Generally, my in-laws have been fantastic, and I genuinely like them and get along with them well. However, after living with them for a year, there are some things that are beginning to get on my nerves. For one thing, MIL treats me like a child. I suspect this is an extension of the fact that DH is the baby, and she still does his laundry and makes his lunch for him when he's home (you can't prevent her: DH has tried on a number of occasions to make his own lunch, she simply won't have it). But there's this underlying sense that because I'm still learning my steps in the UK, and because I had trouble finding a job, and because DH and I haven't been able to get our own place yet, that I am somehow incompetent and need to be done for. Like for example, this afternoon I took a bath, which I don't think is a weird or notable activity for a Sunday afternoon. But MIL came up as I was running it, and said in shocked tones "Are you having a bath! But we don't have the heating on! You'll freeze! *tut tut tut*" Then off she went to turn the heating on to a tropical level (seriously, this house is kept
so hot). I wanted to scream "I am 31 years old and have spent most of that time living in places much colder than this! I am not a child or an idiot!" I guess that doesn't seem like a very proportional response now that I read it, but I've been holding this in for a while
Another thing is that I like to take walks at night, I always have (I used to walk my dog at night growing up), but every time I go out she makes some comment about how cold it is or be careful you don't slip or don't get lost or I hope you're not kidnapped/murdered/raped etc, despite the fact that we live in a very quiet, peaceful, safe little town, and I always stay in the residential areas. I used to go walking at night in the centre of Prague, which is much more dangerous than here, and also in Syracuse, NY, with no trauma. I do understand that she's just being concerned, but I wish she would give me credit for having a bit of sense. It's all just sort of added up over time and now I'm finding it much more annoying than I did when I first arrived. She (and the whole family for that matter) have the same attitude to DH, talking to him like he's a little boy when he's 36, better educated than all of them, and has lived in three foreign countries. When he and I lived in Japan, he was perfectly capable of doing his own laundry and getting his own lunch, and all the things that MIL doesn't seem to think he can handle without her help, bless his little cotton socks. And it doesn't help that my SIL (DH's brother's partner) has a high-paying job and owns her own house, so that is the standard by which I am judged. She's also ten years older than I am and has lived in the same place all her life, so of course she's better established. That doesn't seem to matter, though. MIL is also constantly asking about DH's and my plans, wanting in on our private jokes, and making comments about Every. Single. Thing. I. Do. . . . I'll just be really glad when we get our own place and can live without being watched and judged constantly. /rant
