Marrying an American girl?

I was having an interesting conversation with the manager of a hotel in San francisco about the relative benefits of life in the UK and US.

He expressed an interest in living in the UK and I expressed an interest in living in the US.
I did comment that i thought the US immigration system was cumbersome and skewed toward preventing UK citizens moving to the US.

He replied that  i should do what a lot of people do. Find a nice American girl and marry her !

Presumably if you marry an American citizen ,you can get some kind of visa that will allow you to live in the US but what about working? also what about eventual permanent residency and citizenship?

What about if you get divorced? Will you be automatically in danger of deportation?

All views and thoughts welcome !

Did anyone actively seek a UK partner with a view to living in the UK or did you have rose tinted specs about life in the UK?

Hang on...Have we not been here before? where you asked out most of this forum for dates? 

Are you considering marrying for a visa?  If thats the case..get a large lump sum of cash together and I am sure someone will oblige 

Hang on...Have we not been here before? where you asked out most of this forum for dates? 

Are you considering marrying for a visa?  If thats the case..get a large lump sum of cash together and I am sure someone will oblige 

Hmmm..yes,i do seem to recall exploring this before although i have reworded it slighlty !

My you do have a good memory.

Whilst i do have a reasonable job and a fair bit of money,i feel my natural good looks,intelligence,charms and natural loving nature will win the day..

Maybe you should advertise yourself in Classifieds section 

My you do have a good memory.

Yes I do...its extremely good...I can remember back to things in great detail from when I was a baby....my memory has been the downfall of many a man! lol

This thread reminds me of an elderly South African woman I met during one of my weekend ventures in the UK (back in the days when I had the energy to get out and explore).  She was in the UK visiting her daughter, and having met a few foreigners (like myself) who were resident in the UK, she asked "Doesn't anyone live in their own country anymore?"

I didn't set out to marry someone from a particular country (in fact, I never would have predicted I'd be married to an Aussie, but so I am).  I think when people strive a bit less and just let life happen as it may a bit more, the "right" thing (for them) will just happen.

Love, peace, and chicken grease.

Well said, LBA.

This thread reminds me of an elderly South African woman I met during one of my weekend ventures in the UK (back in the days when I had the energy to get out and explore).  She was in the UK visiting her daughter, and having met a few foreigners (like myself) who were resident in the UK, she asked "Doesn't anyone live in their own country anymore?"

I didn't set out to marry someone from a particular country (in fact, I never would have predicted I'd be married to an Aussie, but so I am).  I think when people strive a bit less and just let life happen as it may a bit more, the "right" thing (for them) will just happen.

Love, peace, and chicken grease.

Mmm...but i think being involved with a "foreigner" would be so much more interesting. A life full of celebrating and exploring the differences.

Mmm...but i think being involved with a "foreigner" would be so much more interesting. A life full of celebrating and exploring the differences.

Uh, yes, but I am married to a "foreigner" as per my quote that you just quoted:
[quote by Me]I didn't set out to marry someone from a particular country (in fact, I never would have predicted I'd be married to an Aussie, but so I am).[/quote]

For clarity, an Aussie = an Australian.  I am a US citizen (Texan, to be exact) and my husband is Australian.

I wouldn't say we spend our lives "celebrating and exploring the differences" - we're just another boring old married couple.  In fact, it's what we have in common that bonds us together.

As I said originally, I didn't set out to marry an Australian, or indeed anyone from a particular country, that's just how things worked out.

Be careful! remember the cautionary tale of the Frenchman who fell madly for an English girl - at least in part - because of the charming way she mangled his language, married her, whisked her off to Paris, following which - oh dear! - she adapted so well that within five years she was just like all the parisiennes that he knew.

Mmm...but i think being involved with a "foreigner" would be so much more interesting. A life full of celebrating and exploring the differences.

It can also be full of unpleasant surprises too, such as finding out too late that in some cultures it's normal to put on a 'public' face (or dating face), but that life behind doors (once married) can be a completely different experience (been there, done that--NEVER again).

I've found that it's much better to concentrate on the things that really matter in the long term--outlook on life, shared values, interests, character, compatability, etc.. My feeling is that life is full of ups and downs, and I'd rather share it all with my best friend. I never set out to enter into a serious relationship with someone who lives 6000 miles away, but we've found that we're soulmates, so here I am. It wouldn't have mattered to me that he's British (although I DO love his very English ways), I just love him for the man he is.

Be careful! remember the cautionary tale of the Frenchman who fell madly for an English girl - at least in part - because of the charming way she mangled his language, married her, whisked her off to Paris, following which - oh dear! - she adapted so well that within five years she was just like all the Parisiennes that he knew.

Good story.

It reminds me of the concept of falling in love with the idea of someone, rather than an actual someone.  Dangerous stuff indeed.

It reminds me of the concept of falling in love with the idea of someone, rather than an actual someone.  Dangerous stuff indeed.

... [stand by for flames!] That is more or less why I am sceptical about internet dating & people claiming to be "in love" with somebody they have never met.

... [stand by for flames!] That is more or less why I am sceptical about internet dating & people claiming to be "in love" with somebody they have never met.

Quite a few people on here have done it that way tho Contrex, and are very happily married!

One could look at the internet as a way of merely being introduced to someone that you might not otherwise have the opportunity to meet in person without said introduction.

It can be similar to conducting a job search via the web - which is now considered perfectly acceptable - and much more efficient than the old fashioned way of sending letters to companies in a more or less scattergun/fingers crossed/let's hope they happen to have a vacancy that suits my skills/experience/salary requirements/availability, etc. type of approach. 

The particular analogy I'm thinking of here is that it can be better to sort out one's values, goals, preferences, etc., and to narrow the search in a sensible fashion (perhaps using the web as a means to find a suitable partner) as opposed to hoping to get lucky and randomly find Mr/Ms Right at a place such as a singles bar or a nightclub.

Of course there are many ways that internet dating works, and I don't see anything wrong with keeping a healthy sense of scepticism about it - whilst recognising that true love can sometimes be found that way.

Of course there are many ways that internet dating works, and I don't see anything wrong with keeping a healthy sense of scepticism about it - whilst recognising that true love can sometimes be found that way.

I think that's the nub of it - a healthy sense of scepticism, no more, no less.