The official UKY inlaw venting thread

She actually said tonight, "I don't actually hate gays. I feel sorry for them."

This is my MIL's stance too.  I think she prays for them every night. 

But dumping DH would make her too happy! You should form a cool unconventional three way marriage and tell everyone about it by appearing in Heat magazine, with lots of pictures of the 3 of you taking care of your cute, gay malawian baby!

How Swintonesque!

My dh finally got ahold of FIL, and told him I was becoming a citizen.  He was mostly unimpressed because his second wife is from Kenya and went through this before.  To be nice, dh asked him if he wanted to come up for it.  He said no, it's not a big deal until he heard my parents will be here.  I'm not sure if he now wants to come to look good in front of my parents (who think I am making it up how awful he is) or if he just likes my parents, but not us, but he's now going to be around for this.  I hope he's not coming to our party because I will be drinking and I won't care if I tell him he's an @ss.

There's a chicken roasting in the oven ... and the MIL just made herself a tuna sandwich. Every freaking night she does something like this.

There's a chicken roasting in the oven ... and the MIL just made herself a tuna sandwich. Every freaking night she does something like this.

My boyfriend does that, it sends me fracking mental!
I advocate serving her dinner sans chicken/potatoes - just vegetables and saying "I figured you wouldn't want any more protein or carbs after your sandwich"
Luckily with my boyfriend I just steal it out of his hand and hit him with it   That might also work!

After my husband and I were married, his father suddenly became very cold to me.  Before, he was extra extra nice, always singing my praises and telling DH how great I was... Now he has nothing to say to me unless he is asking me to get something for him and actually asked my DH "what will you do when she takes all your money and leaves you in the gutter?" (!?!?)
Today, DH went to his parents house to tell them that my visa had been approved and his dad immediately turned to the jobs section of the newspaper and pointed out a bunch of jobs I should apply for!   I've had a visa for about 3 hours and I'm immediately supposed to begin the job hunt?  I'm not even moving until mid-August.

Why am I a gold digger all of a sudden!? Why wasnt I one before we were married?  WTF am I missing here?

I advocate serving her dinner sans chicken/potatoes - just vegetables and saying "I figured you wouldn't want any more protein or carbs after your sandwich"

I wish I'd thought of that! 

Why am I a gold digger all of a sudden!? Why wasnt I one before we were married?  WTF am I missing here?

That's very strange. He's not joking with you, is he? Though you'd probably be able to tell. Is there anyone in his family who isn't a big fan of yours? Perhaps he/she planted something in his head. Either way, it's not very nice. 

Why am I a gold digger all of a sudden!? Why wasnt I one before we were married?  WTF am I missing here?

That's just awful! I had a boyfriend once who dumped me because he thought I was a gold digger because I mentioned once in passing how successful he was. Perhaps something got taken out of context? Still no excuse!

Why am I a gold digger all of a sudden!? Why wasnt I one before we were married?  WTF am I missing here?

Did it start after you lost your job?  Perhaps he thinks you aim to just lounge around and let David pay for everything, and he's trying to not-so-subtly/nicely nudge you in the direction of working once you move.  Still not nice, and very random, though...what's David's take on it?  Does he have the sort of relationship with his father where they could sit down and David could have a chance to say that it bothers him/you when his father says stuff like that?

For the most part, I love my in-laws to bits but after a week's holiday, my MIL was starting to get on my nerves just a wee little bit.  She has a tendency to want to organise everyone & everything - supervising & overseeing & directing & all (even when it's completely unnecessary).  Normally, that's okay in small doses, but after a week - oy vey!  Plus if she wants you to do something, she has a tendency to be a bit shouty with your name - like calling out FIL's name repeatedly - "T----!  T----!  T----!"  Until he hears & responds.  She was doing this with me, so I followed BIL's example, by responding, shouting back (within easy earshot) "YES?!!!!!" 

She slipped & fell on the deck at the cottage where we were staying, hurting her back - yet refused to sit down & take it easy.  We were loading up the car to go home, and she kept lifting these heavy things even though we were telling her to leave it.  So as FIL was driving to our house last night & we were talking about settling in for the night when we got to our house, I said, 'And when we get there, J--- (MIL) is going to sit on the sofa and be good and do as she's told.' 

They left for home this morning.  It's nice to have a bit of peace and quiet again, even though we all had a good time on holiday. 

Did it start after you lost your job?  Perhaps he thinks you aim to just lounge around and let David pay for everything, and he's trying to not-so-subtly/nicely nudge you in the direction of working once you move.  Still not nice, and very random, though...what's David's take on it?  Does he have the sort of relationship with his father where they could sit down and David could have a chance to say that it bothers him/you when his father says stuff like that?

It started before I lost my job and he hasnt even told them that I was laid off. David says his dad is just a jerk and to ignore it.  I am going to treat him like a bully - if you ignore/dont react to a bully, they wont get any satisfaction out of bullying anymore and will stop.. (right?).  A grouchy FIL will not win!

I think i'd hint to a large inheritance, just to get him off your back.

Vicky

I think i'd hint to a large inheritance, just to get him off your back.

Vicky

HA! That's reminds me of my mom: she said to always remind people of "your trust fund". (Which, for me, consisted of zero dollars and lots of books).

My gripe with my MIL is not how she treats me.  She treats me very well, actually. But she seems constantly surprised that my DH is the wonderful, caring person that he is.  She's constantly warning me against him and worried that I'll "let him treat me badly".  I just tell her that I'm an equal pain in the rear, but REALLY, he's her son!  She should be nicer!

Fantastic idea Vicky!!  I am defo going to do that

I haven't posted in a while so didn't see the comments people made in regards to how bad my in-laws are.  I'm back on page 8 of this thread.

My husband has a hard time trying to 'man it up' to his parents.  They treat him like he's 15 and he just accepts it.  Honestly it's hard to respect a man who behaves that way around his parents.  But the only spousal support I've really been able to get is not being forced to go around his family anymore, which has suited me just fine.

My husband will also eat a snack before dinner or he will not try the food and add extra salt, pepper or whatever.  He does this a lot.  So the next time we have something for dinner that has a sauce I'm going to make it extra spicy so that when he adds his extra stuff it will be WAY TOO HOT!!  Since my husband hates to waste food, he'll eat it anyway.  This should work.