Positive Aspects of an LDR

Dream on, hon.  Never is a long time.  I've only been here for four months, and already I'm forgetting how miserable I was when we were apart.  We're a bit different from many of the people here in that we met in person and were together for a year, six months of which we lived together, before we had to start our LDR.  Now that we're together again, we've settled back into the way we were before.  We used to sit around, each at his or her own computer, and only talk when we had something to say.  That was what I missed most when we were apart, just sitting around together like that.  Now we sit around together and I nag at him about getting up and doing something    I love being comfortable enough to nag, though, honestly, instead of feeling like our time together is too precious to waste with anything unpleasant.  Nagging makes me happy     

Hey we still both nag and have our moments but that doesn't mean you take your SO for granted. I've been though enough to know that once I have something good, I never take it for granted. Be it DF or a roof over my head.

Hey we still both nag and have our moments but that doesn't mean you take your SO for granted. I've been though enough to know that once I have something good, I never take it for granted. Be it DF or a roof over my head.

I'm not sure I mean taking the SO for granted, exactly. Who knows, 24/7/365 I'd find that level of physical contact suffocating, but on his visits we were always trying to be touching in some way. Heck, I think we even turned over in bed in unison: I'd move, and without even waking up, he'd move too to cuddle me.

Maybe I did get a little complacent though, because there just isn't this urge to squeeze tons of togetherness out of every moment, now that he's across the hall rather then across the ocean.

2 words....Reunion Sex.
Nothing like it....

I loved my LDR, I got to be a free girly in NYC for a few months, then I got to go spend a few months being a domestic goddess. I had the best of everything, great friends, amazing boy friend.

To be honest, being in an LDR is much more fun than being married with kids!!!
I would enjoy it while it lasts, once paying the mortgage is your priority, well, its mundane isn't it. Not saying being married with kids isn't amazing and wonderful, but I would give my right arm to do my LDR days. FUN FUN FUN!!!

2. I don't have to shave my legs every day, or even weekly.

Lol, I don't bother when he's around anyway. He just doesn't care.

I'm not sure I mean taking the SO for granted, exactly. Who knows, 24/7/365 I'd find that level of physical contact suffocating, but on his visits we were always trying to be touching in some way. Heck, I think we even turned over in bed in unison: I'd move, and without even waking up, he'd move too to cuddle me.

Maybe I did get a little complacent though, because there just isn't this urge to squeeze tons of togetherness out of every moment, now that he's across the hall rather then across the ocean.

All together I have spent somewhere between 1 1/2 - 2 years just living with Vincent, over the course of our LDR. I find that when we've been together for a longer stretch of time, we don't have to try to "make the most" of our time together... We can simultaneously play different video games for hours. We can sleep without being snuggled together all night. (Let's face it, it's not always THAT comfortable, and it can get kinda warm.) But we still do appreciate our time together. And don't take for granted how wonderful it is that we can just get on with our normal activities without the constant ache of missing each other. I like the mundane. Mundane = lack of depression.

Currently, we are in different countries. I cannot stress enough that LDRs are awfully depressing. I don't really like to romanticize the situation. That's why we're trying to do away with the distance once and for all...

2 words....Reunion Sex.
Nothing like it....

I loved my LDR, I got to be a free girly in NYC for a few months, then I got to go spend a few months being a domestic goddess. I had the best of everything, great friends, amazing boy friend.

To be honest, being in an LDR is much more fun than being married with kids!!!
I would enjoy it while it lasts, once paying the mortgage is your priority, well, its mundane isn't it. Not saying being married with kids isn't amazing and wonderful, but I would give my right arm to do my LDR days. FUN FUN FUN!!!

Okay, reunion sex is DEFINITELY a bonus... but I think an LDR is anything but "FUN FUN FUN!!!" Maybe in retrospect you tend to block out all the sadness it entails... I know that going out with my husband is WAY more fun than going out with my friends. As much as I love them, Hubby>Friends. I miss him more than I could ever articulate.

And don't take for granted how wonderful it is that we can just get on with our normal activities without the constant ache of missing each other.

That's pretty much how I feel. I don't try to paw at him all the time, but I certainly appreciate not missing him all the time.

But it doesn't mean I don't occasionally miss that level of physical closeness.

That's pretty much how I feel. I don't try to paw at him all the time, but I certainly appreciate not missing him all the time.

But it doesn't mean I don't occasionally miss that level of physical closeness.

See, we still cuddle A LOT when we are together. If we are watching tv, we are constantly touching.... My favorite is laying on his chest while we watch tv in bed. Ah! Best feeling. Or when we just lay in bed at night, reading, next to each other...

When I did my student teaching there, I was tired ALLLL the time, so every night, he would be reading or watching something, and I'd just give up and lay on him, and pass out. It is the most comforting, lovely feeling ever...

In conclusion (lol) I think the most positive aspect of an LDR is when you are not apart...

2 words....Reunion Sex.
Nothing like it....

I loved my LDR, I got to be a free girly in NYC for a few months, then I got to go spend a few months being a domestic goddess. I had the best of everything, great friends, amazing boy friend.

To be honest, being in an LDR is much more fun than being married with kids!!!
I would enjoy it while it lasts, once paying the mortgage is your priority, well, its mundane isn't it. Not saying being married with kids isn't amazing and wonderful, but I would give my right arm to do my LDR days. FUN FUN FUN!!!

Hehe, Steve gets antsy right before his visits because he knows reunion sex is somewhere in the near future But it is nice, even though it sucks to try and cram a whole bunch of sex into 2 weeks or so, then going without it for 6 months.

I'll be on top of the moon once this LDR is over, I want more than what I have now. The past couple years I've been a little more flexible, but now that I know where I want to go, I'm stuck here until I get to the UK. I don't really like being away from Steve, it makes my own depression ten times worse; I'm not really free here at home as much as in the UK, so maybe that's why I'm eager to get over there

I liked the feeling when I was visiting Steve that I didn't have to be up his ars* all the time on the computer; if he wanted to be on the computer that was fine, I was sitting a few feet away from him watching telly or reading, and both of us could just turn to the other to say something. And we only really cuddle in the morning, since he likes to lay on his stomach and I lay on my right side, so that doesn't work well--but it's not necessary for us to cuddle anyway. Just being together is fine

I loved the exciting international romance part of my LDR (it was only one year) & also when we got together, we made a point to travel cool places, see & do exciting things: swim with the manatees, going to the beach, traveling all around England, a week away in the mountains, & he swept me off to Amsterdam for New Year's - stuff like that.  So there was a bit of a come-down period once I was over here for good & that aspect was over.  Still I'm much happier & settled in my life now - in a good way.  The flip side of the 'exciting international romance' was the uncertainty and the long separations - glad it's over.

I loved the exciting international romance part of my LDR (it was only one year) & also when we got together, we made a point to travel cool places, see & do exciting things: swim with the manatees, going to the beach, traveling all around England, a week away in the mountains, & he swept me off to Amsterdam for New Year's - stuff like that.  So there was a bit of a come-down period once I was over here for good & that aspect was over.  Still I'm much happier & settled in my life now - in a good way.  The flip side of the 'exciting international romance' was the uncertainty and the long separations - glad it's over.

Yeah We've known each other for over 9 years, been together 6 1/2, and the whole time it has been an LDR. Ours isn't quite so exciting! Our time together is... just living together! So I can't wait until it's like that ALL the time!

We still go on vacations together (not as exciting as yours seem) but we can do that once we're together too. I don't find the LDR exciting as other people seem to though... I wish I did!

Thanks for this thread. I miss Tim like crazy, and want nothing else than to be able to pack up and just be there. 

But you're right, there are some...I don't want to call them positive aspects, but definitely things that are unique to LDRs, like the TONS of travel and frequent flier miles, and experiencing another culture. 

So, I've been a bit mopey today- but I found a sorta helpful website through stumble and I thought I'd share.

http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingstodo6.html

Also, I generally try and stay up late when I can to talk to my bf on skype and tonight he said the loveliest thing to me- "I don't want to say goodbye because you look so pretty." 
Well worth missing sleep.