Hello from Gosport

Hello, I'm Maureen from the Bronx. I moved to Gosport (near Portsmouth) about a month ago to be with my fiance who is in the Royal Navy.

I just wanted to introduce myself and to see if there are others living in the area. While I like it here I'm finding myself  a bit lonely as I'm often on my own and will be even more now.

Hi Maureen,

 I am not in your area... not in England yet for that matter...  but, I wanted to welcome you to UKY.  Engaged to a navy man eh?  I guess you will be on your own some...  until you do get to meet some people around, you know that there are many friendly faces in here to talk to and to be here if ya need someone.

shel

Hello Maureen, it is normal to feel a bit lonely, but things will improve! Good luck with your Navy man! Soon you'll find out what an adventure your new life is!

Hi Maureen.

Funnily, I just read a post from someone moving to the Gosport area, subject was "Looking for Friends".

Coincidence?

And welcome. I hope you'll join in the converstations.

Hi All,

Thank you for responding.  Slowly but surely I'm getting used to life here, I've only been here a month so I'm not expecting to know everything right away. I'm just finding it extremely difficult to meet people. Once we get beyond that initial questioning of whether I'm Canadian or not or is NY really like it is on Friends, it just kind of stops.  It's kind of like they've found out the information they wanted and move on.

What makes it even more difficult is I work out of my house so I don't even have the opportunity to meet people at the office.  Dave has been wonderful but obviously due to certain global situations he has other things on his mind.  He leaves on Monday for 2 1/2 - 3 months and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I imagine the best way to meet people is to go to a pub so maybe I'll do that.  Other then that I don't have any ideas..

Well I've rambled on enough, thank you all for listening.  

He leaves on Monday for 2 1/2 - 3 months and I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Oh my goodness, this doesn't sound good.  Do you know ANYone?  Is there some sort of wives/girlfriends organization.  Sorry, I know next to nothing about the Royal Navy.  All I can say is hang in there and please feel free to post on these boards.  They can be a big help.  Hope everything works out and good luck to your fiance.  

Maureen...my heart goes out. i recall when I first moved across and my husband's job took him away from home from 7am to 7pm and then he just came home and collapsed. I didn't go anywhere and the house where we lived had really low ceilings and it was dark (brown carpets, brown curtains...). I knew no one and it was a tiny village and I swear the people who lived there hated me, even though I'd not met them.

Do get out of the house, but don't spend all your time in pubs. Go to a gym, or go for walks, or join in some sort of volunteer work. And, do hang out here. We've all been through what you are going through in some small way or another. We can not only give advice, but we do get together and meet up. Watch out for events. Hang with us, okay? The months will rush by...well, only seem like it once it's all over.

What sort of work do you do out of the house?

Maureen, I'm sure there are a lot of us who have been shut in at home for some reason or another, certainly us mums get a lot of that. I've been shut in most of the time I've been here, 3-1/2 years. Meeting people here is dead hard if you're in that situation. I know my in-laws, who live 2 hours away, and am aquainted with a neighbor, I've made efforts to be friends with her, but she already has a full life it seems. Somehow I think that if I didn't have the children it'd be a lot different, I'd be going out and seeing things, even if it were on my own, there's so dang much I'd like to see and do. It is hard though, being isolated, and there are times when you feel like if you don't talk to someone, you'll just need a straight-jacket. :-/
Feel free to vent here. Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, and take the time to do things that you've always wanted to do but never had the time, if you keep busy, it will go faster.

(((hugs)))

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for responding.  Dave left yesterday and it was really just a crummy day all around. I work the same job as I did in the US as an account manager for a consulting firm. I just work remotely from home here.  

Saturday was a very hard day for me for some reason, I was crying all day to Dave about not knowing anyone and how I didn't know what I was going to do without him. That evening I went to church and as I was leaving the priest called me over and introduced me to an American family.  I cannot tell you how happy that made me. I never thought I would be brought to tears just by hearing an accent that's like mine. It turns out they're here on an exchange program and they will be here for the next two years.  I gave them my number and well jeez for the past few days it's been worse then waiting for any guy I've ever been on a date with to call.. She called me this morning and was telling me about the different places where I could take classes and a few different gyms.  She is going to find out if there are any support groups for the women of the Navy personnel here.  There's a support group for the Americans here however since my guy is not in the American Navy I can't participate.  But it looks like I've made a connection.

As I was sitting here all bummed out yesterday I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to sit here anymore have negative thoughts.  I'm going to be here for at least the next 8 years so I can either sit here and be miserable or put my best effort out.  I've not been out much since I've arrived so I'm going to go out this weekend and enjoy myself....

Well again I've rambled on too much, but thank you all for your advice and to listening to me.  I know that I can come here if I have anything to vent about.. Just a question do you find that everyone has the need to correct you?  It seems everytime I go out and I say something they have this urge to correct everything I say.  

Thanks again for all of your help.

Maureen

It is good to hear you have met a local American family...  hopefully they will be a big help during Dave's absence...

and LOL!...yes...it is customary (at least with me) to have people constantly correct you...  can not quite figure that one out...but all I have met does it...yet it is in a friendly fashion...

Tom (my fiance) was always doing it...and still does... I kinda went off on him earlier on in our relationship stating to him that he was starting to make me feel inferior to him...  He did not recognize what he was doing...apologized... and continued as before...LOL, I finally gave up and take it in stride now... (except, when he does it in public he gets a look from me)

shel

Oh thank you so much.. I thought I was the only one.. Dave has gotten better about correcting me because he could tell I was getting really pissed off about that.  

The first week I was here I called ASDA a grocery store and I was constantly being told it was a super market not a grocery store...And then this is the part that gets me I called a taxi a cab.. Jeez they know what I'm talking about so why are they being so damn petty.  It's an annoying trait but I've learned to let it go in one ear and out the other...

I've had a bit of that too. My hubby hasn't been bad about it, other than placenames. When buying a crib mobile I was snottily told it was a mobyle. I don't even remember the rest. I've read other posts about those who've tried not to speak at all, so as not to draw attention to themselves. I've done that as well at times. :-/ With a lot of things, you've got to learn to let it roll off or have a sense of humor about it.

At least we're understood well enough, accent-wise. When my hubby was in the US and we were getting our marriage license, the clerk asked for his middle name, he said a bit too quickly, "don't have one," and the clerk replied, "how do you spell that?"  

ROFL, that was a good one Leah!!!  LOL

Tom is the opposite...  for some reason when he is here in America he talks slower so as everyone can hear his pronunciation of the correct way (in his mind) that words should be said...  gotta love them...  LOL

So Maureen, as you can see it is quite the norm...lol

Corrections, ah yes! But I haven't complained a lot about them lately, so I figure I must be learning. Can't be because people around me have mellowed because, well the British, it is said, are notorious for correcting people!

Have you seen so many games shows on TV? Even regular shows have phone up quizzes in them! Pub quizzes, game shows...everyone competes! So, next time someone corrects you, imagine them with s little buzzer in their hand. bzzzzzzz..."Al-yoooo-MIN-eeee-ummm!"

However, in all fairness, I need to also point something out. Us Americans, especially us female Americans, will be the first to point out a better way to do something. So, when someone corrects you, stand proud in your glee that you can wash dishes far far better than they can.