Taking your Brit to the US

Obviously many of you have moved here to be with your Brit husband or wife. Based on your experience of adpating to uk life/culture how do you think your partner would cope if the roles were reversed and you now moved back to the US?

Which elements of US life/culture would they find easiest to embrace and adapt to and which would they find difficult - is there anything in particular you think they would really miss?

Finally, overall do you think they would find the move to the US easier or harder than you found the move to the uk?

As the Brit wife I can say i'd find it very hard, it would definitely depend where we moved to.  I absolutely couldn't live where my husband is from (TN).  People are way too "friendly" and i'm too much of an anti social.  I'd definitely need to find somewhere where the norm is for people to be more reserved.

The health system would do my head in too. 

I think i'd like how much cheaper mostly everything is and having a bigger house.

It's something we might think about in the future but the location would have to be researched carefully.

It's hard to say how my British bf would adapt socially. He doesn't have a huge circle of friends, but rather a few very close ones. And I know he'd miss them a lot. Also, his parents are getting older and his father isn't well, so he wouldn't want to be away from him over the next couple of years.

Culturally, I think he actually wouldn't mind it. He likes American television, music, film, etc., so it wouldn't be the worst fit in the world.

But financially, we'd be far worse off than we are here. Yes, housing is more affordable, but if we were ever to move to the US (never gonna happen, by the way), we'd go to New England. And housing in the parts of New England I like is not much cheaper than it is in old England. Plus, he'd never be able to earn as much as he does here.

He'd miss pork pies the most, I think. 

I took my Brit to the US almost 9 years ago and we recently moved back to the UK. (this is our second time living in the UK together) The biggest thing that my husband had a hard time getting used to was the live to work mentality (and having to work years to get decent holiday time) rather than work to live. He also despised the health care system due to insurance.

But he also liked a lot of aspects of American life. Big pay packets, cheap consumer goods, inexpensive houses and bigger houses at that, etc.

From my perspective, it was easier for my husband to adjust to American living than it was for me to adjust to UK living.

Well, I'm here... waiting for DH to join us. Our decision wasn't hard to make to move here as DH has a great job waiting for him. I think for now, DH sees it as an adventure as well as a way to further his CV. He's visited here enough to know there are many things he likes about American life. He also likes that we will be so close to my family and friends (a lucky turn of events). I think he'll HATE the traffic and driving here. He'll miss the powerful scenery of the Lake District and Devon where we've lived in the UK. But, he'll love the Chesapeake Bay area. He's also going to love the variety of ethnic food available and that we'll be able to eat out more. He'll be ambivalent about the chain stores and box stores as he thinks they're overtaking the UK, too.

As for whether we'll be here long term, who knows? I do know it would take the right job offer to take us back to the UK (i.e. probably the Durham area). But there are actually other countries on our radar, too.

My (British) husband was terribly homesick when he first moved to the US. But he stopped looking for the UK in the US, and is now more adjusted here than I am.  

Mostly missing pubs, though! And town centers. Oh, and good cheese. And the walkability factor. And foot paths.

My (British) husband was terribly homesick when he first moved to the US. But he stopped looking for the UK in the US, and is now more adjusted here than I am.  

Mostly missing pubs, though! And town centers. Oh, and good cheese. And the walkability factor. And foot paths.

Yeah, DH is going to be collecting good parks/trails, good cheese and good sausages. Where we are living now, we CAN walk to quite a bit. But we consider ourselves pretty lucky with that.

My DH loves loves loves America. He's always talking about some day getting a second home somewhere in America.

I think he is more excited about our two week trip coming up at the end of this month to Indiana than I am! All I hear about is "We can go to Longhorn Steak house, and Ruths Chris, and O'Charleys, and...." lol

I think the only thing he would miss about England is GOOD Indian food. He seems to moan about everything else

But as he is a pilot...theres no way he would be anywhere near as successful in the US as he is here. There just isnt a "safe" airline in the US at the moment. So...if we moved, he would probably make a very poor living for us during these times.

i think the 'not looking for the UK in the US is such good advice. I imagine the need to drive rather than walk  must be one of the biggest differences to get used to on a daily basis.
One thing I would like is the idea of possibly having a bigger house for my money and more space etc. Would i miss being able to take the dog for a walk down the village and pop into to my local for a quick pint though 

pork pies not a major issue for me 

My DH adapted extremely well to living in the US, I think. Although he does miss a lot of the things that some people have mentioned (family, pork pies....especially pork pies! great Indian food, being able to WALK!). I think the main thing was that he was able to come here with no mental baggage - he knows the US is not the UK and he just tried to find things he likes, which wasn't all that hard.

I almost think sometimes that I am not as well adapted to living in the US as he is, to be honest! I can't wait till we move to the UK although I know that it won't be all roses and I will have to get used to a lot. I think the main thing I will find extremely difficult is not having my friends around - DH didn't have a very close knit circle of friends, and he already knew my friends very well from visits - when we move in 2010, it will likely not be to Cambridge (where DH has friends at the moment) but to somewhere in the North. We will have to make new friends I guess! At least we will have some family nearby. 

It's a non-issue for us, because there's NO way we'd ever move to the US.  We have young children, and the healthcare system alone is enough to make it a no go.

We moved back 13 months ago and my Brit husband (who once said "it wouldn't be his first choice") absolutely loves it! We are on the east coast, living in the city yet a very green, leafy area and we are close to everything by foot (shopping, restaurants, cinema, etc).

He really likes the friendliness of people and the general laid back way of life. His salary is double (meaning "beans" that you take home and how far it goes....don't want to compare pounds to dollars) and he has the same amount of time off as he did in the UK and I do as well. As for healthcare, we have a great doctor unlike the terrible GP practice that we had in the UK. He still can't get over the convenience of things and how cheap things are compared to the UK. We bought a lovely house with ease (25 days from offer to moving in)....that he truly couldn't get his head around... Frequent sunshine in the winter was also a surprise to him.

He does miss the countryside a lot (me too) and his family and friends but shockingly he said to me a few months ago "I miss my country but I don't think I could live there again". We went back over the summer and are going again this month for his parents 50th wedding anniversary party so that's a good thing for him since I know he misses his family.

One thing that he really dislikes are US drivers and I agree 100%. I was gone for 4.5 yrs and when I came back I couldn't get over how careless drivers are especially on the highways. Brits definitely drive better, they are much more predicable and disciplined behind the wheel!  

As for Indian food, we are lucky that we have a few good restaurants near by and even a place that delivers excellent food.

All in all, life is good! He is very happy over here and I could never make the move back. 

Well, if I could get my DH's head out of the clouds and that belief that everything is better in America (what he means is that he likes the idea of small town life in Wisconsin better than city life in Birmingham), I think he'd adjust fairly well.

He's a small town boy at heart.  Although I grew up rurally, I'd never live in any town with a population of less than 50,000 - but not more than 100,000 - that's about the right size for me (bigger than I grew up with, smaller than just about anywhere he's ever lived).  He loves to fish and be in the outdoors, so it would probably be a good fit for him.  He prefers to drive, while I'm happy walking or using public transport, so he'd be ok with that.  The biggest thing for him, though, is that he'd lose a lot of the convenience of city life by moving to the small town.  No curry houses in rural Wisconsin!  Or takeaways of the kind he really likes...

Job-wise, he'd probably do better than I will - he's a nurse, I'm nearly at the paralegal stage, but I enjoy working in the immigration field (although I'm not an advisor!) - precious few jobs like that available in rural Wisconsin!  He'd probably adjust much better than I would...

I imagine the need to drive rather than walk must be one of the biggest differences to get used to on a daily basis.

This is a huge deal-breaker for my DH - one of the things that he absolutely loathes about being in the US...all the time we've spent sitting in a car, driving places, even just being on holiday there.  There are things that he likes about the US (mostly me - lol!  but I'm an import now ), and like expat_in_scotland, I don't foresee us ever living back there.

He'd miss public footpaths, Black Sheep & Timothy Taylor Landlord beer, cheese - oh geez...lots of things, especially me, because I'm staying here.  I think the adjustment for him to go there would have been harder, because he's well situated in his career here & he's much more shy than me.

Hey Chary, In your post you never mention Cornish cream? Are you tired of it or sumit?

I think many blokes like the US but after a few years their minds will turn to home.