The official UKY inlaw venting thread

Also this is probably a little bit petty but my MIL called the afternoon of my birthday and said to my husband "Are you going out? If you two are going out you leave the baby with me and NO ONE ELSE." And didn't even say happy birthday.

She knows full well that we won't be leaving the baby with anyone, he is still BFing and won't take a bottle at all. Not to mention that the last time we saw them she was talking about how rules for what foods he should/shouldn't be given don't apply to grandmothers 

I'm a little bit shocked that the MIL is actually a Step-MIL. I wonder how long she has been married to the FIL? I don't know, if it was his mom I could see her overreacting/having a hard time with him marrying and taking it out on his fiancée. But the fact that she is just his step-mum makes it all a little bit more bizarre to me.

Yes, I wondered that too.

Part 2 of the MIL-from-hell news (incident which has now made it as far as CNN, Time Magazine, Huffington Post, etc...), the bride-to-be's father strikes back:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/motherinlaw-from-hell-we-call-her-lsquomiss-fancy-pantsrsquo-says-bridersquos-father-2305189.html

Heee - so much for cordial relations between the families for the wedding! 

They call her 'Miss Fancy Pants' (or probably worse, I'm sure).

My parents made it work.  My mom's mother wouldn't speak to my dad at all.  So if she called and he answered she would hang up the phone and then call back a few minutes later and my mom would answer.

My dad's parents just never called. 

recently, DH decided to rehome 3 chihuahuas that his mother owned before she passed away.  it wasn't something he REALLY wanted to do, but he was being pushed by his brother to do it.

so last night, DH was telling me that his sister was messaging his phone ( we all have blackberry phones from the messenger service ) and, basically, tearing him down as a person.  she told DH that if he and i would want to get another dog in the future ( after our border collie passes away ) that it would be a definite NO.  she went on to tell him that he's incapable of caring for animals.  incapable of caring for a wife, a child, AND a new dog.  incapable of keeping the house clean.  incapable of doing ANYTHING for himself.   that if we don't like what she and B-I-L decide, we can sell the house and find a new place to live because it's their house too.

if they felt DH was incapable of caring for these animals, they could have stepped in and taken them if they felt they were better equipped to care for them! 

My parents & sisters are visiting me in a month- YAY! It is the first (and probably only) time they are coming. They will be here for 8 days and we are planning a trip to DH's parents for a day. I also assumed that my in-laws would come to London for a day.

DH just told me last night that the in-laws are planning to get a hotel near our house for 4 days my parents are here, plus we are going to there hometown for 1 day. This leaves a total of 3 days for me to spend alone with my family, 2 of which are getting them to and from the airport.

I feel really bad about being upset- but I was really looking forward to spending quality time with my family without having to ferry my in-laws around and plan things around them. We went on holiday to FL in April with my in-laws and which my parents came for 3 days, and I felt like I  had no quality time with my parents. I am sure my parents won't mind at all... its just that I pictured my stepdad and I going out to take sunrise photos of the city and going to tea with my mom and taking my sisters shopping, but now I have to factor other peoples needs into that and it just made me feel like they were "stealing my time".

I feel quite sick about the whole situation, as I don't want to feel annoyed, and I don't want to upset my DH by telling him I don't want his parents to come (for a ridiculous reason). Just need to vent... and maybe book all London hotel rooms that week

Awww.  Don't know how to answer this one.  So mental hugs to you.  Perhaps you can ask them to cut down the visit by one day, move the hometown visit up a day and tell your husband you want a day where you have the family all to yourself for a couple of days.  I don't see why it would be an issue.  And your reason is valid.  You miss them and you want to do special things between you guys for bonding time.  Maybe that's an idea?

Or another option is that your husband spends a few days entirely with his parents while you get to spend time with yours - call it child & parent days so that you both get alone time with your families.  Just another idea to float your way Danielle.

Or another option is that your husband spends a few days entirely with his parents while you get to spend time with yours - call it child & parent days so that you both get alone time with your families.  Just another idea to float your way Danielle.

Thanks for the ideas Sheriam & onetiger!
Unfortunately we spend at least one weekend a month with my inlaws (two this month), so we have plenty of alone time with them.
I am trying to convince them that they should come with us for a day to Cambridge and then we'll go to their town one night for dinner, so there won't be much point in coming down for so many days! We'll see.

I can 100% understand where you are coming from and I don't believe it is unthoughtful/selfish/unreasonable/ridiculous or however one wants to label it to ask them to give you the opportunity to spend some alone time with your family, since you never get to see them.  You deserve this time with them, as they are few and precious!  It is worth confronting the issue (tactfully of course) and to be honest they probably didn't even think about it from the same perspective you are and would most likely understand, specially with your newest idea.  Have a wonderful time with your family and try to stress too much. 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the moment.  Got some news, and I sort of don't want to say outright what it is as it is so specific.  Trying to sort it out right now.

When DH and I first met, his father was a bit reticent about the whole thing. They're each other's only family (there's an uncle and cousins in Canada but contact is sporadic) and my now FiL was convinced that I'd break DH's heart and steal all of his money, or convince DH to move to the US, leaving FiL all alone. He also made no secret of the fact that he doesn't like Americans (he's bitter about WWII) or immigrants. Needless to say, this was all a bit awkward for me.

He completely changed his tune when we announced our engagement, gave a beautiful impromptu speech at our wedding, and generally acts like I'm the best thing since sliced bread. The thing is... I'm still uncomfortable. It's not the kissing thing - he seems to have accepted the fact that we're not kiss-on-the-lips family. I'm just not comfortable around him.

Everyone who met him at the wedding was quite charmed by him, even the Americans - none of whom had to sit through a lecture on how we left the Brits high and dry during the war and then rebuilt everyone's cities and infrastructure except theirs - and I just want to scream that he's not!

Obviously I'm not ready to forgive and forget and I don't know how to get there 

I've come to realise that having regular contact with my inlaws is contraindicative to a positive self-image, happiness, esteem, etc.  I really don't want to get into it, but I realised that I have to take charge of it.  Confronting them won't do any good, so I am not going to bother with them.  I don't need them.  I don't need to care what they think or allow them to make me feel like crap about myself.

I've just had a weekend like that, only not involving my in-laws.  Good luck.  

Obviously I'm not ready to forgive and forget and I don't know how to get there 

Sometimes you just can't.

Hugs...I know what it's like.