Driving Scariness...

I've waited 5 years because I was scared.  So it's just got to be silly & I need to get on with it.  But geez - that first two hour lesson was such hard work, and the JW woman didn't make it any easier. 

Two hours with that woman sounds scarier than the driving itself! 

Just thought I'd add this as an FYI to any other new drivers here. If you find yourself involved in an accident of any sort, no matter how scared you are or no matter how uncomfortable you feel stopping, this is what the Highway Code says you must do:

Documentation
286
If you are involved in a collision which causes damage or injury to any other person, vehicle, animal or property, you MUST

• stop
• give your own and the vehicle owner’s name and address, and the registration number of the vehicle, to anyone having reasonable grounds for requiring them
• if you do not give your name and address at the time of the collision, report it to the police as soon as reasonably practicable, and in any case within 24 hours

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTransport/Highwaycode/DG_069863

Jewlz, I had my first driving lesson on Monday.    I think I am going to switch instructors though - cos she made a point to tell me that she's a Jehovah's Witness and why 'God gave us rainbows'. 

How absolutely inapproriate!  I'd be furious.  I'm sure it's against the driving school's rules to proseltize (sp?) to students while in or out of the car!  I'd be so angry I wouldn't be able to think straight let alone *drive* straight!

Jewlz, I hope you are feeling less upset about the whole thing.  I'm glad your husband was not upset--better he laugh it off than get angry about it.  I am one of those who may never learn to drive in the UK, the thought of it alone stresses me out.  You were very brave to drive two miles on your own.

I remember my ex drove for the first time in Ireland, and within minutes knocked someone's mirror off and cracked ours.  We heard this noise and had no idea what it was.  If it wasn't for the fact that the guy's whose mirror we knocked off followed us and got our attention from our rear-view mirror until we stopped, we would never have known.

Two hours with that woman sounds scarier than the driving itself! 

YEAP!!!
Hugs, Mrs R, that sounds rough!!!

That sounds like a totally freaky experience, but not the end of the world.  I would've cried, too.  I'm glad to hear you're okay.

When I was first learning to drive here, we were having problems with DH's old car, which we've since sold.  We went through a series of loaner cars from DH's friend/personal car dealer while he tried to find us a suitable replacement for less than £800 (NOT an easy task!).  One day, in the middle of this long string of temporary cars, I had to pick up the boys from school because DH was busy in the afternoon.  This would have been fine if the borrowed car of the moment wasn't a HUGE Jaguar.  Seriously, this thing took up the whole road!  And the boys go to school in a tiny village that can only reached by driving on several tiny two-lane roads.  So getting to school that afternoon was an absolute nightmare!  I white-knuckled the steering wheel of this battleship all the way out to the village, swearing the whole way that I'd NEVER drive this car again.  Well, as soon as the boys saw the Jaguar, they freaked out.  It was the coolest thing they'd ever seen.  They both went running up to it, screaming, "WHOA, IT'S A JAMES BOND CAR!!!"  All I could do was give a weak smile as I tried to muster up the courage to drive them home.

Long story short, I totally get the freaked-out feeling of being on the road here.  It's SO different.  You'll get comfortable with it soon enough.  Until then, try not to be so hard on yourself. 

That sounds like a totally freaky experience, but not the end of the world.  I would've cried, too.  I'm glad to hear you're okay.

When I was first learning to drive here, we were having problems with DH's old car, which we've since sold.  We went through a series of loaner cars from DH's friend/personal car dealer while he tried to find us a suitable replacement for less than £800 (NOT an easy task!).  One day, in the middle of this long string of temporary cars, I had to pick up the boys from school because DH was busy in the afternoon.  This would have been fine if the borrowed car of the moment wasn't a HUGE Jaguar.  Seriously, this thing took up the whole road!  And the boys go to school in a tiny village that can only reached by driving on several tiny two-lane roads.  So getting to school that afternoon was an absolute nightmare!  I white-knuckled the steering wheel of this battleship all the way out to the village, swearing the whole way that I'd NEVER drive this car again.  Well, as soon as the boys saw the Jaguar, they freaked out.  It was the coolest thing they'd ever seen.  They both went running up to it, screaming, "WHOA, IT'S A JAMES BOND CAR!!!"  All I could do was give a weak smile as I tried to muster up the courage to drive them home.

Long story short, I totally get the freaked-out feeling of being on the road here.  It's SO different.  You'll get comfortable with it soon enough.  Until then, try not to be so hard on yourself. 

   That's cute about the James Bond car... thanks for making me smile!

I do feel a bit better about it this morning. Similar things happened while learning to drive in the US, so I guess I am starting all over here. I think I learned the lesson of not driving alone until I feel more confident, though. Actually, the whole situation makes me want to learn to drive even more, surprisingly, just because I want to put it behind me and move on. Not being able to drive here, I feel, is the only thing really standing in my way of total acclimation to my lifestyle here. Once I can do that, and have that freedom and independence again (without the fear and paranoia) then I will feel so much better about my life here. I always loved driving in the US, though I can remember now how long it took to be able to do it confidently, and to know my way around without getting completely lost. So I know it will take just as long here, but I need to move forward with it soon. I am trying to look at the positive side of things, that at least I was somewhat confident enough to try, and I found my way home from the next village over (even if it isn't very far) which is pretty good, all things considered. Hopefully this time next year, I will be able to look back on this as I drive myself somewhere alone, and smile at how far I've come! 

Good for you, Jewlz!  I'm glad to hear you feel better about it today.  From the way you're talking now, I'm sure you'll be confident behind the wheel in no time!

Jewlz, I had my first driving lesson on Monday.    I think I am going to switch instructors though - cos she made a point to tell me that she's a Jehovah's Witness and why 'God gave us rainbows'. 

I found it really hard because I have driven manual transmissions for years in the US, but apparently my manual driving technique with the clutch & brakes etc (which is like second nature to me) is all wrong & will make me fail the test if I don't 'unlearn' it.  So not only am I having to learn how to drive the wrong way round, but faffing about inside the car as well - having a lot of trouble pushing the stick away from me to put it in first gear (and finding the right gear each time) rather than toward me with my right hand, etc etc.  DH says he thinks it's probably more difficult to unlearn an old habit-second nature thing like that, than to learn 'how to' from scratch.

I want to get my UK licence before an upcoming trip to the US however.  So I may end up just going for an automatic licence - just to get one, even though our car is manual.  And then keep working on the manual licence later on. 

Another one chiming in - me too on this.  My first car was a stick shift.  But the shifting away is a problem, although only on roundabouts!  My feeling is that it's like trying to change lanes in an intersection (major no-no in US) while making a turn, AND shifting backwards.  I tend to get stuck in neutral and panic.  It's too much.  But driving in straight lines is fine.  I think it's because I'm not having to keep as much of an eye on traffic on either side of me.  Hopefully with experience here will come a new comfort zone?

But the shifting away is a problem, although only on roundabouts!  My feeling is that it's like trying to change lanes in an intersection (major no-no in US) while making a turn, AND shifting backwards.  I tend to get stuck in neutral and panic.  It's too much. 

Yes - this!  Plus, I'm used to pressing down the clutch & easing down the brake simultaneously when slowing & knowing I'll be shifting gears - and my instructor was saying - no, you've got to start braking first (clutch up) then press the clutch a bit later...keep your hands on the wheel - don't reach for the stick until the last possible moment...arrrrrrrgggggggh!  It's totally opposite of how I'm used to driving!  Trying to pay attention to the roundabout, changing lanes, turning, shifting backwards, plus I'm doing my hands & my feet all in the wrong order.  Grrrrrrrrrrr. 

My sympathy to all of you with driving woes.  I sometimes found "unlearning" harder than learning the new ways.

Jewlz, I know driving here can be scary. Maybe you could get some lessons?  I know it sounds ridiculous, but learning from an instructor ended up being way less stressful for me than trying to learn from my husband.  Expensive.  But for me it was worth it.

Mrs. Robinson, I hope you get a new instructor right away.  It's bad enough without having to deal with an annoying person.   Do you know anyone to ask for a recommendation?  I didn't know anybody who had taken driving lessons recently.  My friend Theresa suggested her neighbor (although she hadn't taken lessons from him) who had been an instructor for 20 years and was "a nice man".  He turned out to be a wonderful teacher who was quiet, calm, patient, and a good explainer with a sense of humor.  I miss seeing him now that I've passed my test!

Well I've just got done with canceling my next lesson with the JW woman, and booked a new lesson with a driving school that's right here in my town not far from where we live.  So far, so good - they seemed so much more professional on the phone (than the JW woman was), so hoping that professionalism follows through on the lessons.  Plus they got me in for a lesson right away for this Sunday!  Fingers crossed.  I'm going to try at least one more lesson in a manual to see how I get on & then decide if I just want to get the automatic licence first (just to get one quickly) or what.

I've also got a referral for someone from a friend of mine here in town who passed her licence in the last 6 months - but I think he only does evening lessons (2nd job) & I'd rather have them during the daytime when I'm off work.

Jewlz, just wanted to add to the chorus -- you're not alone!!

Like you, I drove for years and years and years in the US, and while I was not a happy camper regarding the aggression in the traffic of my neck of the woods, technically I was a fully competent, confident and capable driver in full control of the vehicle and full command of the conditons around me and of my observations.

This perfectly confident driving went on for seventeen years, my only accident being when a 17 year boy hit me.

Jump to a couple of months ago, London, England. OH. MY. GOD. !!!!!

I'm an incompetent FOOL! I was driving like a KID all over again -- scared, not observing well, freaked out at sitting on the "wrong" side of the car, freaked out at driving on the "wrong" side of the road!!!

Everything was the wrong way around, mirror image, my "wrong" hand had to control the stick, I kept pawing the air with my left hand -- I was such a nervous kitten that I almost forgot to notice pedestrians, cyclists, other vehicles, road markings, street signs, speed limits. And I hated how narrow the streets are, how many parked vehicles obscure most of everything you have to do, how many pedestrians there are to deal with -- in my US city the streets were wide, and almost no pedestrians to distract or deal with.

Over here it was hell! And I felt angry and useless and humiliated because, for seventeen years, I had driven all day every day of my life, perfectly competently, without thinking about it. I was comfortable on the left hand side of the car and the right hand side of the road. Aside from a tendency to impatience and road rage and being fed up of the traffic, I was fine over there behind a wheel.

Granted I'm now driving in a city where even other people in the UK say "Oh God I could never attempt to drive in London."
But I'm actually starting to get used to it --- and you will too. I thought I never would or could, but its starting to come now, and I think I'm going to be okay.

So take heart and hang in there -- it may feel like you want to say goodbye to driving, I did too, but keep on trying.

I meant to say this before but forgot.  I ended up getting an automatic car and an automatic license.

I meant to say this before but forgot.  I ended up getting an automatic car and an automatic license.

Yes, we were going to get an automatic a couple years ago when we bought the Micra - but we got discouraged by the lack of selection, so I told DH - ok let's just get a manual & I'll deal.  Little did I know how hard dealing was going to be!  :\\\'(

I've also got to get to studying for the theory, hazard perception, learn all my road signs etc etc...which at 45 years old (nearly) is like the last thing I really want to be doing with my time.   

I've already warned DH how so worth it that it will be (getting my licence) because I'll be able to shop so much more!  Places that are awkward to get to right now on public transport!  And with a car to carry more bags!  I think he's scared. 

I didn't learn to drive for 5 years, and when I did it changed my life! My advice to you is pick yourself up, and get back in that car. Keep driving, experience is the only way to get comfortable doing it. My life has completely changed since learning to drive, I can pop in the car and do anything I want, whenever I want, more career options. I say, in the nicest way possible, pull yourself together and get driving! Good luck!