Worse Than An IA

DH spoke to FIL oncologist today and there will be no MRI's no more treatment...All he could say is there was extensive tumors and would/could not give a number.  He said we will need to meet to discuss the options but will need 24 hour care and he could get the full package.  We have no idea what this means but obviously it can't be good.
To me it sounds like hospice care.  My FIL is so depressed sitting in the hospital now for a month.  He wont let us get him TV, he wont read or can't we dont know at this point.  He just lays there or sits in a chair or sleeps - how depressing.  We need to get him to a home environment and this may be a up hill battle with my MIL over care as DH thinks she could do the 24 hour and move back in with him but I think they would kill each other.
I wish we had more room as I would happily do it.

DH spoke to FIL oncologist today and there will be no MRI's no more treatment...All he could say is there was extensive tumors and would/could not give a number.  He said we will need to meet to discuss the options but will need 24 hour care and he could get the full package.  We have no idea what this means but obviously it can't be good.
To me it sounds like hospice care.  My FIL is so depressed sitting in the hospital now for a month.  He wont let us get him TV, he wont read or can't we dont know at this point.  He just lays there or sits in a chair or sleeps - how depressing.  We need to get him to a home environment and this may be a up hill battle with my MIL over care as DH thinks she could do the 24 hour and move back in with him but I think they would kill each other.
I wish we had more room as I would happily do it.

Oh, J- I'm so sorry.  I hope you can make him as comfortable as possible.  Big hugs to you and all your family. 

DH spoke to FIL oncologist today and there will be no MRI's no more treatment...All he could say is there was extensive tumors and would/could not give a number.  He said we will need to meet to discuss the options but will need 24 hour care and he could get the full package.  We have no idea what this means but obviously it can't be good.
To me it sounds like hospice care.  My FIL is so depressed sitting in the hospital now for a month.  He wont let us get him TV, he wont read or can't we dont know at this point.  He just lays there or sits in a chair or sleeps - how depressing.  We need to get him to a home environment and this may be a up hill battle with my MIL over care as DH thinks she could do the 24 hour and move back in with him but I think they would kill each other.
I wish we had more room as I would happily do it.

(((Big hugs)))

DH spoke to FIL oncologist today and there will be no MRI's no more treatment...All he could say is there was extensive tumors and would/could not give a number.  He said we will need to meet to discuss the options but will need 24 hour care and he could get the full package.  We have no idea what this means but obviously it can't be good.
To me it sounds like hospice care.  My FIL is so depressed sitting in the hospital now for a month.  He wont let us get him TV, he wont read or can't we dont know at this point.  He just lays there or sits in a chair or sleeps - how depressing.  We need to get him to a home environment and this may be a up hill battle with my MIL over care as DH thinks she could do the 24 hour and move back in with him but I think they would kill each other.
I wish we had more room as I would happily do it.

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this.  Hugs to you, K, and the girls. 

DH spoke to FIL oncologist today and there will be no MRI's no more treatment...All he could say is there was extensive tumors and would/could not give a number.  He said we will need to meet to discuss the options but will need 24 hour care and he could get the full package.  We have no idea what this means but obviously it can't be good.
To me it sounds like hospice care.  My FIL is so depressed sitting in the hospital now for a month.  He wont let us get him TV, he wont read or can't we dont know at this point.  He just lays there or sits in a chair or sleeps - how depressing.  We need to get him to a home environment and this may be a up hill battle with my MIL over care as DH thinks she could do the 24 hour and move back in with him but I think they would kill each other.
I wish we had more room as I would happily do it.

Big hugs Chilly Willy. 

So sorry Chilly Willy, keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

So sorry, CW. I hope you can work something out that's better for him.

Thanks guys...I just want to make him as happy as possible ;-) He isnt in pain so they say but he still gets confused.  I assume is the tumor or cancer spreading on his spine and lower back pressing against a nerve.
Appreciate all the huggs and lets hope talking to MIL will be easier about this, this month.

DH spoke to FIL oncologist today and there will be no MRI's no more treatment...All he could say is there was extensive tumors and would/could not give a number.  He said we will need to meet to discuss the options but will need 24 hour care and he could get the full package.  We have no idea what this means but obviously it can't be good.

So sorry to hear this.
When they decided no more treatments for my daughter she had already visited a hospice and declared she did not want to end up there. So we took her back to the flat and her partner, DH and I cared for her along with an army of district nurses and home help aides. We also had Marie Curie nurses (they were the best) and MacMillan nurses. It was like Grand Central Station in a tiny flat. At the time I thought she'd really be better off in a hospice where they could fine tune her meds better and get on top of the pain. But now they're saying over here that it's really better for people to end their days at home -- and better for the families too. So I don't know ... I guess it was for the best really.

I'm so sorry about your fil, chilly.

Sorry about your FIL CW. We had home hospice care for my dad, and even though it was only a couple of days between stopping treatment and his passing (very aggressive brain tumour had hit the brain stem and it was quick after that  ), the help they provided was really wonderful.

I'm so sorry Chilly Willy.

Big hugs ChillyW.

I'm so sorry CW!!!  This is my biggest fear when my dad goes back to mayo clinic probably in June!

I'm really sorry to hear the news, CW. 

Hospice care seems to vary a lot depending on the hospice & what services they offer.  In her final days (in the US), my mom had some hospice care but they didn't transfer her from the nursing home where she had been long settled by then - the hospice staff came into the nursing home instead & just provided another layer of care, more attention, etc.  It was a good thing.