Dealing with children

So I've got a relatively strange situation, and I'm not sure how to address it.  I think my wife and I are the only Americans in our neighborhood, which doesn't bother us.  Our neighbors themselves are nice and friendly to us.  However, there are a few neighborhood children who like to play outside....and harass us.  It's primarily two boys who think they're cool and we've scolded them as much as we could with our resources.  For a few nights (a while ago), the two boys kept beating on our living room window and throwing their soccer ball at it and running.  After a few confrontations on it, I took their ball (after all, they claimed it wasn't theirs).  They immediately began chasing after calling me names that I'm more accustomed to in poor neighborhoods in the US than what I'd expect from anyone in the UK.  I've threatened to call the police on them and that got them to stop for a few days.  If I knew where these kids lived, I would go to their parents and tell them to deal with their children or let me do it.  But, how do I deal with these brats without putting myself in a worse situation?

Did you try asking others in your neighborhood who the kids might belong to? Maybe they'll know.

This might sound totally out of left field, but it worked for us... try talking to them. When you see them outside, make a point of going out and engaging them in a conversation; ask their names and maybe talk about where you are from.

Kids try to get attention in a lot of strange and sometimes irritating ways. When they know they are irritating you they are getting attention, negative attention, but at least attention. If you take a few minutes to talk to them (even if you think they are total brats!) you will disarm them and be giving them positive attention.

Did you try asking others in your neighborhood who the kids might belong to? Maybe they'll know.

We planned on doing this the next they're out.  However, they like to run and hide whenever we come outside (and play ding dong ditch).

Kids try to get attention in a lot of strange and sometimes irritating ways. When they know they are irritating you they are getting attention, negative attention, but at least attention. If you take a few minutes to talk to them (even if you think they are total brats!) you will disarm them and be giving them positive attention.

The opposite was true for us.  When we first arrived, we spoke to the kids and played a little bit with them when we first arrived.  They were happy with us then, but now we're the evil Americans     We've asked them to stop throwing balls at our windows and screaming obscenities at us, but that only works for a little bit.  If they had come and asked us to play (or some kind of positive attention) instead of demanding this negative attention (which I have gotten pretty good at completely ignoring them....even with the windows open), we'd been happy to give them attention.  Some of the little girls around here knock and ask to play (apparently they like me making faces at them through the window ), and we're honest with them (i.e. we play with them or say that we're busy for now but to come back later).  It's just these two boys who seem to only want to be punks that I'm annoyed with--especially since I work from home.

I hope I'm wrong (for your sake), but i think you'll probably find that talking to the brats' parents will do no good whatsoever.  The parents are likely to be just as bad.

I hope I'm wrong (for your sake), but i think you'll probably find that talking to the brats' parents will do no good whatsoever.  The parents are likely to be just as bad.

I agree.

I'd move to a more urban, student-y area, tbh.

I agree.

I'd move to a more urban, student-y area, tbh.

Sorry, but thats not really a helpful suggestion.  One generally cannot just "pick up and move" and would you seriously move because some kids are bothering you?

Ugh, I feel like I could write a book on this stuff. 

Did you try asking others in your neighborhood who the kids might belong to? Maybe they'll know.

This worked somewhat with us.  The (few) troublemakers we've been able to identify we've found out who they were either from our neighbor (the only one that talks to us lol) and from the guy who works in the mobile shop on our estate.

I hope I'm wrong (for your sake), but i think you'll probably find that talking to the brats' parents will do no good whatsoever.  The parents are likely to be just as bad.

This is my biggest bone of contention by a mile.  I've had doors slammed in my face, been told to eff off, been accused of lying to start problems because their precious angel was in the house all night, and the list goes on.  Not all parents are like that, but the majority of the ones I've had to approach in my own circumstance are just as pukey as the kids. 

The opposite was true for us.

Same here.  When we first moved into this house, we tried to be friendly with the kids. Saying hi if we saw them out in the street and that sort of thing. If they were hanging out on our front wall and getting too loud, we would just politely ask them to keep the noise down since we had a little one asleep, we didn't even ask them to move on somewhere else.  We got called all sorts of names for our trouble.

Try finding out if there is a residents association in yout neighborhood.  Failing all else, calling the police may be your only option, if for nothing else than to show them you mean business.  Hopefully the police in your area are more responsive than the police are here in Northern Ireland lol.

would you seriously move because some kids are bothering you?

Not saying this is the case with the OP, but things can get so bad where moving is the only realistic option.  Definitely not fair, but it's a reality.  I can't afford to at the moment, but as soon as DH and I are financially able to move, we are going to, and it is down to a bunch of kids driving us out of here.

The children are tresspassing for a start on private property, if they put your windows through who will be paying to replace them? I would first of all try at least to find out were they live and talk if at all possible to the kids parents they may be upset at their childrens behaviour (we would be horrified if it were our boys) then talk to the police, make a note of when the incidents occur so you can give specific dates and times, and if you could get a security camera or something that would be extra proof, but you can not take pictures of children, you can get into trouble for that, even though its only to show the police who they are they do not like it. (You get a bit sick of discribing the kids and then they come back and say they can not find them or the kids have said its not them).

I would just ignore them and if you have a gate and fence around the garden you can lock it and maybe plant roses around they are not great to fall into but they are ok to use.

Good luck some kids are a nightmare, but its a catch 22 your damend if you don't and if you do, parents and adults today have no rights and parents are condemend no matter what they do.

Its the same were we live to but its just kids being vile and bullying.

Please be careful as in todays society you just do not know what some of these children are capable of and I would say really call the police and let them deal with it its possibly safer now.

Sonya and Indy

Sorry, but thats not really a helpful suggestion.  One generally cannot just "pick up and move" and would you seriously move because some kids are bothering you?

Crikey... can she have her head back, please? 

I would, and have, moved house because of neighbours/kids.  It's particularly charming when they start shooting your windows with BB guns all because you asked them not to sit on top of your wheelie bin.

This is obviously in jest, so please don't jump on me but..

Front lawn + sprinklers + remote control + popcorn = solution to your problem + entertainment.

i would inform your local police authority.  We had a bunch of boys jumping over the wall and using our trampoline.  After the first time I caught them they started kicking a ball over the back garden wall and then would come around to the front and ring the bell and ask for it back, this was just to see if we were home.  This happened at a time when the local bobby was doing a door-to-door to introduce himself and see if we had any problems.  I told him about this group, he said he thought he knew who they were and we have never seen them since.

Talking to the parents is a gamble you don't know what you will encounter, there are some really nasty people out there but there are also a lot of people who would be horrified to find their children were doing that.

Good luck, let us know what you do.

impleri, out of curiousity - where in Glasgow do you live?

I think you should try and reason with the kids then perhaps to the parents.
Tread lightly when you talk to the parents because they will either be horrified their kids are doing it or horrified that you would think such a thing of their kids.
If you don't get the results you need, the next move would be to get some evidence on camera and approach the police.  It sounds way serious but a broken window on a cold night is not fun for anyone.
Good luck!

Sorry, but thats not really a helpful suggestion.  One generally cannot just "pick up and move" and would you seriously move because some kids are bothering you?

Well, I didn't realise comments from the peanut gallery were fair game for anything other than PM, Teacher.  Mea culpa. 

And yes, 'one' can pick up and move whenever one's tenancy agreement is over.

I've moved many times because of anti-social behaviour and had problems similar to Q-G when it comes to 'some kids'.  That's why I posted as I did. 

Whether or not you particularly found that helpful is a bit beside the point.