Why am I bothered by anti-American sentiments?

I honestly try not to take general comments personally.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when people personalize comments despite context.  Seriously -  I have had many conversations with myself over it through the years. 

I'm not a flag waver and don't have a problem with someone bringing up actual annoying or appaling qualities that are/might be attributed to the US through the actions of individuals or the US goverment.  Whatever.  If they aren't talking about me personally, why take it personally?  People generalize.  That's how life is.

So our guest lecturer today (who surely does not remember that I am an American) just got back from 5 weeks in Pasadena, CA.  She was obviously excited about her experience and quite charmed by the area - full of anecdotes and stories how perfect the weather is in So Cal and about life and people in the USA, - like "all Americans think we live in picturesque little cottages" and "all Americans take coffee breaks every hour", etc.  I was thinking in my head "not ALL Amercians" but understood that she was just excited and making generalizations on a limited experience as one does.

She was describing the Antebellum houses (  ) in the area, (exact phrase "Gone with the Wind houses") and made the statement that the actual "Gone with the Wind house was torn down" followed by "just like the Americans.  No appreciation for culture".  Quickly a guy in class offered up "they have no culture!"   Everybody laughs.  Except the woman sitting next to me who gives me the stink eye and says "aren't your going to defend yourself?"

All I could say was "obviously they are not talking about me."  But I was floored and I was really really really pissed.  Now I'm very bothered about the fact it pisses me off and I'm trying to deal with it so I can stop fuming.

They're just taking the piss.  They are generalizing.  Hey, at least I wasn't accused of sheep shagging  .  They are all nice people who made statements that are short sighted. 

Number one, Hello, Gone with the Wind.  Georgia!?! Plantations.  African people in American servitude.  Not Pasadena, CA.  Also, if it was built for the movie (ie. a set), no big shock if it gets torn down.  Not exactly culture. 

Second.  Maybe it doesn't rain much in So Cal, and yes it is a desert - but when you cram it full of people who use a billion of gallons of water to take showers, wash cars and try to grow grass, you are seriously weighing down one side of the ecological balance to the detriment of the other.  Rain is good.  Rain is essential.  Don't forget the importance of rain just because you were born and raised in the UK.  Is it 'perfect' that one area sucks the life out of another because a million people want to live there?

Finally - the US is a country of individuals.  We are not a collective.  Joe Average American is no less ignorant of the world outside our borders than the average UKer.  We are not the squirrel-eating, cousin-loving, shotgun having morons you see in the movies.  We have culture coming out the ass - thank you very much.  Midwest, New Orleans, Texas, New England, So Cal, Mid Cal, No Cal, Pacific NW, Frontier, South, New York,...  On top of that, we have people from all over the globe bringing their cultures, blending and remaining distinct in different proportions.  Different people sharing a common and distinct heritage.  Just because it doesn't look like your culture, doesn't mean it's not culture.  *sshole.

Sorry.  Maybe I just had to rant.  But I really want to know what other people think is actually the root of the irritation when it comes to such short sighted remarks.  Am I ever going to be able to become immune or is it just human nature to react to these kinds of slights?
   

 

You can add to that just because there weren't white people there doesn't mean there weren't people who had languages and cities.    

Now, don't you wish you would have said all that to her face!?? Man, that would have felt good.... I was watching a cooking show once and they were making 'Maryland Chicken'. I lived in Maryland a long time and never saw anything like this. It was battered and fried because, 'That's how they do it in America'.  I'm still kicking myself for not writing to the show and defending that comment.

You have pride in your country and who you are. There's nothing wrong with that. I think it's okay to get miffed. Because, no she wasn't saying 'Hollyberry wants to tear down all antebellum homes in So Cal', but she was implying that you would if you had the chance. I think you may find in time that you will start sticking up for yourself in those situations, mainly because it ticks you off so bad. Even if you just say, 'hold on a second, I kind of resent that!' or something of the like. I think when I first moved here I would have been a bit timid about it, but now I will definitely defend myself.

Don't beat yourself up over it. It's okay to be proud of America.

Good lord! I find it hard to be offended by such a staggering display of ignorance.

It's along the lines of statements like, "I understand it's very hot in America." Really, unless you want to spend the rest of your life explaining, all you can do is chirp, "yes! Yes it is".

To be honest, after hearing about the ignorance and insularity of Americans all these years, it's a sort of relief to meet deeply ignorant and insular Brits, isn't it?

Am I ever going to be able to become immune or is it just human nature to react to these kinds of slights?

I hear disparaging remarks at work about Americans and the behaviour of Americans (in a work context) nearly every day.  I can't recall ever having been truly offended by generalised remarks, as they are not personal to me.  

I have been offended only once at work when someone lashed out at me personally and made a reference to my being American in association with her perception I had made an etiquette error (not standing up to shake her hand when she walked into the room).  It was the rude way in which she called me out on it that was offensive, indicating I had made the faux pas because I was American.  She could have made a less caustic remark that I might have taken on board more positively for the future without enduring the hurt feelings that I felt several weeks afterward.

ANYWAY - the point is that if you take general comments personally, you'll be offended, but if you either let them roll off your back as not directed at you OR if you can potentially see the point they are making (often people do make relevant comments about "Americans" that I find interesting and enlightening) then they probably won't bother you.

When I read Hollyberry I thought the people were mocking themselves and realizing what they were saying was dumb. Sort of like Americans talking about the "English" and stereotyping.

Good lord! I find it hard to be offended by such a staggering display of ignorance.

It's along the lines of statements like, "I understand it's very hot in America." Really, unless you want to spend the rest of your life explaining, all you can do is chirp, "yes! Yes it is".

To be honest, after hearing about the ignorance and insularity of Americans all these years, it's a sort of relief to meet deeply ignorant and insular Brits, isn't it?

Like the woman who asked me if I knew who Charles Dickens was when she was pointing out the church he was married in.  I thought of a few ways of answering her before just nodded and said, "Yes, I believe I've heard of him."  When I can afford to be sarcy nothing ever pops into my mind, but when I can't or don't want to offend, I think of a million things.

 

It's not just worth the effort sometimes.  You're not going to change peoples' minds who don't want them changed anyway.

It's not just worth the effort sometimes.  You're not going to change peoples' minds who don't want them changed anyway.

So true.

Like the woman who asked me if I knew who Charles Dickens was when she was pointing out the church he was married in.

I would have said, "He's a rock singer, isn't he?".

Many British people have no idea who CD was. Joke: A father overhears his son say "bastard" to his playmate, and scolds him for it. "Charles Dickens uses that word, Dad", says the boy. "Well, don't bloody play with him!" shouts the father.

Thanks folks.  It made a big difference to be able to get it off my chest.

Yep b_more, I do wish I could have done better than look shocked and uncomfortable       

Guess it goes to show that just because a person has advanced degrees and knows a lot about certain subjects, doesn't mean they know jack sh*t about other things.

I agree that there is no sense in letting it bother me any further.     smiley exclamation point
 

...and if it comes up again, you can let them know that the "Gone With the Wind" house never actually *existed*. Interiors were shot in film sets, and exterior shots were just a painted backdrop.

From the font of useless information, my brain.

Hollyberry, I'm thankful this type of stuff doesn't happen to me very often because I'm irritated by it.  And when people make judgemental generalizations sometimes I do take it personally.

I'm not so good at coming up with clever replies, but here are some suggestions that were made to me once:

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=37192.0

Try not to take it personally. Just the other day, a very professional business man in a suit became giddy as a school kid when I told him I was from Texas and started asking me (yes, he was serious, not taking the piss!) about cowboys and ranches and all sorts of things.  It was really cute, actually. He told me it was his life-long dream to take a dude ranch holiday. There's an old guy at work here who always impersonates Mae West when he sees me, and I don't have the heart to tell him I barely know who she is since I wasn't born until 1976. I know the comments they were making in your class were far more insulting than those examples, but try to look at them in the same way. There are Americans who probably believe everyone in England either has a butler or is a butler. Everyone is ignorant of something, and people often say things without thinking first. I agree with all the points you made, though, and I hope it made you feel better to get it off your chest! I love telling people off in hindsight, thinking of all the things I wish I had said, but usually realizing it was better that I kept my mouth shut afterall. 

To be honest, after hearing about the ignorance and insularity of Americans all these years, it's a sort of relief to meet deeply ignorant and insular Brits, isn't it?

YES.  I have to agree with this.  One acquaintance of DH's just learned the other day that Seattle isn't in Canada, and therefore, I'm not a Canadian as she had always thought.  As ridiculous as it may sound, I felt a bit vindicated.  I wanted to dance around and shout, "SEE?!  Americans aren't the only ones who make occasional geography mistakes!"  But instead I just politely chuckled and said, "no, we're close to Canada, but not quite in it!"

I love telling people off in hindsight, thinking of all the things I wish I had said, but usually realizing it was better that I kept my mouth shut afterall.� 

   oooh yea