The Hardest Aspects of Moving

One of the hardest parts of moving was just packing and getting rid of my stuff. Just deciding which items to bring and which to leave behind, giving things away (loads and loads of photographs I had taken over the years at Uni, photo supplies, etc. that were just too much trouble to bring, books, cds, dvds, all sorts of stuff!), and then trying to figure out what I might miss when I got here so I could bring it with me. Overall, I brought a nice, scaled-down little collection of sentimental and practical stuff, though in hindsight, I wished I had brought less of the food stuff I brought (pretty unneccessary, as I have adjusted to the food just fine) and brought more of my favorite books and other things. Just weighing and re-weighing all the suitcases, carrying my iMac in an iLugger bag and my giant digital camera bag through security and on the planes was a nightmare, my shoulders hurt for days! Thankfully, a bellhop at one of the airport hotels saw me struggling with those things, plus three giant suitcases and he piled all my crap on his trolley so I could get to the bag check. The attendants on my BA flight were more than helpful, they even stored my Mac in their cargo hold so I wouldn't have to put it in the overhead bin. Before the move, it was yard sales, giving away a lot of things I had collected for years, and leaving my car (oh the freedom of it!) behind with my family, who recently sold it.  :\\\'(

Emotionally, just sorting through all of my stuff and throwing so much away and giving old things away felt a bit sad for me, but it was very cathartic - once it was done, I felt so much better knowing it was all taken care of, and it helped me say goodbye to my old life. Also, the two bon voyage parties I had - one with friends and one with family, were very emotionally difficult. I was so excited to leave, but seeing everyone cry really made me feel guilty about leaving in some ways, and yet it made me feel as though I really couldn't wait to get on the plane and just put the sad goodbyes behind me. 

I have lost a lot of friends already since I moved, but I expected that. There were only 2 or 3 old, close friends I thought I would keep in touch with, and so far that has been true. I get fewer emails and messages from people "back home." I feel ok with that, most of the time, as I was ready to move on. I get many more messages and emails from people on this forum than from my family and friends in the states! 

The hardest feelings to weed through were the ones of insecurity - what if I didn't like living here? what if I didn't make any friends? what if I couldn't find a job? and all of those questions, along with knowing that I would have to learn to drive again and figure out where things are, and sometimes, I still feel clueless. I spent nearly 10 minutes trying to figure out how the flush the toilet in a public loo a few weeks ago! (it was a pull cord that was nearly out of my reach, but it took me ages just to figure out what was going on.  ) It's the little things that threw me off at first, the way that things were familiar, but different at the same time. You can buy Dr Pepper here in UK, but it tastes nothing like what you would get in the US. They use two-ring binders in my office instead of three-ring binders. The hole punch was strange to me at first. Just dumb little things that I had to ask questions about (terminology, etc.) Fortunately my colleagues didn't seem to mind me asking rather silly questions because they knew I had just moved over a few weeks before.

I still don't always understand people here. When they are shouting to each other across the street, I can't even be nosy and figure out what's going on sometimes. I feel like I am lost in my own little world at times. I don't even know when people are speaking to me because they speak so fast to each other and it takes so much effort to follow along that I drift away and think about something else, and so when they do decide to include me in the conversation, I don't even know they are speaking to me! To be fair, that's just Geordies and Northumbrians for you.  Even southern UK residents who come around here have trouble following along.

But all of that aside, I love it here and I am glad I came. Most of all, because there is no one in the world I could've missed as much as I missed my DH when we were apart. 

My move has been long and drawn out. In fact, I am not done moving yet. My wife and I were living apart in a long distance relationship when we decided to move to the UK. I then moved down to her place and we lived together for 3 months. The middle month was spent in the UK on holiday. I never really got settled at her place. Now I have been here for 2 months and I am starting to feel settled. Unfortunately, all of my stuff is still in storage in the States and with my wife. My wife will not get over here for 2 more months and our stuff probably 2 months after that.

Having the time has been really nice. Not having everything done has been a real pain. The first issue was not having my diploma readily available (HR is still waiting for a copy). Most recently it was the realization that I have no idea where any of my tax forms are or any payments I have made. Next week I am sure it will be something else.   

One of the hardest parts of moving was just packing and getting rid of my stuff. Just deciding which items to bring and which to leave behind, giving things away (loads and loads of photographs I had taken over the years at Uni, photo supplies, etc. that were just too much trouble to bring, books, cds, dvds, all sorts of stuff!), and then trying to figure out what I might miss when I got here so I could bring it with me. Overall, I brought a nice, scaled-down little collection of sentimental and practical stuff, though in hindsight, I wished I had brought less of the food stuff I brought (pretty unneccessary, as I have adjusted to the food just fine) and brought more of my favorite books and other things. Just weighing and re-weighing all the suitcases, carrying my iMac in an iLugger bag and my giant digital camera bag through security and on the planes was a nightmare, my shoulders hurt for days! Thankfully, a bellhop at one of the airport hotels saw me struggling with those things, plus three giant suitcases and he piled all my crap on his trolley so I could get to the bag check. The attendants on my BA flight were more than helpful, they even stored my Mac in their cargo hold so I wouldn't have to put it in the overhead bin. Before the move, it was yard sales, giving away a lot of things I had collected for years, and leaving my car (oh the freedom of it!) behind with my family, who recently sold it.  :\\\'(

Emotionally, just sorting through all of my stuff and throwing so much away and giving old things away felt a bit sad for me, but it was very cathartic - once it was done, I felt so much better knowing it was all taken care of, and it helped me say goodbye to my old life. Also, the two bon voyage parties I had - one with friends and one with family, were very emotionally difficult. I was so excited to leave, but seeing everyone cry really made me feel guilty about leaving in some ways, and yet it made me feel as though I really couldn't wait to get on the plane and just put the sad goodbyes behind me. 

I have lost a lot of friends already since I moved, but I expected that. There were only 2 or 3 old, close friends I thought I would keep in touch with, and so far that has been true. I get fewer emails and messages from people "back home." I feel ok with that, most of the time, as I was ready to move on. I get many more messages and emails from people on this forum than from my family and friends in the states! 

The hardest feelings to weed through were the ones of insecurity - what if I didn't like living here? what if I didn't make any friends? what if I couldn't find a job? and all of those questions, along with knowing that I would have to learn to drive again and figure out where things are, and sometimes, I still feel clueless. I spent nearly 10 minutes trying to figure out how the flush the toilet in a public loo a few weeks ago! (it was a pull cord that was nearly out of my reach, but it took me ages just to figure out what was going on.  ) It's the little things that threw me off at first, the way that things were familiar, but different at the same time. You can buy Dr Pepper here in UK, but it tastes nothing like what you would get in the US. They use two-ring binders in my office instead of three-ring binders. The hole punch was strange to me at first. Just dumb little things that I had to ask questions about (terminology, etc.) Fortunately my colleagues didn't seem to mind me asking rather silly questions because they knew I had just moved over a few weeks before.

I still don't always understand people here. When they are shouting to each other across the street, I can't even be nosy and figure out what's going on sometimes. I feel like I am lost in my own little world at times. I don't even know when people are speaking to me because they speak so fast to each other and it takes so much effort to follow along that I drift away and think about something else, and so when they do decide to include me in the conversation, I don't even know they are speaking to me! To be fair, that's just Geordies and Northumbrians for you.  Even southern UK residents who come around here have trouble following along.

But all of that aside, I love it here and I am glad I came. Most of all, because there is no one in the world I could've missed as much as I missed my DH when we were apart. 

Great post, Jewlz.  So much of it sounds familiar of my own situation.  I still haven't gotten to the point where I'm so OK with old friends no longer keeping in touch with me, though.

I've had a few frustrating experiences lately in relation to the way people want to make a big deal about the fact that I'm an American and therefore am supposed to be so very different.

Today, the conversation turned to whatshername - the female novelist who wrote Pride and Prejudice etc.  I had nothing to add to the converstion because those types of books never appealed to me - but people assume that I don't know because it's not American literature.  And they they got incredulous when I said I know plenty of Americans who love whatshername, but it's not my cup of tea - like I'm uncultured because I don't "get it". 

I'm tired of people assuming I'm stupid because I get things wrong or confused sometimes, or when there is something I don't know in the massive learning curve I'm undertaking - or make a big frickin deal about the way I pronounce my words.

Mostly, people are very kind and the transition has been fairly smooth for me - there are just sometimes when I get weary of the prejudiced assumptions and drama for the sake of being dramatic. 

I know it's not all Brits - it's individuals - and it's just part of the immigrant experience, but it gets OLD and BORING 

the female novelist who wrote Pride and Prejudice etc.

Well, nobody would dare to call me "uncultured" and I find Jane Austen a big bore. Charlotte  Brontë thought so too, and so did Joseph Conrad.

they got incredulous when I said I know plenty of Americans who love whatshername

I once heard a radio programme about JASNA - the Jane Austen Society Of North America, some of whose members never read any other author. The interviewer asked one lady (they are mostly ladies) what she did when she got to the end of "Jane's" final work, and she replied, "Why, I just start again at the beginning!".

Ms Austen's work does tend to inspire a certain type of fanaticism; there are people in all countries that are sometimes called "Janeites" by those who are don't share the obsession.

I'm tired of people assuming I'm stupid because I get things wrong or confused sometimes, or when there is something I don't know in the massive learning curve I'm undertaking - or make a big frickin deal about the way I pronounce my words.

I expect they're just jealous because you are attractive and friendly and nice and they are not.

I know it's not all Brits - it's individuals - and it's just part of the immigrant experience, but it gets OLD and BORING 

I often think it would do everyone's soul good to be an immigrant for a while. It's humbling to discover that so many of the things you think are perfectly fecking obvious don't work outside the familiar places.

Dangit, Hollyberry, I just tried (and failed) to find the most hilarious, stunningly rude review of Austen's oeuvre. I read it this Fall, I think. I can't remember where. The writer said something like...all Austen's novels are about discovering how much territory you can stretch a vagina across. I kind of like Austen, but that is so true. 

I often think it would do everyone's soul good to be an immigrant for a while. It's humbling to discover that so many of the things you think are perfectly fecking obvious don't work outside the familiar places.

Amen.

Dangit, Hollyberry, I just tried (and failed) to find the most hilarious, stunningly rude review of Austen's oeuvre. I read it this Fall, I think. I can't remember where. The writer said something like...all Austen's novels are about discovering how much territory you can stretch a vagina across. I kind of like Austen, but that is so true. 

Mark Twain produced some zingers on the subject.  Here are a few :

Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

I haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

*In the interest of full disclosure, I do enjoy Jane Austen, certainly more than I do Mark Twain's prose (love his non-fiction), but I still find this funny. 

I'm not a Jane-ite, but I read Pride and Prejudice more than once and found it very entertaining.  I love all of the film and BBC versions of Jane Austen's works as well.

Thanks for the funny folks.     I needed it.

I just thought of a new hardest thing for me. Everything closing so damn early and people (like electricians and construction people) expecting me to have a wife at home who just sits around all day waiting for them to show up.

I just thought of a new hardest thing for me. Everything closing so damn early and people (like electricians and construction people) expecting me to have a wife at home who just sits around all day waiting for them to show up.

Waiting 3 - 4 months for a bit of furniture to be delivered, which we had to put together ourselves anyway, was more than annoying for me. But, I have accepted the way that things are less convenient here in some ways, and I have traded those conveniences for living in a small village by the sea, which I absolutely love. So be it! But yeah, it would be nice for some things to happen when you want them to happen, rather than having to wait around.

My coworker just took the mick because I had to ask if "authorized" is spelled with an S or a Z here in UK. I won a state spelling bee in grade school! Doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment if I have to swap a Z for an S, or slip in a silent "U" where needed.  I just said this to my coworker and he asked if the letter U fell off the ship when the settlers came across.   

I just thought of two very petty things that used to irritate me:
1. The weight system -- not metric but the old stones/pounds.  Whereas in the US, you might think: "OMG, I'm 10 pounds overweight!", in the UK you would say "I have to lose half a stone!"  This makes for a different mindset.
2. Dressing tables in front bedroom windows.  You would walk down a street of semis and every dang one would have their dressing tables plonked right in the window blocking all the light.  What the heck do you use a dressing table for anyway?  And there would be a hanging light fixture right over it as well, usually with a frilly lampshade.  Why does the room's main light source have to be in the window?