do.  :-\\\\ I love my bf, but I really can't stand his mom and her soon to be husband.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2008, 03:19:07 AM »
How horrible!


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2008, 04:41:26 AM »
I know. I'm still shocked. And I'd planned some big surprises for bf's birthday tomorrow, but he's rather upset over what his mom is doing it's going to take all the fun out of it.  >:( :(
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain


Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2008, 11:27:20 AM »
Oh my god how terrible, this woman sounds toxic!
Poor boyfriend :(

Maybe the surprise will take his mind off things and show him that someone cares which will be of some comfort.

Hope you guys can have a nice day regardless :(


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2008, 05:05:15 PM »
She didn't even call him on his birthday. What a b*tch!

And I took him to outback steakhouse for his bday. He got king crab legs and steak. One of the crab legs didn't have meat in it. He complained to the waiter. The manager then came over and pretty much accused bf of stealing the meat out of the crab leg. WTF!?!? He hadn't even opened the leg.  ::) >:(

Then later bf told me that he and his mom were at outback on his birthday the year she showed him the divorce papers. BF had never told me that! If I had known that, I would have gone somewhere else. I feel horrible for going there now, but I had no way of knowing.

BF was going to go home tomorrow for xmas, but has decided to wait a day or two and leave the day after xmas. I don't blame him at all! If it were me, I'd probably just not go home this year.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2008, 05:15:18 PM »
What a drag.  So sorry.  I've got toxic parent issues, too so I can kind of relate.  Thank goodness your boyfriend has you!
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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2008, 05:45:04 PM »
There are no words...I'm sorry your boyfriend has to go through all this.


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2008, 06:28:01 PM »
Oh my word!!!  I just don't know what to say.  I'm so sorry for you both.  This should be a happy time shared as a family.  What a disappointment to have it turn so oddly bizarre--then the twists like Outback when you are trying to cheer him up . . . there just aren't words.  Hope things pick up.


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2008, 01:56:19 PM »
Sorry to hear your BF's mom is such a b!atch.... and that your own plans didn't work out as well as you had hoped.  At least he has you to offer some support.   :(


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2008, 06:07:44 AM »
I get to go out to eat lunch with bf and his family tomorrow. They originally invited me over to their house, but bf's mom has let her hubby smoke in the house whenever he wants to. I have asthma and I just don't think it's a good idea. Smoke is one of the main things that triggers my asthma. Plus she uses glade plugins and that makes me have asthma issues too. And I'm getting over some major ear/sinus issues and I don't want to make myself sicker.

I think bf's mom is slightly insulted that I'm not coming to their house. They are all over there playing cards now, and I could have gone. I feel really excluded, or maybe more like I'm excluding myself, by not going.

I don't know what I'll do in the future. BF has hinted around about us getting engaged sometime in the next 1-2 years. There is no way I could ever go over there and spend a Christmas day around all that smoke and fragrance stuff. Which means I'm not exactly going to be able to get to know my future inlaws (not that I necessarily want to at this point)

I hate all of this. My dad's parents were really rude towards my mom and my mom's parents still hate my dad. It was part of the reason my parents split up. I don't want the same thing for my future in-law relationships. I just want everyone to get along.  :-\\\\
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2008, 08:48:23 AM »
Could your bf not talk to his mom/step-dad and ask that he smoke outside while you are visiting?  The Glade plug-ins can be removed as well.  It is a medical issue, so they should understand.

I think you all need to make an effort here.  Having your bf speak to them is a good start.  Maybe you aren't giving the entire story, but IMO it's a bit rude just to decide not to go over, without at least trying to make some sort of arrangement. 


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2008, 09:05:36 AM »
My MIL smokes constantly and we live with her.  :o
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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2008, 03:40:25 PM »
The last time I went over to their house the man sat and blew smoke in my face, after bf had already told all of them I was allergic. He then sat and talked about how some people have made up diseases, like asthma, which are just all in people's head.  >:( BF's mom just laughed and didn't do anything about it.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain


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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2008, 05:32:55 PM »
Charming!  If you do end up getting engaged, you could invite them to your house for these events -- with a strict No Smoking rule.  But that is hard to enforce. 
Having him not smoke when you are there won't really work, because the house is saturated with years of smoke.  :P
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Re: My future inlaws???
« Reply #14 on: December 26, 2008, 08:06:13 PM »
Charming!  If you do end up getting engaged, you could invite them to your house for these events -- with a strict No Smoking rule.  But that is hard to enforce. 
Having him not smoke when you are there won't really work, because the house is saturated with years of smoke.  :P


Ahh, my brain just painted a little fantasy world for me where when people light up in others' homes after being asked not to, someone screams "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE ON FIRE!" and dumps a glass of water on their head.

Dare to dream, eh?
And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
"Thank you for being a friend!"


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