Can you love someone you havn't met?

I think it's possible to meet someone online and genuinely find a connection that grows stronger and stronger if it's right. I think you can know someone without meeting them, if you're perceptive enough, and given enough time to build a connection to someone, I think it's possible to fall in love with that person, even if you havn't met them face to face yet.

What do you think about that?

I agree that you can fall in love with someone you haven't met in person. I also feel there are many different levels of love though and that meeting them in person brings it to a different.....or undoes some of that feeling.

Good points.

*puts on thinking cap*

I think you can fall in love with someone you haven't met, definitely. The internet poses a unique opportunity for us nowadays, because connections can be made that weren't even really conceived of 20 years ago, and finding love online is definitely more acceptable today than it used to be. I remember when I was younger, things were relegated to just chat rooms and such, and a lot of people just saw it as something sexual, but with the advent of all these dating sites, and things like myspace and facebook, it's not as 'ewww' as it might have been before.

I knew I was in love with Steve before I met him that first time; I think I was just unsure of if it would last beyond that initial meeting. You can be in love without having met someone face to face I think, but the true test is whether or not it continues on once you've met the person, and seen them for all their quirks and annoyances and such. I know Steve was nervous to see how we'd turn out at the first meeting, but I think he was in love with me back then--I don't think he would of spent thousands of dollars and flown thousands of miles just on a whim, or just out of lust That's just the type of guy he is, I suppose.

So yeah, I think it's definitely possible to fall in love on the internet--the question is whether it can sustain itself; sometimes people aren't completely honest, or you can't get the full picture as much as you would if you knew them in person. But that's what those visits are for--you realize how that person is when they're not behind a computer screen, and it gives you time to really consider things. And I think one advantage of our LDRs on here is you have to be *really* sure you love the person before you make the immigration leap; once you've been through the visa process, and years being apart, leaving the toilet seat up doesn't seem such a big deal

Lol well the toilet seat thing isn't an issue for me at all. I don't have any problem with leaving it down.

See in my house, the bathroom is so small that the toilet is crunched against the wall so far that the seat actually won't stay up, so I've gotten used to it being down all the time and my aim is very good. 

But I also think you can love someone before meeting them, especially if you've seen pictures and have talked on the phone, I think you can know who a person is.

oops double post.

Lol well the toilet seat thing isn't an issue for me at all. I don't have any problem with leaving it down.

See in my house, the bathroom is so small that the toilet is crunched against the wall so far that the seat actually won't stay up, so I've gotten used to it being down all the time and my aim is very good. 

But I also think you can love someone before meeting them, especially if you've seen pictures and have talked on the phone, I think you can know who a person is.

Hehe, yeah, Steve's pretty good about the toilet seat It seems sometimes if you've been able to be through all the loneliness and tears and drama of a LDR, mundane things don't always weigh as heavily as they could otherwise be (in most cases anyway, I'm sure there are exceptions).

I think a lot of the technology of the internet makes it way more possible to get to know a person better than before; we use mics and webcams on our end, so we can sit and chat for a few hours *almost* as if we were face to face. It's a huge difference once you've met the person, and it'll never be the same as being right there with them, but it sure beats a kick in the ars*. I don't know how I'd handle all this if I didn't have the internet

It can be a double edged sword kinda--some people will hide who they really are, because it can be incredibly easy to do on the internet. They'll make themselves out to be completely different people than they really are, and that's when the relationships fall apart once the parties have met, and you realize the person really isn't who they said they are.

And on the other hand, people can sometimes be more like themselves on the internet; they may be less shy than they are in other social situations, and might be more truthful and forthcoming about themselves without those anxieties getting in the way. I know I'm way more shy face to face, because I sometimes have bouts of extremely low self esteem, but online I'm a bit more willing to put myself out there

I definitely believe you can fall in love before meeting in person. I loved Adrian before we met in London, definitely. We spoke for hours and hours on webcam every day, plus wrote long letters, and in fact, it was really sweet to get to know him so well before we were able to be physical with each other at all. Most relationships with people I met in person progressed faster physically, and then once I really got to know them, I didn't have the feelings I thought I had. Sex can really confuse you into thinking it's love when it isn't. Getting to know someone so well without that opportunity makes it even more exciting when it does get to finally happen! Of course, I was terrified that I would kiss him and it wouldn't feel right (especially after all of that build up), but it was even better than I ever thought it would be. Plus he was already my best friend by the time we met, he knew every single thing about me, good and bad, and was always there for me, even if it was on the other end of a computer.
There were aspects to our relationship that felt like old-world romance, like in the films where people would write to each other for a long period of time before even holding hands, and they would fall in love with each other's words rather than their body. And he would send me flowers and cards and write beautiful long emails. It was so much more romantic meeting someone online than I ever thought it would be. In fact, sad but true, I thought it was sort of lame to meet people online before I met him and he proved me so wrong! (I don't know why I ever thought that way, it just seemed nerdy to me, I guess, and looking back now, I'm still surprised how things turned out.)
The first night we spent together in London was supposed to be this great romantic event we had planned out for months, but it wasn't really like we expected. I had serious jetlag, we got wasted at the pub, and I thought I left my handbag there with all my money and passport and everything inside!    I was crying my head off all night long feeling like the biggest idiot, and he just listened and held me and said he would take out the money for the rest of my holiday (he was only there for 2 days, while I was staying for a week) and he was so supportive and sweet. It was fantastic the next day when we realized my bag was actually stuck under my friend's suitcase, lol, but just knowing how much he cared, and how sweet he truly was made me love him more than life itself. I knew I could always count on him. And even though our first night was sort of "ruined," I'm glad it happened that way, rather than having the romantic night we had planned for, because that was real, and seeing that side of him really touched me in a different way.
So, yeah, I think you can really love someone before you meet them in person. Everyone told me to be careful and not be a dreamer, etc., etc., but look what happened! My fairy tale came true! I'm glad I didn't listen to them! 

I definitely believe you can fall in love before meeting in person. I loved Adrian before we met in London, definitely. We spoke for hours and hours on webcam every day, plus wrote long letters, and in fact, it was really sweet to get to know him so well before we were able to be physical with each other at all. Most relationships with people I met in person progressed faster physically, and then once I really got to know them, I didn't have the feelings I thought I had. Sex can really confuse you into thinking it's love when it isn't. Getting to know someone so well without that opportunity makes it even more exciting when it does get to finally happen! Of course, I was terrified that I would kiss him and it wouldn't feel right (especially after all of that build up), but it was even better than I ever thought it would be. Plus he was already my best friend by the time we met, he knew every single thing about me, good and bad, and was always there for me, even if it was on the other end of a computer.
There were aspects to our relationship that felt like old-world romance, like in the films where people would write to each other for a long period of time before even holding hands, and they would fall in love with each other's words rather than their body. And he would send me flowers and cards and write beautiful long emails. It was so much more romantic meeting someone online than I ever thought it would be. In fact, sad but true, I thought it was sort of lame to meet people online before I met him and he proved me so wrong! (I don't know why I ever thought that way, it just seemed nerdy to me, I guess, and looking back now, I'm still surprised how things turned out.)
The first night we spent together in London was supposed to be this great romantic event we had planned out for months, but it wasn't really like we expected. I had serious jetlag, we got wasted at the pub, and I thought I left my handbag there with all my money and passport and everything inside!    I was crying my head off all night long feeling like the biggest idiot, and he just listened and held me and said he would take out the money for the rest of my holiday (he was only there for 2 days, while I was staying for a week) and he was so supportive and sweet. It was fantastic the next day when we realized my bag was actually stuck under my friend's suitcase, lol, but just knowing how much he cared, and how sweet he truly was made me love him more than life itself. I knew I could always count on him. And even though our first night was sort of "ruined," I'm glad it happened that way, rather than having the romantic night we had planned for, because that was real, and seeing that side of him really touched me in a different way.
So, yeah, I think you can really love someone before you meet them in person. Everyone told me to be careful and not be a dreamer, etc., etc., but look what happened! My fairy tale came true! I'm glad I didn't listen to them! 

I love your post! I want to take it and put it in the face of all the people telling me otherwise! You make very good points about actually getting to know a person better this way than the other way around. I think I like this way better honestly.

I love your post! I want to take it and put it in the face of all the people telling me otherwise! You make very good points about actually getting to know a person better this way than the other way around. I think I like this way better honestly.

Thanks! Yeah, forget the naysayers. People might say all sorts of things about it. My friends thought I was dumb for staying in on a Friday night so I could spend time with him on the webcam, but I didn't care! Everyone was shocked on our wedding day, and the realization that I was actually moving hit them like a ton of bricks. It doesn't matter what other people say. It would've been easy to agree that he was too far away, it would never work, or whatever else and just go out with my friends and try to forget him, but I preferred to be a dreamer and held onto the hope that romance really did exist. It was a bit hard sometimes, waiting for that year, and only seeing each other for a week at a time, a few months apart every time, but it was definitely worth it. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. 

I've done a lot of internet dating over the years. I gradually came to the conclusion that I had to meet the person as soon as possible and not just continue with the online relationship. Of course, I realize this is difficult in an international relationship. But, this is because we would have great chemistry online and on the phone, but then I'd meet them in person and we wouldn't click. Sometimes the person even repulsed me even though our conversations were great. My husband and I met online. We chatted for about a month and that was long enough for me. I knew that I liked him and was interested in learning more, but there's no way that I was going to determine if I loved him without meeting him in person first. I don't throw the word 'love' around too loosely. All was well and it was a happy ending, but there were lots of other guys who were rejects. Personally, I think you should try not to create the fairy tale in your head before you go. The fairy tale will unfold if that's what's meant to be! 

I think it's possible, but I personally wouldn't allow myself to get too invested in a relationship without meeting in person.  I met my husband in person 4 months after meeting him online and 6 weeks after realising we had feelings for each other and I'm glad it worked out that way.  I would have been much more anxious had we needed to wait months and months before that first meeting.

I think you can be in love with the idea of being in love with that person, which kind of turns into an obsession (which imo can be also confused with being in love) and I think it would also depend on your personality type, but PERSONALLY I don't think one can fall in love with another person before meeting them. And I think its a dangerous thing to do emotionally. But again, this is how I feel, not necessarily how anyone else feels.

I think it's possible, but I personally wouldn't allow myself to get too invested in a relationship without meeting in person.  I met my husband in person 4 months after meeting him online and 6 weeks after realising we had feelings for each other and I'm glad it worked out that way.  I would have been much more anxious had we needed to wait months and months before that first meeting.

I agree. Not that it doesn't happen in real life, but I think the temptation to project qualities onto someone is just much higher online.

It doesn't mean you can't get to know and fall in love with someone online. Although I was pretty sure I was in love with my now-husband before we ever met, I was still pretty anxious that it just wasn't gonna take when we were face-to-face for the first time.

I think it's more than possible....BUT, you have to be careful that the other person is the same online and offline.  So many people hide themselves behind alter egos online and if you fall in love with someone like that, you wind up in for a BIG surprise when you meet!  
And even if you think you've fallen in love with someone, they might not be on the same page and might not admit their feelings until after they meet you.  

I've done a lot of meeting people online.  To be quite honest, I think nearly all my past boyfriends have all been people I met online or were friends with online first.  I don't think this is a bad thing, but I also was extremely careful when I met people.

Tim and I are sort of the oddball in terms of internet relationships -  we DID meet online in 2004, but then met in person at a convention in Seattle in 2005 and we spent three years online talking just as friends, building our relationship, spending hours on Skype sharing our interests, and sending packages back and forth.  While I fell in love with Tim gradually over six months before we started dating (and then waited 2 to tell him!), Tim didn't tell me he was in love with me until November (my visit had started in October) because he needed to spend time with me as his love interest in order to realize he was in love.  

I guess what I'm saying is online love CAN happen, but you also might need to be patient and wait for it!