The official UKY inlaw venting thread

That is so inconsiderate 

That is so inconsiderate 

That was just the start out of it. Turns out my future mother in law changed the time because she scheduled massages for herself, her daughter, and her husbands sister at the time they would have been coming for supper. I wasn't invited or included in any way.

When they first got to our apt, she gave me my graduation present (I graduated three months ago and have seen her about four times since then). I got an ove glove and a magnet. She didn't even bother to wrap them. Then she proceed to talk about the massages the three of them were getting. (her treat)

Yeah, I saw that on another thread. My ex father-out-law (I've had a few *blush* ) once bought a Christmas cruise for his wife and daughter (who was still at home at the time). He also bought them a new wardrobe and expensive jewellery to wear on the ship.

On the cruise, they had the same waitress every night who had to work on Christmas day (serving them), so he bought her a very expensive bottle of perfume as a gift.

My sister-outlaw said, "I didn't get any perfume!!!".




We got a frying pan, I sh*t you not.

So, right now I am sitting here, worrying about telling my inlaws that the latch to the dryer is broken.  I have a load in the washer, but the minute I take it out, my MIL is going to try to put a load in.  It's sort of like when a dog pees on a tree where another dog goes I think.  My BIL isn't home.  My husband isn't home.  I don't want to have it implied that I am a moron who can't operate appliances (as has been implied in the past). 

I know I can buy a new latch, but it will take days to get here I imagine.  My MIL is totally adverse to hanging crap up, and I can just imagine the whinging.

I already am upset with them from last night with them bleating on about immigration.  They think that I should have just been able to come into the UK and apply for citizenship.  My father in law knows absolutely nothing about immigration except for what he reads in The Daily Mail.  When I pointed out that it's not that easy, he asked me why there are so many immigrants.  Apparently, some friend of a friend brought his American wife over around the time we got married and she had citizenship immediately. Of course, we know there's more to the story than that because it didn't work that way in the early naughties.  Yet, despite him not knowing anything except that she might have had student visas, we were obviously stupid and misinformed (even though our immigration adviser was someone who my MIL works for), I shouldn't have had to apply for my ILR (try explaining ILR to people who think that you are entitled to citizenship immediately), and that my brother in law will "do it right the first time" when he brings his non-EEA national fiancee and her child here.

Of course, my brother in law seems to think that the current rules are a part of the new legislation and no amount of explaining will erase that misconception.  If it were that hard, there wouldn't be so many foreigners!

You have the patience of a saint, i swear.

They'll soon found out how difficult it is when they go through it themselves.

{{{hugs}}} for the meantime

Thanks. I know they will, but I really hope they understand that the tough rules aren't anything new.

My brother in law came home and really was okay about the latch and diffused any direct confrontation by my MIL.  She may have been angry, but I really don't care at this point.  We paid for half the dryer (as a gift for her).  I am willing to pay for the latch.  I don't want to feel guilty about it.  I am not even sure if it was my fault it broke.

So much laundry stress in this house.

Thanks. I know they will, but I really hope they understand that the tough rules aren't anything new.

My brother in law came home and really was okay about the latch and diffused any direct confrontation by my MIL.  She may have been angry, but I really don't care at this point.  We paid for half the dryer (as a gift for her).  I am willing to pay for the latch.  I don't want to feel guilty about it.  I am not even sure if it was my fault it broke.

So much laundry stress in this house.

I seriously don't know how you manage to live with them without just going crazy, I have much less patience then you do! I'm sure if I lived there I'd be on trial for murder by now

So much laundry stress in this house.

aren't you two meant to be moving out soon?

Yeah, and in some ways I think it makes things worse.  Things are starting to pile up in the common areas.  Our turn in the kitchen is getting later again. My father-in-law trying to give advice about our move (by belittling how we're going to go about something). So on.

The thing is, I have genuine affection for these people.  I just wouldn't choose to spend a lot of time with them.  Not because I think they are horrible, but to avoid friction.  I definitely would not choose to live with them.

My father-in-law trying to give advice about our move (by belittling how we're going to go about something). So on.

ugh.

They think that I should have just been able to come into the UK and apply for citizenship.  My father in law knows absolutely nothing about immigration except for what he reads in The Daily Mail.  When I pointed out that it's not that easy, he asked me why there are so many immigrants.  Apparently, some friend of a friend brought his American wife over around the time we got married and she had citizenship immediately. Of course, we know there's more to the story than that because it didn't work that way in the early naughties.  Yet, despite him not knowing anything except that she might have had student visas, we were obviously stupid and misinformed (even though our immigration adviser was someone who my MIL works for), I shouldn't have had to apply for my ILR (try explaining ILR to people who think that you are entitled to citizenship immediately), and that my brother in law will "do it right the first time" when he brings his non-EEA national fiancee and her child here.

My FIL would give this same speech, probably. No matter which subject you bring up, he is the resident expert. He always tells us we are doing something wrong or should go about it another way, and how so-and-so's son did this or that. DH gets so annoyed with him sometimes. I just laugh it off and make jokes about him being old school, and a grumpy old man. But it's easy to do that when we can go back to our house and forget about it.  No way could I live with them. I feel for you. They sound a lot like my in-laws. I love them, but if we had to live with them, I would probably lose my grip on reality and spiral down into madness. Hopefully you can get out soon and then actually enjoy the time you spend with them when you choose to do so, rather than being forced to interact with them all the time and not have your own space. x

I just came upstairs with my coffee, and encountered a semi-nude MIL on the landing midway between her room and the bathroom. This is not the first time it's happened. I don't really want to think about it, but I assume she sleeps in the buff. Then when she emerges, she holds her dressing gown up in front of her, rather than actually putting it on. That's fine if you meet her head-on, but the rear view is not something anyone needs to see.

I just came upstairs with my coffee, and encountered a semi-nude MIL on the landing midway between her room and the bathroom. This is not the first time it's happened. I don't really want to think about it, but I assume she sleeps in the buff. Then when she emerges, she holds her dressing gown up in front of her, rather than actually putting it on. That's fine if you meet her head-on, but the rear view is not something anyone needs to see.

Sounds like my mom.  If you think it's bad seeing it, imagine how your husband feels.  At least, we were always embarrassed when we'd have sleep overs and someone would catch a glimpse of my mom in some state of nakedness.

Sounds like my mom.  If you think it's bad seeing it, imagine how your husband feels.  At least, we were always embarrassed when we'd have sleep overs and someone would catch a glimpse of my mom in some state of nakedness.

What is wrong with them?!?!

What is wrong with them?!?!

Maybe deep down they're hoping someone catches a glimpse!