Cute or Bad Proposals?

Honestly, I'd perfer a visa over a ring.  We'll bother with the ring after all the visa expenses are sorted.  Anniversary ring sounds good to me. There is that 18 pound one at M&S that I could flash around until then! 

But for your viewing pleasure here she is: http://www.london-victorian-ring.com/3495_princess_asscher_diamond.htm

Oh, that is LOVELY!

Honestly, I'd perfer a visa over a ring.  We'll bother with the ring after all the visa expenses are sorted.  Anniversary ring sounds good to me. There is that 18 pound one at M&S that I could flash around until then! 

But for your viewing pleasure here she is: http://www.london-victorian-ring.com/3495_princess_asscher_diamond.htm

That's really pretty! Does your DF know that you'd be happy with the M&S ring for now?

Yes, he does. But his friends are giving him a hard time that he hasn't given me a ring and I think hes too "proud" to buy an M&S ring. He's not as easy to please as I am!   

I think we need to have an actual conversation about it so that he doesnt feel pressured to buy THE ring (which I think he does).  I'll bring it up to him again and make sure he isnt feeling that way and maybe plant the idea of this style of ring for the future.  We have the rest of our lives, right? 

btw, sorry to hijack this post - it was going so well before I came around!

I like the ring, Carey!! Simple and elegant. Looks similar to the one my mom has actually.

Midnight, it's not silly at all. I totally understand the need and want for romance to make you feel special. I'm lucky mine actually pulls through from time to time and does something truly romantic.

Thank you!  I know it's just an object, a thing that doesn't have to mean anything, but it's an object and an accompanying act that has symbolism and a very lovely meaning, to me.

Never got one from the man I was once married to, and never got one from the recent man who claimed he wanted to marry me, either. When, last year, I was planning to join the man I moved to the UK to be with, it was about a year and half very painful LDR while we knew we wanted to be together....at that time anyway. And during that time, even though he talked openly about getting married sometime after I finally got back here, so it was on the table, he never actually proposed even when he came to visit, and he never of course got me a ring either (just like my ex husband!)

We talked on the phone every day and e-mailed all the time, but I always felt sad that while I was being followed around the supermarket by some creepy guy in Austin 5,000 miles away from him, there was no visible sign on view to other men just to say "Forget it, she's taken!" That sounds pretty silly too, I know, it's just a small and petty thing, but I kind of enjoyed the idea of being "marked out" in that sweet old traditional way. I wanted to think of us as engaged. He just dismissed any mention I made of it with: "oh in our hearts you're already my wife."

During our long distance relationship period, I would have loved to have worn his ring and felt like there was something tangible to the world to show our love for each other and our status of exclusivity. ANY price! I had even seen ones for as low as $500. That would have been fine by me. Just the thought that he'd gone and chosen something, however humble the cost. And presented it to me.

As it is, everything fell apart anyway and I would have only had to give it back. Or sell it. Just as well there was no proposal, no ring after all.

I had to ask him.. Ugh.   So, I wont get a romantic proposal

But was your proposal *to him* romantic?! 

My boy and I applied for the fiance visa before he actually proposed, because I told him we couldn't get engaged before I graduated from college in December, but I wanted to turn in the visa app before I graduated so I could get the visa and leave as soon as I was done. Then the application was denied, so he came to visit in January. The night he got there we exchanged Christmas presents, and at the end he said "I have one more for you, but it has to wait." I knew what it was but I didn't press him on it, because we both love romantic gestures. But then he made the most romantic gesture I could think of... he hesitated for a second and then said "No, I can't wait." He dug around in his bag for a second and pulled out a ring, and said "Will you marry me?" And I of course said yes, and we hugged and swayed in place for a really long time. It was so perfect, to me, because I've always loved the little beautiful things much more than the big productions.

It was so perfect, to me, because I've always loved the little beautiful things much more than the big productions.

That's how I feel too. I've never been much of a jewelry person, but I always wanted to love somebody who would sincerely love me and want to spend the rest of his life with me.  That's what I got, so it was romantic to me.

Mirrajay, I hope you get your ring someday for an anniversary present.  Maybe it will be even better and more meaningful to get it then?  It's hard to come up with good anniversary presents, and there's often so much celebrating around a wedding that I think it can be nice to save some of the celebration for the future.

That's how I feel too. I've never been much of a jewelry person, but I always wanted to love somebody who would sincerely love me and want to spend the rest of his life with me.  That's what I got, so it was romantic to me.

Tin, but this is a "given" for all of us.

Don't let this discussion of the manner in which one gets asked seem like that is the only thing we're focused on. We're discussing it because that's the thread topic.

It's a given that each of here find the most important thing to be to spend the rest of our lives with someone we love and who loves us.

It's a given. I wanted that with the person I moved to the UK for. I thought he wanted that too.

Just because we are discussing the sweet gestures that may accompany that goal, like rings and proposal-methods, does not make any one of us here less focused on the most romantic gesture of all, which is sincere commitment. Real love. And lasting love.

And as for "big productions" --  I hope it didn't sound like I wanted a marching band, TV cameras and a plane doing skywriting. I meant NO such thing.

I just wanted A PROPOSAL. Just a real one. Just a real moment when I knew I'd "gotten asked".
I got NOTHING.

It could have been nothing more than the pulling out the ring and the hug and kiss others here got. It could have been a walk in a park with rosebushes on a nice day and getting down on one knee. It could have been a nice meal then the big moment. I'm not fussy. I don't ask for much. Just bloody something. In both cases in my life when I might have had these moments like the rest of you, I got nothing.

My complaining about that does not negate the bigger picture which is, as you said, naturally the life of love that follows that moment. I think I did mention that in my post. I already made a point of saying THAT is of course the important thing. It's just that one can feel sad -- and one is allowed to -- if one had hoped for a bit more of a "moment" and never got it.

I didn't even get a wedding when I first married years ago. So allow me to wish I had even if it's not the most important thing.

But was your proposal *to him* romantic?! 

Good point Q-G, it absolutely was, so I guess I kinda did at least experience a romantic proposal... kinda... but you know what I learned?  I feel horrible for men being the ones who are SUPPOSED to propose because its so nerve-racking that you cant even enjoy it!  Its something I am glad I'll never have to do again

I didn't even get a wedding when I first married years ago. So allow me to wish I had even if it's not the most important thing.

I'm sorry that you didn't get the proposal or the marriage you dreamed of, and I hope that you will someday.  It wasn't my intention to judge or to comment on anybody else's dreams of a romantic proposal.  I was just agreeing with Ianicita and trying to say that my proposal, however small and spontaneous, was a romantic one for me.  I apologise if it came across otherwise.

I didn't get a "proposal" proposal, either.  We were sitting on the sofa in my apartment at the end of one of his visits.  I was crying because I didn't want him to go, and I said so.  He had his arm really tighly around my shoulders, and he said "Well, I've been thinking . . . you want to be with me, right?" "Yes" "And I want to be with you.  So.  Why don't we just get married?"  I was absolutely floored because he had always said that he didn't want to get married, and I'd come to terms with that.  So for me the romance was in his getting over his hangups about marriage, and the fact that he'd clearly given the idea a lot of thought, if not the proposal.  If he had planned an elaborate proposal, we would both have been really embarrassed and self conscious.  I didn't have a ring, either.  He asked if I wanted one and I said no, because I don't really like diamonds and I didn't want him to spend the money.  But after he'd left, I did wish that I had something tangible to indicate that I was really engaged.  I didn't even change my facebook status until several days later, though I really wanted to, because I wanted to make absolutely sure that he hadn't just been suffering from temporary insanity.  A ring would have gone a long way towards easing that uncertainty.  But we were married seven weeks later, and I love my wedding ring, so it's all good, now.  But Midnight blue, I completely understand you wanting a "visible sign" that you're taken.  That proposal shifted my entire world view and plans for my future, I would've liked a visible sign that it really was happening and not all in my head! 

Ha!  I havent changed my Facebook status either kind of for the same reason.  Eventhough I asked the question and he said yes, it still feels like there is something missing... Although I suppose that being engaged just is an intangible thing and all that really matters is the person's word that they are up for it. 
I think I'll just go from "in a relationship" to "married" and leave a lot of people scratching their heads!

Good point Q-G, it absolutely was, so I guess I kinda did at least experience a romantic proposal...

Let's hear about it! 

(i'm all loved up, so turning into a romantic sap myself, it seems!) 

Remembering that romance is in the eye of the romancee and romancer, I will tell you my story
He and I have always shared a joke (I dont even remember how the joke started now!)about a stupid song that talks about putting notes in a school locker - one of those notes that asks "will you go out with me? check yes or no" kind of things, you know? 
So, we met up in Washington DC for a long weekend and I did all my research to find a swanky cool restaurant, convinced him to "dress up" (which to him was just not jeans) bought a cute dress, bought a ring, etc etc... and I asked him after dinner. 
I bought a miniature school locker (about 12 inches high) and taped a little note to the inside that said "Will you marry me" and had the check boxes for yes and no.  On the little shelf inside the locker was the ring and one of those mini sharpies for him to use to check... I put the locker on the table and he stared at it in confusion, so I opened it up and he read the note very slowly and said "shouldn't there be another option?" ... I stared at him not knowing what he was getting at and said defensively "what? like a 'maybe' box??"  He said "no, there should be an 'of course, you know I will' box", and he ticked the yes box without even seeing the ring lying there.  So, I picked it up and set it in front of him and he immediately put it on and it even fit!  (honestly, he hates jewlery and the ring was purchased more as a prop, but it was a good show for him to wear it that weekend).

Later that night he admited that he felt terrible that I had to do the proposal b/c he knows it something he should have done, and I think he still feels bad about it, but too late now    And now I can be some Spice Girl girl-power ambassador because I challenged gender roles...just call me Proposal Spice!!