Why Aren't Thin People Fat?

I am a fidgeter, and it doesn't make me skinny. 

But ... it's all about quantity. I don't get full. No matter how slowly I eat (which is what all the books tell you to do), there's no "stop eating" mechanism in my brain. I'm always hungry. My stomach rumbles and growls nearly all the time. For me to lose weight, I have to be hungry 24/7. And I don't like being hungry. So, to me, that's the difference between my brain and a thin person's. Something in their brain tells them when they're full - and that's missing in me.

YES.  THIS. 

I eat healthy food.  With the exception of Chick-Fil-A, I prefer home-cooked, healthy fare to fast food of any kind.  I eat food that's high in fiber and designed to fill me up, I eat small, frequent meals - and yet, I'm always, ALWAYS hungry. 

YES.  THIS. 

I eat healthy food.  With the exception of Chick-Fil-A, I prefer home-cooked, healthy fare to fast food of any kind.  I eat food that's high in fiber and designed to fill me up, I eat small, frequent meals - and yet, I'm always, ALWAYS hungry. 

I feel the same way. I sometimes find if I drink a lot of water it helps keep me full longer, but that doesn't always work either. And I would KILL for a Chick-Fil-A right now... why is it not here in the UK??? 

I'd like to think that you're right, but I'm not sure I believe it.  I think there's been a sea change in the way women's bodies are viewed, and I don't know what it would take to shift the perspective back again.  I blame the Duchess of Windsor; wasn't it she who said that you can never be too rich or too thin? 

Wrong on both counts, sister!

Hated her.

I prefer the words of Marilyn Monroe: "I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful."

I just finished reading Lark Rise to Candleford, set in the late-1800s. It's lovely how thin women are described as "miserable" and assumed to be sickly and bad-tempered! 

Hated her.

I dunno. I think I'd like to try the "too rich" part for size and see how it fits first, before judging.

Although it would certainly benefit me personally if the curvy came back in style, I really love it if looks were de-emphathized (sp?) altogether. I realize this is a bit of "lions with the lambs" thinking, but a girl can dream.

I eat food that's high in fiber and designed to fill me up, I eat small, frequent meals - and yet, I'm always, ALWAYS hungry. 

Pretty much my daily woes!

I'm a HUGE fidgeter and it doesn't do me any good .

It's lovely how thin women are described as "miserable" and assumed to be sickly and bad-tempered! 

And if you have ever seen one of those Top Model shows, then the author's characterization might be proven! Most of those girls are so catty, b*tchy, and either miserable with themselves or the way they look or way too egotistical to live in the real world. It's kind of sad. Of course, not all thin women are like that. But I think we are still allowed to be envious of how some of them can eat chocolate all day and never gain a pound!

I know this is a digression from the main topic, but I was wondering if and how your parents influenced your relationship with food?

I know this is a digression from the main topic, but I was wondering if and how your parents influenced your relationship with food?

Interesting. My parents certainly taught me to appreciate good food. My father, in particular, is a real gastronome (my mother was more into good home-cooking), and was and still is an officer of a Parisian gastronomic society. We never had fast food or pre-packed stuff if my mother could help it. I was taken out to proper restaurants from a really young age and taught what was good cooking and what was rubbish. I learned to recognise quality ingredients, wine, etc.

So ... yeah ... it's all their fault! Thanks, Mort! 

I know this is a digression from the main topic, but I was wondering if and how your parents influenced your relationship with food?

Both my parents were normal sized growing up as were my siblings.  I was the only one that was chubby despite not eating more than anyone else.  I'd say they taught us healthy attitudes towards food, my dad is very particular about fresh ingredients (he's Italian) and my mother made sure never to deprive us or make food the enemy.  Some of my friends had some major food hang ups because their mothers were constantly on diets or were told they they would get fat if they ate cake or whatever.  I'm glad to say I never had that.

I know this is a digression from the main topic, but I was wondering if and how your parents influenced your relationship with food?

My parents didn't pay much attention to me, they would just hand me a bag of Doritos and let me have my way. I would usually eat the whole bag. My father let me drink so many sodas in one day that I had to be rushed to the emergency room with a bladder infection. My grandmother spoiled me and let me have whatever I wanted, and she often kept a case of soda and a whole CASE of Butterfinger bars in the kitchen, which I accessed freely. Very freely. I can remember eating an entire large pizza by myself at the age of 9. It's a wonder I don't have more issues with my weight than I do!

Strangely, I fell in love with Whole Foods in high school when I went with a neighbor, and I started just eating from the salad bar when I went out with my family. I think it was sort of revulsion from the junk my family allowed me to eat. I still struggle with the odd craving for chips and salsa, fries, chocolate, cookies, and all sorts of bread, but I have learned to deal with it a bit better. I was doing well until I moved here and then there were too many new things to try, so I had to try them all. Now I think I am over that and ready to eat healthier again, and so far it's been good. I just wish DH didn't hate wheat and whole grains so much, I buy whole wheat pittas and things for myself, but the bread, pasta, and rice is a bit of an issue, as I don't want to make two types every time! 

I know this is a digression from the main topic, but I was wondering if and how your parents influenced your relationship with food?

All of my family are petite/normal weight and we've always eaten pretty healthily. My mum comes from a very healthy family - she grew up eating All Bran for breakfast, would share a small chocolate bar with her 2 sisters once a week and could make her Easter chocolate last for a good two months! As a result, when she was doing all the cooking, we would eat healthy food in small portions - no white bread, no Coke or fizzy drinks, no sweets or chocolate except on Saturdays, no sugary cereals except in the school holidays, no chocolate or E-numbers for me (apparently they made me hyper!), no crisps, no fast food or takeaways etc.

My dad on the other hand has a major sweet tooth and grew up eating lots of stodgy food (although somehow has managed to go his whole life staying relatively thin - he's now over 50 and still only weighs about 9.5 stone!) - he loves his biscuits and sugary foods. My mum went back to work and became the main breadwinner in the 90's, so Dad was in charge of the house and gradually things like cake bars, biscuits, white bread and Coke made their way into our kitchen. However, we still eat pretty healthy food - roast dinner on Sundays which lasts through until Tuesday, pasta dishes on Wed and Thurs, fish or curry on Friday and spag bol or frozen pizza with salad on Saturday. Still no takeaways or fast food though unless we're out of town for the weekend or something.

My family is also very sporty which I think has kept us at basically steady weights, along with our relatively healthy diet - when we were growing up we all had swimming lessons, played sports at school and I attended ballet classes. Now, my parents play tennis three times a week and they both go jogging almost every day. I grew up dancing, attending up to 6 hours of classes a week until I was 18; the elder of my younger brothers is a national gymnast and the younger is a county badminton player.

These days I don't eat as healthily as I should do - I definitely need more vegetables in my diet and my main downfall is chocolate (I could probably eat a whole box of chocolates in one sitting  ) - but my parents have brought me up with a good diet and healthy food, so now it's only my own laziness about cooking that prevents me from eating properly  .

I know this is a digression from the main topic, but I was wondering if and how your parents influenced your relationship with food?

I remember back when I was trying to seriously lose weight the first time, I saw a show on fat kids.  It was before a lot of media coverage of obesity was common.  While watching the show I thought, "Hey, I wish I could go back and do it all over again and not become fat to begin with!"  But then I had this revelation that I wasn't the one controlling my food intake until well after I was already fat.  I know I ate outside of meals (this was extremely frowned upon), but the majority of my calories were from what we ate at meals. My mom (heavy and not my birth mother so I didn't get her genes) dished it out, and we were expected to 'clean our plates'.  I don't think I even snacked that much outside of meals until after I was already carrying quite a bit of weight in my abdomen.

We rarely had treats.  Sunday dinners were the only time we regularly had dessert, and it was always something like chocolate cake (I can't eat most American cake made from a box to this day because of it).  We ate meat, starch, and a veg most nights for supper.  Never used real butter or whole milk.  We didn't have the really sugary cereals for breakfast, but things like plain Cheerios, Raisin Bran, or Corn Flakes.  Or we could have toast with fake butter spread.  We did eat a lot of starch.  But even more than anything, we ate portions that were just too big.

My mom had this weird denial/reward thing going on with food where she'd give us sweets if we did something huge for her or she'd say that she wasn't going to buy anything special for dinner because we hadn't done enough for her.  I think this was tied into her own food issues.  I don't remember anyone comforting me with food, except for one time I was reminded of when I found one of my childhood diaries. We had a small fire when I was around 11 or 12.  The entry went something like, "We had a fire today.  It was scary to hear the fire whistle and sirens go off and know it was for us.  After the firemen left, we had pizza.  I am not glad for the fire, but I am glad for the pizza."

I really think it was about portion size and being raised by someone who has food issues and has never addressed them herself.  We ate what at the time was considered healthy food, just too much of it.

Unfortunately, my parents did nothing to curb  and pretty much encouraged my already overactive sweet tooth- I'm okay with eating moderate portions of regular food, but I am constantly, constantly snacking on sweet stuff (usually cakes, cookies, or chocolate) and if I gain weight, that's usually why

Also, for a long time I had an extreme hatred of almost all vegetables- I don't know where that came from, but after a while my parents recognised that they couldn't make me eat vegetables and gave up trying.  I think that's okay though, because they did what they could.  Interestingly, about a year ago I started eating vegetables in larger quantities when I learned to cook and now have more of an appreciation for them- I still have to choke down a salad, but simple side dishes of familiar veggies are no problem now which is a huge deal for me.

we were expected to 'clean our plates'

If I were a parent and chose one thing to do different than my parents, this would be it. My mom and grandmother did this too (including the "kids starving in [pick a locale]") and looking back on it, I don't think this is the best way.