Worse Than An IA

What a horrendous story, TamaMoo.

Definitely. I have another friend, his fiancee and their kids, who lost their home in to a fire the day before, then mom's former employer and friend, the son of the elderly woman she sat with, lost part of his house the same day. I was feeling for both families for losing all their 'stuff and memories', until I heard about this. It was suddenly put into perspective. Even family heirlooms and pictures, and all the memory mementos don't matter so much.

Oh, Tama, that's terrible!

Sometimes there isn't anything to say and 'being there', however you are able, speaks volumes.
   

Sometimes there isn't anything to say and 'being there', however you are able, speaks volumes.
   

I agree with MLG -- condolences, flowers, cards can't even begin to touch that kind of grief. 

Oh, Tama, that's terrible!

Sometimes there isn't anything to say and 'being there', however you are able, speaks volumes.
   

I agree with MLG -- condolences, flowers, cards can't even begin to touch that kind of grief. 

Good point ladies. I just have this habit of feeling I need to 'fix' things for people, even when it can't be fixed.

Dh's Nanna died on Monday her health has been declining over the past few months. she has been in a nursing home for the past few years. She just had her b/day last month she turned 91 she had a long life. Hubby & Mil are going to the nursing home today to clear out her things today. I feel so bad for Dh & his family I lost my grandparents when I was 11. The funeral is in a couple weeks.

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Hugs to your DH, you, and the family.

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Hugs to your DH, you, and the family.

Thanks TamaMoo.  

We've both spent the day feeling like prize jerks for being annoyed at being kept up all night by a swarm of police officers up and down the outside steps, in and out of doors making all kinds of noise, after beating on our door at 1:45 am. We didn't answer. When we left for work at 6:37, the last of them and the ambulance were just leaving.

After we got to work, hubby searched the local news site and found out one of the guys next door had shot himself. That is where we started feeling like complete a$$e$ for being annoyed instead of opening the door when the police knocked. We didn't hear the shot, and Joey must not have either, because loud noises in the dark scare the birdy crap out of him and he goes a bit nuts in a panic.

James was only 22, and although we didn't actually know him, he was always pleasant when we talked to him, and he gave us Belgian chocolates to thank us for clearing the outside steps of snow and ice when we had the big snowstorm early in the winter. It is an odd feeling, feeling sad because a kind young man felt no hope, but not knowing him well enough to feel I should go to a funeral.

That's really sad Tama 

That's really sad Tama 

Very. I talked with his friend/roommate again last night and he just seems so lost. The aunt in my cries with how young and lost he looks. I lost a friend to suicide 17 years ago, at nearly the same age, so I understand what he is dealing with. It takes time, but you do get to a point where you learn to smile again. He will get there.

Googled an old friend's name and discovered she has ovarian cancer, stage 3/4.  Thing is we were once very close but then when she got married and I decided to go off on my own adventures, she got very jealous I guess.  We tried to make it up but she kept harping on it which drove me crazy.  So I thought it best to just avoid her.  I invited them to our wedding but they didn't come for whatever reason.

Now I feel really bad for her of course.  But I don't want to rake up any more aggro -- and I'm sure she doesn't need that at this time.  I finally decided to send her a "thinking of you" card with a note saying how sorry I was and hope her treatment goes well.  What else can you do.

So sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard to know what to do when you have lost touch with someone, especially when the person was jealous or just grew distant when you were trying to continue the friendship so long ago.

Mine: We're all sitting around waiting for my oldest niece's fiance to just buzz off. He started out good to her and good for her, although he has the maturity level of a 4 year old. He is 36, holds down a job, seems reasonably intelligent, but just has no maturity about him. He is now being verbally and emotionally abusive. She just keeps hoping things will get better, but she has also watched her mom with her verbally and emotionally abusive stepdad. Her mom puts up with it, and the the three girls have seen her with the 'misery is better than being single' attitude. My niece is 22, sweet, funny, and could do so much better.

We all know it is just a matter of time before they finish, but it is agony watching her go through this. The family (other than hubby who has never had the patience for him) has tolerated him because he was her choice, and she was happy for so long. Now, he is showing a whole new side and we just want him to toddle off into the sunset. Or get run over by a steamroller...

BostonDiner that's terrible cancer is the worst.. Have you had a response from her yet? Cancer runs in my family and is always something I worry about in the back of my mind.

I recently found out my wonderful father-in-law has cancer again.. He was in remission for several years and doing rather well. It recently reared it's head again. First, it was his low blood platelets, which he's been having to go to the local hospital daily for the medical staff to clean his blood, then it was leukaemia (again) and now the doctors have said he has Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.. I was utterly speechless to hear this. This is a man who worked hard his entire life to provide for his family and after just retiring last year, he's been hit with this.

My husband is not taking the news well, naturally. We're not sure what the prognosis is yet. He also is undergoing chemotherapy, which leaves him tired and not up for much these days. My in laws recently celebrated 38 years of marriage which is an accomplishment in itself. We decided to plan our wedding in June of this year over a year ago, due to my father-in-law not being able to fly. Now, we're not sure if he will even make it to our wedding.. Utterly heartbreaking! All I want is to spend as much time with him as possible, because you never know how long you have with the people you love.. x

No, I haven't heard back from her.  I did have a dream about her the other night, in which she was very ill indeed but was friendlier than I thought she would be. 

Cancer is a truly devastating disease even nowadays.  I read recently some expert said the word was not a noun but a verb.  Implying that it does recur in many cases, I guess.  So hard on families and friends too.  Sorry about your fil, LittleMiss.  You're right, you can only try to spend the time while you can.