Severing ties

Good thread...I had wondered the same thing.  I created a timeline for my move, but wasn't sure if it was accurate, b/c it's just estimates.  It's good to hear how long it took others to do some of the same things.  My timeline is:

Nov 2009: Wedding
Dec 2009: Submit visa Apps for me and daughter/Biometrics/Send Docs
Dec 2009-Jan 2010: Wait for Approval
Feb 2010: Give notice at work and put house on market
Feb-Mar 2010: Garage sale/sell truck at Carmax/Pack and Ship/Move

We can afford my mortgage and DF mortgage on DF salary, so we decided to not put it on the market until after the visas are approved.  My truck will be paid off, so I will take whatever Carmax gives me.  I am looking into having a container delivered to my house for 2 days, while I hire some movers to pack everything in it.  I am attempting to make everything as easy as possible on myself, so as to not cause more stress.

Hope I am not way off base on my estimates...guess time will tell!

My cat: seven months all told. It was January 2nd, 2008, when I took him for his very first PETS related vet visit for his rabies booster vaccination. Two weeks after that, I took him back for his rabies titer blood draw (his boosters had lapsed hence the 2 wk wait for full antibodies), and about a week later the result came back (stronger than expected so he must have still been covered and not lapsed after all) and he was started on his six month countdown. He flew with me on July 23rd.

I had a bizarre and agonizing process/experience with physically packing my belongings, which may not be typical:
For some reason it took me two whole months to pack personal belongings into boxes. I was packing every evening after coming home from work, and then on the weekends, and it felt like an endless, miserable experience. Wrapping breakables carefully, making decisions about waht goes where, finding/buying boxes and countless rolls of tape. I was doing it by myself which could explain why it dragged out. I found it hard to make decisions about how to pack boxes so that I was making the best use of all the space but without making the individual box so heavy that I couldn't even lift it myself.

For some reason it all made me really freaked out. It may have been just "me" -- I am almost Asperger-like in my need for order and routine and being settled and rooted, and even though at the time I had a reason to look forward to moving for a relationship, the uprooting itself was frightening to me. So the packing became bizarrely challenging for me and I was in brain fog for most of the six months I was preparing. It felt very hard to organize the whole thing alone -- I would hope or wish that anyone doing this has a partner right there with them to help, or friends and family. I found it scary and my decision-making foggy doing it alone. Or...of course...get a moving company who packs for you!! I wanted to cut costs and was very happy with the shipping company I chose, but packing myself took a toll on me in a weird way.

Oh, I was packing for well over a year. The Year of Suck, I called it.

To be fair, I'm a packrat and I'd lived in that house for twenty years. I had a full basement and a 2-car garage stuffed full of complete crap. I couldn't just pack it all up and I couldn't just throw it all out; it had to be gone through.

I reckon I threw out or otherwise got rid of three quarters of it. And I'm going to get rid of about ten to twenty percent of what I did move.

It burnnnnssss usssss, precious.

Oh, I was packing for well over a year. The Year of Suck, I called it.

To be fair, I'm a packrat and I'd lived in that house for twenty years. I had a full basement and a 2-car garage stuffed full of complete crap. I couldn't just pack it all up and I couldn't just throw it all out; it had to be gone through.

I reckon I threw out or otherwise got rid of three quarters of it. And I'm going to get rid of about ten to twenty percent of what I did move.

It burnnnnssss usssss, precious.

Yikes I feel for you, Stoatula, that's a long time to have to go through everything, and I know, you do indeed have to take time just sorting through -- those decisions too were part of the agony. It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who thought the whole ordeal was a "Year of Suck" (or seven months in my case), and also to know I'm not the only one who took forever to pack!!.

I left behind a ton of stuff also -- all my furniture, electronics, household/kitchen things. Some of it I still miss and wish I'd included! And all of it I now have to "buy back" now that I'm over here, ie, replace, which is a pricey process, but I'm getting there slowly. If I'd known I'd need this stuff I would have put it in the shipment, but the plans changed...

I too spent a lot of time packing.  Personally it was my way of taking myself out of a miserable situation.  Over the year prior to my move I packed, unpacked, resorted and repacked somethings - but I'm a compulsive organizer.  Plus it was something to do and a positive step forward.  

I must say that the last few weeks took me by suprise- the amount of schtuff I had to shift in a hurry.  Part of that was the economy (blarg) and the fact that a few things that I expected to sell in a hurry didn't.  The movers came five weeks before my departure and I procastinated on the yard sales until about 3 weeks before because I wanted to make the most of what I had left (and I assumed it would be easy to sell the rest.  It wasn't.)    

Honestly I thought a was a person of minimal possessions, but when it came down to it, I had a ton of crap.  I'm also the type how has a major problem giving away what I could sell (I've been working poor for most of my life), so it was a job of work for me.    

Second everyone on the PETS scheme - I started Dec 07, procastinated through Jan-early March and was able to leave the country by the end of Sept 08.  My flight experience was really not that major.  Three cats and two overstuffed suitcases from Dahlonega, GA to Bristol, England in just over 24 hours (thanks Uncle Peter).  It wasn't a joyous experience but my cats recovered and are none worse for the wear.    

Same here, hollyberry, on having thought myself to be a person of minimal possessions -- I remember standing in the middle of my living room surrounded by an endless pile of pulled-out stuff in the pipeline for boxing up, thinking "Where the HELL did all this STUFF COME from?!?" 

Same with getting rid of things -- I knew that most of my stuff I wasn't taking was so old or in not great working condition that I'd get nothing for trying to sell it anyway, so I had to throw away most of it. All of my electronics were old, outdated and even not working quite properly (but well enough that I lived with it). I too was always kind of at "working poor" level financially and didn't really have anything of useful resale value in the final analysis.

The things I shipped, I shipped about five days before flying, I think. Most of it was not stuff I was going to need either in those last five days of living or during the two months I'd be over here waiting for the ship to come in. (Hah -- never thought anyone had to use that phrase in literal terms, but we get to, lol!)

I didn't mind giving away things, but I couldn't bear to throw away stuff. And, really, it came down to a "perfectly good" Mr Coffee with a busted handle and really expensive clothes...from the early Eighties. Things that had no value at all, but were harder than hell to part with.

I lost track of the number of people who asked me if it wasn't cathartic to get rid of a lifetime accumulation of junk. And I'd say yes, sure...much the way standing in the garden watching your house burn down would be, I imagine. A nihilistic sort of catharsis, where you realize everything you've accumulated in a lifetime of work and acquisition is complete and utter rubbish.

Ahem. Excuse me for the threadjack. The dark, icy threadjack 

Oh I don't know, dark and icy is all part of some aspects of this process, for many of us!  It is hard to deal with the material stuff -- parting with it, sorting through it, being shocked by it for one reason or another. All part of the "severing ties" too, leaving things behind, starting again. To many it perhaps doesn't mean much, but I think some of us find it a wrench and a bizarrely difficult experience -- you're not alone Stoatula. 

I didn't mind giving away things, but I couldn't bear to throw away stuff. And, really, it came down to a "perfectly good" Mr Coffee with a busted handle and really expensive clothes...from the early Eighties. Things that had no value at all, but were harder than hell to part with.

I lost track of the number of people who asked me if it wasn't cathartic to get rid of a lifetime accumulation of junk. And I'd say yes, sure...much the way standing in the garden watching your house burn down would be, I imagine. A nihilistic sort of catharsis, where you realize everything you've accumulated in a lifetime of work and acquisition is complete and utter rubbish.

Ahem. Excuse me for the threadjack. The dark, icy threadjack 

lol...I've already begun the "cleaning out" process and cleaned my garage and daughter's play room and threw out anything that I hadn't thought about or used in the past 5 years and toys that my daughter doesn't play with.  Surprisingly it actually felt good to do it.  Most of the stuff wouldn't sell in a garage sale, so I just tossed it, but some stuff I kept to sell.  I even tossed several journals that I had written over there years (after shredding them).  I didn't want to read them and didn't want anyone else to read them, so it was time for them to go.  It really felt like I was getting rid of an old life to start a new one...I was surprised at how easy it was. 

I too am a overly organized person, like some other posters here.  After doring the "cleaning out" that I did, I don't think the packing up process will be that difficult...but I've only been in my house 4 years and tend to be a minimalist when it comes to hanging on to things. 

I even tossed several journals that I had written over there years (after shredding them).  I didn't want to read them and didn't want anyone else to read them, so it was time for them to go.  It really felt like I was getting rid of an old life to start a new one...I was surprised at how easy it was.

Now, that I did do and enjoy. A few old journals, and lots of old letters. I didn't want to read them again, and I sure didn't want my husband reading them after I get run over by the bus. Not that there was anything good in them, you understand. Just solipsistic me, whining.

Though one old journal did sneak its way into a box of books, I noticed. "You crafty bastard!" I thought when I saw it.

It's a pain in the ass to rent your house. I'm doing it and it's working out okay for me, but it's just another thing to worry about. I have excellent tenants now, but the previous ones were very needy. If I knew I wasn't ever moving back to the US I would definitely look into selling it, but I can't say that is the case just yet, so I'll hold on to it.

I've got a management company handling all that rental stuff for me, because there's no way I feel like dealing with tenants.  The company gets 10% of the rent, does credit checks on prospective tennants, handles calls from tennants when things need to be fixed, hires people to fix said things, and inspects the place twice a year to make sure it's all ok.  I highly recommend it. 

I had a bizarre and agonizing process/experience with physically packing my belongings, which may not be typical:
For some reason it took me two whole months to pack personal belongings into boxes. I was packing every evening after coming home from work, and then on the weekends, and it felt like an endless, miserable experience. Wrapping breakables carefully, making decisions about waht goes where, finding/buying boxes and countless rolls of tape. I was doing it by myself which could explain why it dragged out. I found it hard to make decisions about how to pack boxes so that I was making the best use of all the space but without making the individual box so heavy that I couldn't even lift it myself.

For some reason it all made me really freaked out. It may have been just "me" -- I am almost Asperger-like in my need for order and routine and being settled and rooted, and even though at the time I had a reason to look forward to moving for a relationship, the uprooting itself was frightening to me. So the packing became bizarrely challenging for me and I was in brain fog for most of the six months I was preparing. It felt very hard to organize the whole thing alone -- I would hope or wish that anyone doing this has a partner right there with them to help, or friends and family. I found it scary and my decision-making foggy doing it alone. Or...of course...get a moving company who packs for you!! I wanted to cut costs and was very happy with the shipping company I chose, but packing myself took a toll on me in a weird way.

I can sure relate to that.  I know I'll be like that.  I think that's partly why I just can't get moving on this.  There will be so much to do and I'll take ages over it.

I lost track of the number of people who asked me if it wasn't cathartic to get rid of a lifetime accumulation of junk. And I'd say yes, sure...much the way standing in the garden watching your house burn down would be, I imagine. A nihilistic sort of catharsis, where you realize everything you've accumulated in a lifetime of work and acquisition is complete and utter rubbish.

DH favors the catharsis.  His feelings about all the stuff from his mother's house were that it would be easier just to toss it all in the rubbish rather than try to decide whether to sell it or donate or whatever.  It was the agony of the decisions.  We found it was easier for me to go through all the papers, etc. in her desk because I didn't stop every two minutes to go "Oooh, here's a letter from Aunt Tilly" or "Look, a photo of Mum at Bognor".  I could weed through it much quicker because those weren't my memories.

This is a great thread --- and it also helped me decide to rent my townhouse instead of selling it.  And I'm certainly using a management agency to handle it. 

Also, I don't believe anyone has mentioned it but I plan on donating my car to Purple Hearts Car Donation Program.  It's a beat up '92 Camry that will certainly be put to good use.

This is a great thread --- and it also helped me decide to rent my townhouse instead of selling it.  And I'm certainly using a management agency to handle it. 

Also, I don't believe anyone has mentioned it but I plan on donating my car to Purple Hearts Car Donation Program.  It's a beat up '92 Camry that will certainly be put to good use.

That's where I donated my car before I left too. It was too old to sell but ran great. Hope someone is getting use out of it.