The official UKY inlaw venting thread

I may be stating the obvious (or obviously stupid) but can you just tell her it is too inconvenient and she will have to change her plans.  If she feels the consequences of paying to have tickets changed, etc. then maybe she will think twice next time.

Mine also drives me nuts because I think she has an aversion to overweight people. Not that I enjoy being overweight now, but she has to make comments about it to myself and my husband.  She's a size 8 (uk) and eats nothing but crap (instant coffee, sugar and cigarettes).  Cakes, cookies, donuts, candy, ice cream- you name it!  She eats a child's dream diet!  She's small but is on medication for her cholesterol.  She's a heart attack waiting to happen.  I may be overweight now but all of my blood labs came back in safe, normal limits!  When I first came over, my husband gave me some sweet treats or things I liked on prior visits.  If she saw us eating any of it, I got to hear "Oh Amanda! You'll have to go for a walk in the field after eating that!" and "You should walk into town and back in order to eat something like that!"  She even makes comments to his sister who is not a big girl at all (but used to be a little overweight).  I also think she equates weight with laziness.

The absolute worst! Bless your heart, i HATE that sort of thing, at the end of the day, it's just bullying and totally not on. My mum is a classic for this and pretty much passed onto me all my hang ups with food. Geez a life time of never being thin enough - thanks ma!

I may be stating the obvious (or obviously stupid) but can you just tell her it is too inconvenient and she will have to change her plans.  If she feels the consequences of paying to have tickets changed, etc. then maybe she will think twice next time.

Of course I can't speak for Geeta, but from experience with my MIL I know that would go over like a ton of bricks.  Bricks that were dropped by her evil, son-stealing, daughter-in-law.

Of course I can't speak for Geeta, but from experience with my MIL I know that would go over like a ton of bricks.  Bricks that were dropped by her evil, son-stealing, daughter-in-law.

My MIL is similar about overstepping boundaries.  I have had to decide what I will and won't put up with and draw the line.  Sometimes there are tears, sometimes she pleasantly surprises me but at least I am a bit less stressed dealing with her.

Sadly all she says is 'we won't inconvenience you at all, just go about your plans and we will accomodate ourselves.' 

We did clarify that she wasn't intending to just drop in on my parents and stay with them for days on end...supposedly she has some other friends in Chicago that she had planned to stay with, and they just wanted to visit with my parents.  My poor dad nearly had a heart attack before I found all this out.  I made DH ring my dad up and explain. 

I truly think they were.

DH just rang and said he talked to her and she had already booked her ticket to stay an extra 5 days with us after my FIL leaves.  WTFWTFWTF?  Plus she booked the tickets out of LaGuardia which is a nightmare for us.  Hello!  This is why we wanted to discuss all of this with you!  She changed hers to leave out of Hartford but we still have to drive to LGA and back twice to get them and to drop FIL off. 

AND!  She never even called or emailed my parents to ask if she could stay with them, despite DH asking her to.  He was shocked when I told him they had nae clue.  Shocked, I tells ya. 

You are almost making me appreciate my in-laws... well in-law really. 

My FIL just pretends we don't exist.  He only sends dh a card on his birthday but never calls us, never picks up his phone, never wants to speak to us and only comes to visit if dh's grandma wants to come up!!  It makes me so mad, because it really affects my dh but he'd never admit it.  He gives me the saddest look when his dad won't answer the phone and then tries to cover it with an 'oh well' attitude.  I could kill my FIL over the way he treats dh like his second class son.  And when we do get him on the phone, he crows about his younger son, dh's half brother.      

You are almost making me appreciate my in-laws... well in-law really. 

My FIL just pretends we don't exist.  He only sends dh a card on his birthday but never calls us, never picks up his phone, never wants to speak to us and only comes to visit if dh's grandma wants to come up!!  It makes me so mad, because it really affects my dh but he'd never admit it.  He gives me the saddest look when his dad won't answer the phone and then tries to cover it with an 'oh well' attitude.  I could kill my FIL over the way he treats dh like his second class son.  And when we do get him on the phone, he crows about his younger son, dh's half brother.      

That totally sucks.  I mean, when it's your in-laws you can still write it off to them not warming to you, but there's no excuse when it's your own child! 

Just had a loooooong argument with the MIL who is officially a giant racist homophobic bigot ... and proud of it! Oh, and quite drunk. Thank goodness my SIL was here to help me make my points.

Just had a loooooong argument with the MIL who is officially a giant racist homophobic bigot ... and proud of it! Oh, and quite drunk. Thank goodness my SIL was here to help me make my points.

I think it's time to tell her about your dream of adopting a gay Malawian baby.

I think it's time to tell her about your dream of adopting a gay Malawian baby.

I almost wish I liked children!! I'd do it!!

She actually said tonight, "I don't actually hate gays. I feel sorry for them."

And we tried for a good half hour to get her to drunkenly define exactly what she means by "normal."

I almost wish I liked children!! I'd do it!!

She actually said tonight, "I don't actually hate gays. I feel sorry for them."

And we tried for a good half hour to get her to drunkenly define exactly what she means by "normal."

Oh my.

Perhaps you should become best friends with Chaz Bono.  I bet that would make her head explode.  Which would be win-win - no MIL and[/i] free Cher tickets!!

Oh my.

Perhaps you should become best friends with Chaz Bono.  I bet that would make her head explode.  Which would be win-win - no MIL and[/i] free Cher tickets!!

Maybe I should dump DH, take up with Chaz and then as a couple we could adopt the Malawian baby!

There's a plan!

Maybe I should dump DH, take up with Chaz and then as a couple we could adopt the Malawian baby!

But dumping DH would make her too happy! You should form a cool unconventional three way marriage and tell everyone about it by appearing in Heat magazine, with lots of pictures of the 3 of you taking care of your cute, gay malawian baby!

But dumping DH would make her too happy! You should form a cool unconventional three way marriage and tell everyone about it by appearing in Heat magazine, with lots of pictures of the 3 of you taking care of your cute, gay malawian baby!