Worse Than An IA

PlainPearl...it sounds like you are a good sister.  Sometimes all you can do is listen because sometimes the other person just needs to talk.  Unfortunately, I can't speak from experience of having a relative with that affliction, but I've had students who were bi-polar and that was hard, so I can't begin to imagine.  Hugs to you, though.   

Danielle...you're not a selfish jerk.  They really should have informed you.  It's your family.  Regardless of whether you could have attended the funeral or not, you should have been told and not really via a FB message.  On the other hand, at least your second cousin did tell you and didn't take for granted that someone else may have already.  It's still not right, though.  Hugs to you.   

Thanks ladies! It's hard enough feeling connected to family in the States when there isn't a loss. You know how people have Skype tables at weddings? Maybe someone should start it for funerals. You can't Skype hugs, though.

PP, my baby sister was just (finally after years of turmoil) diagnosed with bipolar disorder last December and its very, very hard.  So I think all you can do is be supportive the best way you can.  (((hugs)))

Danielle, (((hugs))) to you too. Hard to be away when these things happen. I'm sorry for your loss.



Well I just heard through a mutual friend that one of my good friends in South Florida, her husband had a heart attack and is in a coma.  They want her to turn off the life support machines.  He's really all she has for family and I'm just so sad for her.   

Thank you so much, ladies.

Well I just heard through a mutual friend that one of my good friends in South Florida, her husband had a heart attack and is in a coma.  They want her to turn off the life support machines.  He's really all she has for family and I'm just so sad for her.   

PB, that's terrible! I can't imagine being in her shoes.

I hope you had a good chat with your mom.  


As some of you may remember my sister suffers from Bipolar Disorder and things at home had been rather difficult when she started treatment. Since then things had been mostly better with a few hiccups. However, she's been feeling pretty hopeless lately. She's 25 and she can't hold down a job. She hasn't finished her degree and she feels like her life is a dead end and that she's a burden to my parents. She doesn't feel like her treatment has improved her quality of life, but refuses other treatments because of the adverse side effects.

She keeps saying things like "I just feel like the only treatment for this is ending it. I won't, but I think about it a lot." Of course I tell my parents or notify whoever I can that she's saying these things, but I don't know what to say to her when we talk. I'm afraid to make it worse. I feel like "I know it's hard, but you can work through this" doesn't really help much and just seems like what you're supposed to say. I just don't know how to be a good sister in this scenario. I feel like all I can do is listen and say cliche things and that's not good enough.  

I'm so sorry Plain Pearl! I know that can be hard to deal with as well! Hang in there! Your doing the best thing!

I did talk to my mom last night. She's ok. In quite a bit of pain which has caused her to slow down a lot (Which honestly, she needed to anyways. She's very much a "yes" person and tends to over fill her plate with activities and helping others!) They want to do a more serious exam at the end of this month and evaluate her ability to go through surgery...Hopefully she can be cleared for this and have surgery next month. But she's in good spirits otherwise!

My friend H, her cancer was in remission, she came to visit in April, life was good.
She's now got 3 broken ribs and it looks like her cancer is back (its a plasma cell cancer that multiple, eeeking out the bone marrow, causing thin bones, pain and fractures). 

She's off to the oncologist today - and I'm quite worried for her.   

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, PB. Best you can do is be there to listen to her - the good stuff and the bad stuff. And remind her of the good visit she had, and that she can come back when she's better again.

My friend H, her cancer was in remission, she came to visit in April, life was good.
She's now got 3 broken ribs and it looks like her cancer is back (its a plasma cell cancer that multiple, eeeking out the bone marrow, causing thin bones, pain and fractures). 

She's off to the oncologist today - and I'm quite worried for her.   

Sorry to hear that, PB. 

Thanks guys

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, PB. Best you can do is be there to listen to her - the good stuff and the bad stuff. And remind her of the good visit she had, and that she can come back when she's better again.

Thanks, this will now be my plan! 

Thanks, this will now be my plan! 

In my experience, when you're really ill, you need things to look forward to and fight towards. For me it was our wedding, for her it can be another wonderful trip to sunny Scotland (why not make it sunny if we're setting a goal, eh??).

So sorry to hear this, PB. Very worrying for her and you too.

My stepdad has e-mailed me to say that they're putting our dog down this week. She's 13, has diabetes, and is not doing well. I adopted her in college after she was in the pound and then abused by her next owners. She had her issues (very dog aggressive, and a total pig about food), but was one of the sweetest dogs you'd ever meet (unless you were a dog she'd like to eat for lunch).

I saw her last Thanksgiving and knew she was quite slow, and it would probably be my last chance to see her. Still, it makes me sad to know that I won't be able to say goodbye in person (though maybe that's just as well), nor will I see her doofy face again.

RIP Reaghan. 1999-2012

Sorry, equestrianerd. 

Sorry about your dog, equestrianerd. 

Sorry to hear that, equestrianerd.