What "should" you be doing?

I have only one, but it's a biggie for me and something I really struggle with :

Live in the moment

Yes, absolutely ditto this.

Oh, and, be more tolerant with my children. And of my husband.   

1. Plan my domination of the world.
2. Sleep more than 3-4 hours a day.
3. Tie my shoes right over left and not left over right.
4. Practise the Prusick climb.
5. take a class on portugese or arabic.
6. run more often
7. Save  for a better camera
8. take more train trips to unknown destinations
9. study
10. call my mom more often

I have only one, but it's a biggie for me and something I really struggle with :

Live in the moment

That's excellent, P!!

I had a therapist once who told me I needed to stop "shoulding all over myself" - since then I've done my best to never start a sentence with "I really should". If you want to do something, do it. If you don't want to, don't stress about it.

I had a therapist once who told me I needed to stop "shoulding all over myself" - since then I've done my best to never start a sentence with "I really should". If you want to do something, do it. If you don't want to, don't stress about it.

I have heard that (read it actually), too.  It's very counter-productive and not very zen!

I have heard that (read it actually), too.  It's very counter-productive and not very zen!

See, I actually don't think it's counter productive at all. But maybe that's because when I get really stressed/bogged down with worries, I freeze up and don't do anything. But when I actually just do what I want in the moment (and that doesn't just mean eat chocolate, LOL, it can apply to getting up and taking a walk, having a drink of water because I'm actually thirsty, etc) I get far more accomplished!!

ETA: I think the whole idea of the workd "should" is rather loaded, anyway.

Right now:

1. Laundry
2. Dishes
3. Finishing my CV
4. Finishing my grad school application
5. Getting my college transcripts
6. Dealing with some outstanding issues with our house back home
7. Finding out what time we're supposed to be at a dinner party tonight
8. Packing for our weekend trip to Paris (after I get done #1)
9. Looking for somewhere to get my haircut
10. Feeding the cats and scooping their poop.

I had a therapist once who told me I needed to stop "shoulding all over myself"

Same here.  Banning that word from my mind has done wonders for my mental health ever since (though it took a while to eradicate and to change my thought processes accordingly).

I now think in terms of "What will I do?" and "I will do this next and then that later" or "I won't do that now/later/ever, as it's not urgent or important or a high priority", etc. 

I now feel like I have choices that I am free to make according to priorities (mine as well as those of others that I take into consideration), and I am far less stressed than I used to be.  And I do my best to avoid using that word with other people too.  Instead, if relevant, I try to suggest options for what they could do.

I had a therapist once who told me I needed to stop "shoulding all over myself" - since then I've done my best to never start a sentence with "I really should". If you want to do something, do it. If you don't want to, don't stress about it.

I always say that to DH! I totally agree. No regrets here. Do something or don't and if you make a mistake, learn from it. My problem is that I am 'Control Tower I' and I want to know the outcome of every scenario before it happens. Muttering the Serenity Prayer to myself helps. 
 

See, I actually don't think it's counter productive at all. But maybe that's because when I get really stressed/bogged down with worries, I freeze up and don't do anything. But when I actually just do what I want in the moment (and that doesn't just mean eat chocolate, LOL, it can apply to getting up and taking a walk, having a drink of water because I'm actually thirsty, etc) I get far more accomplished!!

ETA: I think the whole idea of the workd "should" is rather loaded, anyway.

When I said:

I have heard that (read it actually), too.  It's very counter-productive and not very zen!

I was *agreeing* with you about the word "should"....

The washing up and then putting on a load of laundry, my never-ending chore.

When I said: I was *agreeing* with you about the word "should"....

LOL. Oops! Sorry, Andee - I thought it was weird coming from you the way I read it. Now I see what you were saying!!! 

P, I'm a massive control freak too. Massive. It's hard!

i should be running a bath

Be visiting family more often.

Cleaning the house - but watching "how clean is your house" instead..because it makes my idolness not seem so bad after all! 

Hoovering