The official UKY inlaw venting thread

I couldn't agree more!

I wish you and your family all the best Weby.

Me, too and I totally agree with CB!

When we were leaving DH handed her the set of keys she had given us years ago and then she looked at me and said 'Well goodbye since I'll never see you again. I never cared for you one bit and i hope you're happy ruining my family.'

Weby, I can't imagine what a relief it must be to be getting as far away from that lady as possible.  Good luck again on your move, and don't give her a second thought!

My MIL is a piece of work..she is still taking diggs at me even now.  Talking about cleaning the house out of DH's father and I said call the charity once you bag up clothes they will come get it - she said...This isn't America and DH had to stop her and say woah we have 3.5 million bags laying around for charity help in that house.
Grrrr

My MIL is a piece of work..she is still taking diggs at me even now.  Talking about cleaning the house out of DH's father and I said call the charity once you bag up clothes they will come get it - she said...This isn't America and DH had to stop her and say woah we have 3.5 million bags laying around for charity help in that house.
Grrrr

This isn't America--what an odd thing for her to say!  Call and they will come and get it!  Any clothes not suitable to sell (too old fashioned, etc.) will go for rags--it will get recycled that way and the charity will get money for the rags.  They will be happy for books and brica-brac as well.

Oh I must vent! I've just had my first child and my MIL seems to have turned up the snark--The first time she saw us out of the hospital she asked me when I was going to start working out/get myself back in shape. At 4 weeks she wanted to know why I wasn't in my pre-pregnancy clothes yet? At 6 weeks she complained that all the babster ever wears is sleep suits, 8 weeks she came to visit for the afternoon and complained that I wouldn't go wake up the baby so she could see more of him. Now she is calling up and whining to my husband about me not visiting her with the baby, but I'm the one with an infant and no driving license! It's like she comes up with something new every time we see her (she also does not approve of cloth diapers, the amount he is being held, breast feeding, or not using dummies!) and it is making me really not want to see her at all! Argh!

Oh I must vent! I've just had my first child and my MIL seems to have turned up the snark--The first time she saw us out of the hospital she asked me when I was going to start working out/get myself back in shape. At 4 weeks she wanted to know why I wasn't in my pre-pregnancy clothes yet? At 6 weeks she complained that all the babster ever wears is sleep suits, 8 weeks she came to visit for the afternoon and complained that I wouldn't go wake up the baby so she could see more of him. Now she is calling up and whining to my husband about me not visiting her with the baby, but I'm the one with an infant and no driving license! It's like she comes up with something new every time we see her (she also does not approve of cloth diapers, the amount he is being held, breast feeding, or not using dummies!) and it is making me really not want to see her at all! Argh!

That's awful...sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with your MIL (btw, is she related to mine??).  I hope your DH is supportive!!   

Ooooh, I feel like I'm going to be in the exact same position with my MIL.
I'm trying to think positive thoughts about it all, but I just have this nagging feeling that the scrutiny I feel from her is going to triple after our son is born in 2 months. DH and I have already talked about the fact that this is OUR son and he is going to need to stand up to his parents when it comes to the way we parent.
I am sooo not looking forward to this.
Hang in there, Missjoules!

I am also finding my MIL frustrating now that I have recently had a baby. On my first day home from the hospital, I got out of bed after taking a nap with the baby and found her in the baby's room, completely rearranging EVERYTHING. When she saw me, she told me that my husband had called and asked her to 'clean up the room'...only for me to later find out that my husband never called and asked her to do this!! I was livid, especially considering that we had things organized in that room in a very specific way and now I can't find ANYTHING I need, including the stack of instruction manuals we need for all of the baby things we bought.

She also seems semi-obsessed with the baby and calls nearly in tears because she misses the baby so much. If my husband doesn't call her for a few days, she calls and tells him how worried she has been about the baby because she didn't hear from us and she constantly finds ways to suggest to my husband that we aren't caring for the baby the way she would...i.e. she tried to convince him that we should give the baby a bottle of water before my milk had come in (which is totally outdated and forbidden by the midwives!) and she thinks we're going to kill the baby because we sometimes co-sleep for part of the night while I am breastfeeding, etc.

She is coming back down to visit for 4 days next weekend and I am absolutely dreading it.

Wow...I feel for you all.  I have DSD's and it is hard enough dealing with that.  If we are blessed enough to get preggo I want to move farther away just so we dont have this drama ;-)

Thanks ladies! It's such a shame to hear that others are having the same problems, but at least you all know where I'm coming from!

Camarinadoo, I hope that things turn out differently for you. At least you sound like you have a great husband who is willing to stand up to the ILs with you.

Lilybelle, I think we must have twins seperated at birth for MILs! I count my blessings that we live near enough that she doesn't have to stay for days at a time, I think I would go mad if she were here for four days! My MIL doesn't know about our co-sleeping arrangement (it is SO much easier when bfing), it's bad enough that when she was here once she went into our bedroom and came back freaking out "HOW CAN YOU LET HIM SLEEP LIKE THAT?!" ...He's laying on top of a fitted sheet, come on. Also, you were doing exactly what in my bedroom?

ChillyWilly, I completely understand wanting to move! We're a half hour away, so I would reccomend slightly further than that

My FFiL, when greeting me or saying goodbye, tries to kiss me on the lips. I understand that in some cultures this is how you do things, but it's not something I'm comfortable with, so I always turn my face and offer my cheek. I figured he'd either get the hint or I'd spend the rest of his life turning my face and everything would be hunky-dory. TBH, I'm not terribly thrilled about being kissed on the cheek (especialy before my DF and I got engaged and his father was quite open about figuring me for a gold-digging hussy) but I occasionally place Showing Willing and Keeping the Peace over my personal preferences.

When he came over for Easter dinner (yeah, I've been sitting on this post for a while) he told me that I'll be family soon and won't be able to turn my cheek then. 

 

I've suggested to my DF that he speak with his father about personal boundaries and, specifically, respecting mine. Here's hoping.

Gross. His comment suggests that he knows it bothers you and continues to do it regardless. Given the sexual connotations kissing can have this would creep be out big time.

Oh man that is uncomfortable.  If DF wont say anything and its been bothering you this long you may just have to say I am just not comfortable with it and be done.
sorry you have been sitting on it for so long!

I rarely even hug my in-laws anymore.  I find it all very uncomfortable and they don't make creepy comments.