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Topic: Is your life how you thought it would be?  (Read 7060 times)

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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2009, 12:25:22 PM »
Yes and no. 

I always wanted to have children of my own.  I have 2.
I wanted to be a SAHM.  I was.
I wanted to be married.  I am.
I wanted to travel.  I did.
I wanted to live overseas.  I am. 

I didn't expect I'd be moving all over the world with two kids in tow and I wanted to be settled by the time they were 10.  We're kind of settled but not in the way I imagined - certainly not the quiet growing up in a nice neighbourhood in Canada that I wanted for them.   We have had to redefine settled and actually, it may look different but it's still settled, with the benefit of International Experience, I guess.

Beyond that, I couldn't really ever picture how I wanted my life so everything I have now, is a wonderful bonus.



 
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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2009, 12:36:57 PM »
Getting married next year, who knows what the future brings. 

WOT!?!?!
Looks like i missed something while i was on holiday!!!


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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2009, 01:09:12 PM »
WOT!?!?!
Looks like i missed something while i was on holiday!!!

Hehhe, check out my post in the hitching post  ;)
I've never gotten food on my underpants!
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You're stuck with me!


Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2009, 01:12:45 PM »
Hehhe, check out my post in the hitching post  ;)

that's one of my blocked threads.. i'll have to and unblock!  :)


Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2009, 01:20:13 PM »
NO.

It's like nothing I ever envisioned, and I've always had an active imagination.

Like others here, though, I never was a planner.


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    • Phineas Gage
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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2009, 01:42:21 PM »
I am 26 years old and I feel like YES, my life is everything I thought it would be. I set short term and long term goals for myself that I work ridiculously hard at to accomplish. It was an unspoken thing that I go to college and get my degree [everyone in my family is a college graduate]. I knew I had to have the highest degree possible, so I went ahead and got my Masters and will one day obtain my PhD.

I also knew that I didn't just want to travel, I wanted to live in another country. I began applying for the Peace Corps and seflishly wanted to be stationed in Dominican Republic [my home country] but because I have family there they would not place me there. So, I nixed that idea and began looking into Europe. I set this goal for myself in 05, and 4 years later I'm finally accomplishing it.

The only goals I set for myself for my 20-29 year age bracket was to get my Masters [done] and move to another country [semi-done]. Now, I have to start thinking about goals for my 30-39 age bracket. I feel like I'm supposed to start a family but I'm still a bit scared about that. I absolutely cherish my freedom. Maybe a goal would be to have a fabulous DH find me [I'm straying away from ME having to find HIM].

But in a nutshell, yes, my life is how I thought it would be.  ;D
Elena


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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2009, 02:38:51 PM »
I never had plans. Or, if I did, they changed every week. I prefer the adventure of not knowing what tomorrow holds.

No plans...changing every week?  Not knowing what tomorrow holds?  How 'bout that '55 days until' ticker in your signature?  ??? ;) :-*

I never in a million years thought I'd be living in England - the idea never even occurred to me, ever, until I got to know DH.  When I was a teenager and on into early university, I was going to be a journalist - but got turned off on that really quick.  So I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I was never really a planner either - just went the way the wind blew.  But I did envision what I view as simple things like being married, being a homeowner, etc.

The main thing with me is I never expected to be this amazingly happy - cos my life had sort of taken on a pattern of total suck from ages 9-38...so this crazy (and welcome) turnaround really took me by surprise!  :)
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2009, 02:59:57 PM »
No plans...changing every week?  Not knowing what tomorrow holds?  How 'bout that '55 days until' ticker in your signature?  ??? ;) :-*

Well there is that.  ;)

But I honestly never really thought much about whether or not I'd get married. I'd have been happy either way.

What I suppose I mean is that I don't set goals for myself the way some people have. First of all, what you want/need changes so much through your life that what makes sense at 20 will undoubtedly make zero sense to your life at 40. Also, what if you don't meet those goals? Who needs that kind of pressure?

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    • Phineas Gage
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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2009, 03:55:09 PM »
Well there is that.  ;)

First of all, what you want/need changes so much through your life that what makes sense at 20 will undoubtedly make zero sense to your life at 40. Also, what if you don't meet those goals? Who needs that kind of pressure?



I agree, what you wanted at age 20 may not be what you want at age 40. But if you dont set goals for yourself, what are you working towards? It doesn't necessarily have to be life changing goals in my opinion. For example, I remember when I was a little girl I was fascinated by sewing and had this urge to make a quilt. My family wasnt very well off so I never got my sewing machine. Jan 2009 I decided a short term goal would be to learn how to make a quilt. With the help of youtue and quilting magazines I'm already on quilt #3 and its only April. Its not a life changing goal but it has definitely added a new joy to my life and I feel so exastic when I give my quilts away to close friends and family.

You may not feel like you want to make a long term goal, but what are some things you've always wanted to do, but never have? I would say go ahead and DO IT.
Elena


Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #24 on: April 19, 2009, 04:50:45 PM »
I agree, what you wanted at age 20 may not be what you want at age 40. But if you dont set goals for yourself, what are you working towards?

Well, I like my life to include as little of the term 'work' as possible.  ;) 

I don't see my life as things I need to 'work' towards.  I just take what comes and go with the flow and see and live life as a continuum, to be enjoyed to the maximum.

For me, life is what passes you by what you're busy making plans.

Takes all colours to make a rainbow, so if others chose to pursue things differently, good on them.

 :D



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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #25 on: April 19, 2009, 05:17:23 PM »
What I suppose I mean is that I don't set goals for myself the way some people have.

Yes, I never understood the thing about 5-year plans, 10-year plans, etc.  The idea of having one stresses me out too much!  :P

Things I thought I would be when I grew up:  a writer (I was writing 'books' when I was 6-7 years old), then an actress/singer (I used to put on one-girl variety shows out on this raised cement slab in our backyard - the roof of the storm cellar), then a psychoanalyst (I read the book Sybil when I was about 9 or 10 years old), then a journalist, then a social worker, before finally getting a degree in -  history.  Lol!

Great stories everybody!  Hope people will keep posting stuff.  :)
« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 05:22:50 PM by Mrs Robinson »
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #26 on: April 19, 2009, 05:44:16 PM »
Yes, I never understood the thing about 5-year plans, 10-year plans, etc.  The idea of having one stresses me out too much!  :P

Things I thought I would be when I grew up:  a writer (I was writing 'books' when I was 6-7 years old), then an actress/singer (I used to put on one-girl variety shows out on this raised cement slab in our backyard - the roof of the storm cellar), then a psychoanalyst (I read the book Sybil when I was about 9 or 10 years old), then a journalist, then a social worker, before finally getting a degree in -  history.  Lol!

Great stories everybody!  Hope people will keep posting stuff.  :)
Some of the things you wanted to be sound familiar--writer, journalist....I did a similar thing with the variety shows on the side of our house.

The idea of 5 and 10 year plans stresses me out as well and I've never made a plan like that.  I don't like the idea of life happening passing me by or happening while I make other plans, etc, so maybe there is some sort of comprimise?

In my late teens, early twenties I had a vague idea of what I thought my life would bring me.  I pictured myself as an artist (it changed from commercial art to fine art) in the big city (NYC or Philly or Chicago) and didn't want to have kids or a husband.  That was as specific as it got.

Anyway, I've always had a sense of adventure and risk (not as big as some people's though!) so if there was something I wanted to do or try, I did.  At 19 I realized I wanted to be an artist and knew that meant I had to get out of the college I was currently attending and get my portfolio together and try to get accepted to an art college.  I did and it was one of the happiest days of my young life!  About 15 years later I decided I didn't want to pursue a career in art and decided to try music just for the heck of it--and learning music was the biggest and most dramatic thing I've probably done (besides move to the UK).  It has changed my life immensely, and is not anything my 19 year old self would have expected.

My 19 year old self would not have expected to have been married and divorced, either.  But those years were actually good for the most part and I was in a band and worked in a stimulating, fun hippy environment, etc.  My younger self would have thought it was really cool, but again, unexpected.

My younger self would have cheered me on when I decided to go for it, leave everything (job, apartment), and spend the summer in Ireland (something I really wanted to do for a long time) after my divorce was final.

And like someone else here said, I didn't just want to travel but I wanted to live in another country--preferably Ireland or England, and that is magically what happened!

I am having my ups and downs of course and still am not sure what I want to be when I grow up, and I think my younger self would be sad about that and sad that I haven't felt at all inspired by my music lately (the very thing that brought me to Ireland and how I met my now hubby).



Met husband-to-be in Ireland July 2006
Married October 2007
Became a British citizen 21 July 2011
Separated from husband August 2014
Off on an Irish adventure October 2014


Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #27 on: April 19, 2009, 06:28:34 PM »
Yes, I never understood the thing about 5-year plans, 10-year plans, etc.  The idea of having one stresses me out too much!  :P


Me, neither.

Always found that too restrictive for me. 

I'd hear '5-to-10 years' and think immediately of a prison term.



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Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #28 on: April 19, 2009, 06:31:50 PM »
I'd hear '5-to-10 years' and think immediately of a prison term.

The thought comes to my mind 'I might be dead by then' (hopefully not!) & there I'd have wasted all that time making plans, lists & spreadsheets - that I could have spent living!  :P
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


Re: Is your life how you thought it would be?
« Reply #29 on: April 19, 2009, 06:34:42 PM »
The thought comes to my mind 'I might be dead by then' (hopefully not!) & there I'd have wasted all that time making plans, lists & spreadsheets - that I could have spent living!  :P

Oh, I'm horrible with spreadsheets!  I just think, 'This is for accounting, not my life!'



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