The official UKY inlaw venting thread

OMG!  I can just see your face when you opened that!

Right?!  It was like 'and what's next??' 

The soap is the one that baffles me.  I can see her thinking the rest were well-thought out gifts, but what on Earth would prompt someone to think, "I know!  I'll send them some soap!"

This is along the lines of packets of trail mix she's picked up at the shop, or random cheap pens she's bought at the dollar store. I'm thinking it's just filler.  At least my BIL once sent us some nicer soap (still dollar store, but a cut above your average Dove)! 

The only, only one that was sort of thought out was the puzzle...she had seen us doing a puzzle when she came for a visit in the summer.  So I think that's where that idea came from.  And the plaque...she put it in an envelope, and on the envelope it said something about how my DH's grandparents used to have a similar one on their kitchen wall, so this could be our version of that. 

Needless to say, other than the envelope, none of this was wrapped.

FMIL has informed DF that SHE is going with me when I pick out flowers, as she is paying for some of them (rehearsal dinner, boutonnieres) . I'm having a few issues with this:

1. The florist is a family friend of DF's family. I love her work, but I'm afraid she is going to listen to what FMIL want's over what I want.  

2. I know EXACTLY what I want for my flowers. I want this: http://www.rebeccassilverrose.com/weddings/bridal-bouquets/bouquet-pink-gerbera-daisies-roses-hypericum.jpg minus the green-pea looking things. And white rose boutonnieres for the guys.  

3. Since this is one thing I'm 100% sure on, FMIL's opinion and involvement is not needed or wanted  

4. She didn't bother calling me to ask if she could come or anything. She had my phone number and email. She knows how to text too. Instead she relayed the info through DF, as she always does.  

5. I'm still not over the whole ove-glove and magnet graduation present thing. Or her ignoring my birthday. Or the re-gifted gift card for xmas last year. Or ignoring my birthday last year. Or the purple-and-gold-egg thing for xmas the year before that. Or the bridesmaid dress drama (long story). Or the fact that every time they come here all they want to do is go gamble in smokey casinos, then get annoyed when I won't go. (I have asthma. Smoke is the #1 thing that triggers it.)    

I don't know what to do. I dont want to be rude and tell her she can't come when I meet with the florist. But at the same time, she doesn't have any business being there.

I don't know what to do. I dont want to be rude and tell her she can't come when I meet with the florist. But at the same time, she doesn't have any business being there.

I like the bouquet!

Would it be the end of the world if you let her choose what she's paying for?  That might be the most diplomatic way to deal with it without causing too much drama.

However, if it were me, I'd let her come but make a point to steer the conversation with the florist.  If she tries to take over or voice an opinion, you could always thank her for her thoughts, but let her know you have a different vision for what you want.

My blessing this year is that SIL has agreed no present between adults anymore: a huge relief for hubby and me, as every year it causes stress, as we open her present and have no idea what it is - ever - and it is so embarrassing and I try so hard to be gracious, but I think I am rubbish at it! So relieved.
some previous unidentified presents
1. a 'knicker' bag the size of a postage stamp with embroidered knickers on it that no true traveller would ever use
2. a giant tatty silver nut cracker, apparently shaped like a nut, that I thought was a giant silver hedgehog
3. toaster tongs, which I thought were a single set of cheater chopsticks
4. wine glass trinkets like earrings, supposedly to help you identify you glass when you are too drunk   

My blessing this year is that SIL has agreed no present between adults anymore: a huge relief for hubby and me, as every year it causes stress, as we open her present and have no idea what it is - ever - and it is so embarrassing and I try so hard to be gracious, but I think I am rubbish at it! So relieved.
some previous unidentified presents
1. a 'knicker' bag the size of a postage stamp with embroidered knickers on it that no true traveller would ever use
2. a giant tatty silver nut cracker, apparently shaped like a nut, that I thought was a giant silver hedgehog
3. toaster tongs, which I thought were a single set of cheater chopsticks
4. wine glass trinkets like earrings, supposedly to help you identify you glass when you are too drunk   

Now that *is* a real blessing!

Now that *is* a real blessing!

Maybe I should put it in what I am thankful for....

My MIL has bought us 8 place settings of the Denby stuff we got for our wedding. We already have 4. Now, in any other instance this would be really nice of her, but we can not fit 12 people in our flat standing up, let alone have them for dinner. Where we're going to store these, no idea. She was going to ship them to us which would cost a fortune, but we've asked her to hold on to them until we figure out where we will be living in the next 6 months or so.

Ugh. First, I have an email from my MIL asking for gift ideas for the boys. The easiest thing would be for her to order DVDs via Amazon, but getting her to understand the US versus UK site will be a major chore. Along the same lines, she fell for one of those PayPal fraudulent emails so has had to cancel her debit and credit cards. She has no business doing online banking/ordering etc. She just can't cope with it all.

To cap it off, in one of the many emails she's recently sent me, she told me how pleased she was to see I'd added their family name to mine (I kept my maiden name when I got married). I could not for the life of me figure out what on earth she was talking about until I saw in the 'To:' field of the email, where SHE had put my name from her contact list, she has me down as Caryn Maidenname Marriedname. It was not ME who did this, it was her! But she's so easily confused, she now thinks I've done it... ummm, HELLO? Your son and I are having major marital problems. This would not be the time I'd consider changing my name!!!

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!

I don't have any inlaws beacuse hubby and I are so old ,we're orphans but I remember the days and you guys have my sympathy.

I got this humor book from the library called "The little book of Christmas stress"

When I read this page I thought of all you suffering with inlaws and busted out laughing.

  "Amuse your inlaws by sellotaping a sprig of mistletoe to the buckle of your belt when you go round to visit them."

FMIL has hinted that she thinks people who like pink are ditzy and she has made it very clear that she HATES pink. Back of b*tch. Pink is my favorite color and it's my wedding. I WILL have all the pink i want  

FMIL has hinted that she thinks people who like pink are ditzy and she has made it very clear that she HATES pink. Back of b*tch. Pink is my favorite color and it's my wedding. I WILL have all the pink i want  

I hope you don't back down even if she is paying for some of the flowers. It's still your wedding and you should have as many pink flowers as you like. Good luck with it cause it seems like she is not going to back down. Maybe she is just excited to be involved but still. You should really ask your DF to have a word with her about this. If you haven't already of course.

FMIL has hinted that she thinks people who like pink are ditzy and she has made it very clear that she HATES pink. Back of b*tch. Pink is my favorite color and it's my wedding. I WILL have all the pink i want  

For Pete's sake, how ridiculous.    Reminds me of a good friend of mine who loves pink.  She had a wool winter coat in pink.  Her therapist suggested she was seeking attention by having a pink coat, which almost nobody else has, instead of a black or grey coat which is more normal.  Thank god she got rid of that quack.

For Pete's sake, how ridiculous.    Reminds me of a good friend of mine who loves pink.  She had a wool winter coat in pink.  Her therapist suggested she was seeking attention by having a pink coat, which almost nobody else has, instead of a black or grey coat which is more normal.  Thank god she got rid of that quack.

What's wrong with seeking attention by wearing a pink coat anyway?! Sounds like positive and harmless attention to me. 

Stand your ground on the pink, IME! It's your wedding.

What's wrong with seeking attention by wearing a pink coat anyway?! Sounds like positive and harmless attention to me. 

I agree.

I agree.

Maybe the problem is not with the people wearing the pink coats, but with all us black coat people who want to blend in and be anonymous!     (counting myself in that group, so please don't be offended!)