Did you/your spouse move to Wales from the US for an executive position?

Am I the only one with visions of "The Firm"?  after reading all this? 

I found that I was the one who had to adjust to being an American here.  When I first started working, I thought people would be wondering about me, and I felt like I needed to explain more of why I was here or how I fit in, which felt awkward at times.  After a while I relaxed and realized that if people want to know, they'll ask.  Once I relaxed and got to know people, my Americanism was a non-issue except for during the occasional off-topic coffee-break type discussion.

Thanks for this! My husband has great concerns about how he'll be received, and I think this is helpful advice.

I have been impressed with housing prices in the South Wales area, especially from a rental perspective. Some of the rents for 3 br houses are still less than what I had to pay for an apartment in downtown Chicago, so I think we should be able to find something we are comfortable with and that will actually fit well into our budget.

The mentality of his company here (a sister company) is to keep a very low profile. BMWs and the like send the message that the client is being overcharged for services. He is driving a Chrysler 300 because it is on the company plan, but a lot of the guys had to move to Ford Taurus (or whatever the equivalent is these days). 

And yes, it was starting to sound a bit like "The Firm". Only not in the city. We'll be out in the countryside with the sheep!

I think it all comes down to how we portray ourselves.  If we are kind and confident without being obnoxious know-it-alls, people tend to see us for ourselves.  If someone comes in as brash and bossy, they may be seen more as trying to assert themselves and shoving American culture down their throat.

It comes down to learning to relax and just be yourself.  It does take some adjustment when you are new in a strange country.  Even with the best of preparations, there are funny little cultural adjustments to be made by everyone at first. As you learn the variations and lingo, you relax more and can just be yourself--causing others to take less and less notice of your differences and letting them see you as a colleague.  Does that make sense?

Where in Wales are you coming to, by the way?

Somewhere near Hay-on-Wye. It just depends on how long of a commute hubs wants. Right now, he drives an hour each way, but he travels a lot so he doesn't drive every day.

With the new position, he will have little travel (hurrah!) so we are contemplating staying close-in (a lot of the execs drive 1 to 1-1/2 hrs). He'd love to be close. I grew up in a small town, so I am aware of the issues that arise with living in a small town.

We're still debating which would be easier for me to meet people - in a smaller town/village or in a bigger city (like Brecon).

We're still debating which would be easier for me to meet people - in a smaller town/village or in a bigger city (like Brecon).

I'm no use in the areas to you Cadenza (or someone else) might be more knowledgable for you. 

I'm assuming by your name that you have kids.  Depending on the age of your kids you'll possibly have an easier time meeting other Mums that way.  Villages tend to have baby groups etc where you'll consistently see the same parents (possibly even your neighbours).     I can't personally vouch for meeting other parents in larger cities, but if you do have kid(s) you may want to check out Netmums - most areas have local meetups where you could go along and meet other parents in your area.  This could get you more acquainted with the area and help meet friends, or at least a starting point.   

Another place you might find to meet people is Meetup.com - you could possibly see if other Americans are living near to where you'd be going and eventually meet them in person, or if you have other interests see if there're any groups nearby to find friends.  Facebook's another good place to look for any groups in the area to attend to network.  Just some ideas.

Ooh, that is some beautiful country!  I would love to live out there.  You're right it can be quite isolated, but if you can be happy in that environment, there are some of the most charming villages in that area.  Let yourself get off the beaten path to explore and you'll really enjoy the area.

Brecon is fun too.  I always drive people through the Beacons when they come to visit, and we finish our day with a pot of tea and scones with clotted cream at the tea shop outside of Brecon.  Then we spend an hour or so exploring the Cathedral.  It isn't huge like some cathedrals, but a lot of it survived Cromwell's soldiers raids, so there are some interesting artefacts. Brecon isn't exactly a rip roaring town either, but compared to the tiny villages, there's a lot more.

Good luck with your decisions.  I'm so glad I came to Wales.  I really love it here.  Hopefully you'll have a great experience, and if you are ever in Cardiff and want to chat with an American, give me a ring.

I quit reading about 7 or 8 posts in, so maybe this has already been resolved, but I just had to say this.

Quit judging mommy_grrl and her husbands company. Why are you all acting like status appropriate living is a behavior that is foreign and weird in the western world?

All she is asking is what would be considered appropriate for an executive in Wales to drive, and where would be appropriate to live, without coming off as garish-greedy-overconsumptive Americans by Welsh standards.

For instance in Houston, no one would bat an eyelash if a new exec came in driving say a Mercedes S class, and lived in a nice 4 bedroom or so house maybe with a pool, in some sort of nice gated community or a nice community with a lake.

However if he gets a Maybach and buys a 2 million dollar home people would be like "whoa". And if he drove beater Corolla and lived in a two bedroom apartment with his family in a rough part of town they'd be like "whoa".

All she wants to know is what would be a passing grade in Wales without people thinking they are overdoing or underdoing it.

Sheesh.

i got the impression that what people were getting at in their responses was that they were surprised to hear of such standards in wales...and unsure of how to answer the question, as they aren't used to there being any set standards for where someone should live, etc. the way that there sometimes can be in companies in the US.

and what's wrong with a corolla??

Nothing is wrong with a Corolla, my Mom drives a Corolla. But lets not pretend that if you found out that a VP of a major company drove one, that you wouldn't be surprised. I know I was surprised to find out the IKEA founder still rocked an older Volvo and took public transport.

I got a different impression from the answers, it seemed people wanted to get preachy instead of answering the question. Which is why mommy_grrl had to post again and explain herself further.

I just read through all the answers now and Dennis the Menace is the only one who addressed her question about standards, while also mentioning that such standards may not apply.

Like I said I stopped reading after the first few responses because it seemed no one was answering her question, and since if I do come across the pond I will be coming into a management (not exec though) position I was hoping to see more insightful answers like DtM's.

chadwyckp, it could be because most of us don't have a clue about being an exec and probably wouldn't even know if or what they actually tell you in the high up land of people who make more in a month than most of us make in year... 

It probably seems judgmental- but a lot of people are very proud of their personal right to choose what they drive and where they live and what they feed their kids and why they like xxx town over yyy town.  Its more about being able to have a personal preference and not be told, this is the way it is...
It's one thing on company time to have to present yourself one way, its another thing to have it interfere with your personal time.  At least the boss of IKEA has a choice!

However, I suppose, sometimes though you have to put up with things for the sake of putting up with things if its a job you love

Hi ChadwyckP,

Cheers for the feedback for my post!

I must say, reading the other responses I didn't at all have it come across anyone was judgemental or preachy as such. To some, the thought this kind of thing can and does occur is new and different to them based on their experiences. Like Lilybelle has said, maybe they're responding to the best of thier abilities and knowledge. Also, they might be finding my response as a load of bo\\ocks !

I think I also read in another post here, this site and it's members see it more of a community rather than 'just' a resource - I can understand that as I've been along to some of the UKY meetups !

As your coming over and working in a management position, I'd daresay it won't be long before you see elements of what I posted too - there again, if the company is forward thinking in its top level management and they've taken care not to be as 'brash' as over the last few years many other top level directors have, it may be a longer while before you see them.

That said, if you have any questions - or indeed if Mommygrrl does - drop me a PM if yer wish!

Cheers! DtM! West London & Slough UK!

phatbeetle, I totally get where you're coming from. But if someone from say New York asked me how people in a certain socioeconomic strata in Houston lived or typically lives, I should be able to give them that answer, whether I have ever experienced said lifestyle or not. So I figured the folks of UKY could do the same.

It's not a big deal, I just had a reaction and ran with it, maybe I shouldn't have had that Red Bull at lunch lol.

DtM, no problem man, your posts in particular have been very helpful as I run through threads trying to find answers, always very detailed. Once my move becomes more clear I may indeed be shooting you an PM or two.

No one had judged anyone.  We have all merely expressed an opinion that most in the UK, including (perhaps especially) in Wales, and especially in this current climate, don't give a toss about status symbols. 

I am not sure what 'status appropriate living' means.  Most in the UK have 'income allowable living' which is quite different! 


Vicky

I think I get your meaning Vic. I like that "income allowable living" statement.
I'm always amaised when I see people in the UK with ordinary jobs and to see they can afford to live in a house and are generally allowed a middle class life style.
It seems in the US people with ordinary jobs have to live in apartments and have a "relatively" lower standard of living than the rest of the people. I don't think I'm explaining the situation very well.
Let me try again.
I think the middle class live fairly well in the UK and the vast majority of the population are middle class, economically speaking. Whereas in the US there is so much difference between people within the middle class group. A lot of people make $8 an hour and they are fortunate to have a job then there are those who make $12 an hour who have a hard time paying their bills. If you make $40K a year you have a fighting chance at making it.
Obviously this is different in some parts of the country.
I was reading something about police officers on Long Island who are able to afford to drive around in new Mercedes Benz SUV's, as an example. So lets rule out that area.

I think you have it slightly wrong, Jim.  Perhaps people who were middle class in the '80's and were sensible live in this kind of lifestyle, but many don't.  Those who are now reaching 30 and are middle class are finding they can't get on the mortgage ladder or will certainly end up in lots of debt.

Most people are struggling one way or another.

Vicky