Worse Than An IA

Sorry to hear that, BD.

I just found out from my mom that one of my best friends in high school has a malignant tumor on her brain stem. She's having surgery next week to try and remove it, but she's in a lot of pain and is on constant morphine. And she's 22 weeks pregnant. All she's worried about is the baby, but her family are worried about HER. And the doctors won't know about possible chemo or radiation until the surgery.

So I've had to ring two other close friends of hers here with the news, and in doing so, I found out that my "UK parents"' aunt just died. She was more of a mother figure and the only family my "UK mum" had. She was an amazing lady who had an incredible, long life, but it really wasn't the news I wanted to have right now.

Oh Squirrellypoo, terrible news all around

Sad news, squirrellypoo. I know there's no way of telling until they do the op, but *sometimes* brain tumors can just be removed and the patient is fine. This happened to someone we know -- I believe she is on some sort of medication but otherwise a normal life. I hope this will be the case with your friend. 

Sad news, squirrellypoo. I know there's no way of telling until they do the op, but *sometimes* brain tumors can just be removed and the patient is fine. This happened to someone we know -- I believe she is on some sort of medication but otherwise a normal life. I hope this will be the case with your friend. 

I hope so, too... I emailed her today and told her about two such people I know who've survived them. And sent her some fun YouTube videos and ordered some dvds and an audiobook from Amazon (and for the first time in my life paid for the fast shipping so she'll get it before the weekend).

So sorry to hear that, squirrellypoo. I hope the surgery is helpful and she doesn't need the chemo/radiation.

So sorry to hear your sad news, SP. Hope your friend and her baby will be okay and sorry that your UK mum lost her aunty. Hugs.

My grandma fessed up that she is forgetting things (she says that sometimes she puts her dinner plate down while she is eating, and then forgets where she put it, looks for it for half an hour and then finds it right in front of her) and she is realising that she shouldn't really live on her own for much longer and has to think of some other options. She has decided to move in with her niece in Louisiana at some point in the near future and has started getting rid of some stuff. I feel awful because I'm her only immediate family member since my dad passed away, and I'm too far away to take care of her. She means the world to me.  I'm also sad for her because I know how much her independence means to her and I can tell she is sad to let that go. Still, she sounded fairly positive about it (happy she won't have to go to a nursing home, at least) and her sister, my great aunt, is already living there so she would get to spend more time with her. I'm trying to stay positive about it, as well, but I don't get along with the cousin very well and have a few reservations about what she will get out of the deal financially (she has bummed a lot of money off my grandma over the years and had her sign for things on credit for her and then not paid for them, and other stuff like that.) Deep down, though, regardless of her flaws, I know that she really loves my grandma and will take care of her. I'm just sad. And I miss my Mamaw more than anyone. I'm having a hard time dealing with missing out on the last years of her life, really, but there's nothing I can do about it. 

(((hugs))) Jewlz, that's really tough!!!!! 

So sorry for what you're going through SP.

And, Jewlz I'm sorry to hear about your grandma.  It's so hard to be far away when things aren't going well at home.

Oh Jewlz, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. My grandparents took the decision about ten years ago to sell the family home and auction most of the furniture and stuff and around that time, put their names on a waiting list for a fantastic retirement complex where they've now been for the past five years or so. It's independent apartments but with an on-site nursing home, too, so when my Granny had neurological issues last year, my granddad was able to stay in the apartment and just walk a short distance to see her, and when she moved back in with him, it was nice knowing that care was only just a few corridors away.

It must be really hard for your grandma, but it does make the process so much easier for everyone involved when they make the choice for themselves. She's able to choose where she wants to go, and at a time when she's still mentally able to cope and do the big move in a way that she's able to.

And in terms of my friend, I rang her last night and I'm SO glad I did. She was the same ol her and we wisecracked jokes about cancer and babies and it was just like we were 15 again. Her mom's going to keep my mom in the loop about her surgery tomorrow and I'm going to pass it along to our UK friends here. And apparently chemo and radiation are both still possible with her pregnancy, though she's hoping she can just keep it to localised radiation, even though I kept telling her that chemo honestly isn't as big and bad and scary as it's made out to be! That, and she'd look totally hot in a pink wig.

Jewlz, I'll bet if your grandma *thinks* that she's getting forgetful and talks about it, then it's really not dementia or anything serious. We all get forgetful as we age (ahem!) and get rattled when we can't find something. My observation of my mother was that, although she'd complained all her life of a bad memory, when it looked like she really was developing Alzheimer's she developed this incredible ability to disguise her failings. She would yell at us that we were all whispering so she didn't know what was going on. The last thing she would have admitted was that something was wrong with her.
So, while it's natural for your Grandma to want to be near family and wants to make the move while she's able, I don't think I'd worry too much that she's going ga-ga.
And I can understand you feel you want to help her yourself. But maybe she's more comfortable with folks her own age. And I'm sure she wants you to get on with your own life.

We recently found out that BF's dad had a minor heart attack sometime around Christmas.  It went unnoticed and he was diagnosed with angina shortly thereafter.  More tests showed what it actually was. He's also been having breathing problems, which we thought were related, but when he got his angiogram and stint the other day, the doctor advised that he should have some tests done because he thought it might be something else, since it had been getting worse.

BF just called and said his dad collapsed in the shopping centre.  So worried for them. 

Oh no, NOT, (((hugs))) and good thoughts to you!!!

wow lots of IA's...hugss to you all and good wishes coming your way ;-)

Thanks guys.  Just found out he had a blot clot on/in his lung, so they're going to keep him in the hospital and take care of it.  Phew.  The whole sequence of events leading up to this happened just so that if any of it had gone differently, he might not be with us.    Just thankful he's being taken care of.