Is your life how you thought it would be?

I don't know if how life is paced is exactly the difference between US and UK.  People being overworked is definitely something you'd find more in the US than here, but life can be hectic here as well.

Wow is this how it is to live in UK? No worries? No stress? Maybe the American way REALLY IS fast paced and stressful? I'm a city girl all my life so I'm also very used to the fast paced life and actually feel depressed if I have nothing to do or work on.

I don't think it's a UK/US thing.  I'm American, have no plan, never had a plan, and moving to the UK hasn't changed that.  The only place I've ever lived where people seemed to enjoy out-working/out-stressing each other was New York, but I was still able to ignore it and do my own thing.

And whenever we went into London for a show or something, I was depressed by all those gray-faced businesspersons coming out of the city crammed into the last train. It must be an urban/rural thing.

It must be an urban/rural thing.

I think it's a personality thing.    

And whenever we went into London for a show or something, I was depressed by all those gray-faced businesspersons coming out of the city crammed into the last train. It must be an urban/rural thing.

It must be since I'd find being out of London more depressing than being in. I am a city girl in America and a city girl in the UK. That didn't change, I think.

Farmers work their asses off and have to be compulsive planners.  I don't see what it has to do with the city/country - except that people who like the hectic might gravititate to cities and vice versa.

You're going to get both types of people in both places though.   

I'm a city girl all my life so I'm also very used to the fast paced life and actually feel depressed if I have nothing to do or work on.

But there's no such thing as 'nothing to do'.  I mean, sitting on the porch watching boats go by is doing something, after all.  Even sleeping is doing something.

I do hear people say, 'I'd be bored if I didn't work,' and I think, 'Only boring people are bored' 

The only place I've ever lived where people seemed to enjoy out-working/out-stressing each other was New York, but I was still able to ignore it and do my own thing.

That does seem to be a much more American thing.

I agree, what you wanted at age 20 may not be what you want at age 40. But if you dont set goals for yourself, what are you working towards? It doesn't necessarily have to be life changing goals in my opinion. For example, I remember when I was a little girl I was fascinated by sewing and had this urge to make a quilt. My family wasnt very well off so I never got my sewing machine. Jan 2009 I decided a short term goal would be to learn how to make a quilt. With the help of youtue and quilting magazines I'm already on quilt #3 and its only April. Its not a life changing goal but it has definitely added a new joy to my life and I feel so exastic when I give my quilts away to close friends and family.

You may not feel like you want to make a long term goal, but what are some things you've always wanted to do, but never have? I would say go ahead and DO IT.

One of these days, I'd like to make a quilt too.  I've never done it, but it sounds like fun.

My life has certainly not turned out the way I thought.  I was going to be a career politician, probably in Parliament by the age of 25, and had no real thought for a family or children...I think my idea was to get established in my career then worry about a family later, but it was definitely an afterthought.  Now, I have nothing but contempt for politicians, I am doing something I never thought i'd due (Altruistic?  Helping immigrants Little Tory Vicky?  No WAY!) and I can't wait to have children and would love to give up work when I start a family (I wish!).  I think I had a skewed idea of what would make me happy which has changed dramatically since I grew up, and since I met Dan.

I have also lived in India for 18 months, and started my own business, which were certainly not in the game plan.

Vicky

I only had one major plan from the age of seven: become a vet!

I'm one year away from attaining that goal, and hopefully, I won't suck at it (that's my next major goal: don't suck at being a vet).

I never thought I'd be married at 21 - to a Brit! But I always have loved the UK and have harbored a desire to live there from the age of I dunno 14 or 15. My parents sort of ruefully look back on their idea to send me to Spain for three months to live with relatives (at 15), they say "If only we hadn't given her the taste of Europe, she'd never be leaving us" ;-). They're so wrong! I studied abroad in undergrad, and while I was falling in love with my DH the idea of living in England just totally cemented itself. A few months spent visiting his Aunty and Uncle in Yorkshire (spread over a couple of years) and my absolute undying love for Yorkshire was born. :-)

So long term plan = graduate vet school, FIND A JOB! (hopefully in Yorkshire/somewhere close enough to Yorkshire that I can visit often), be GREAT at said hypothetical job, travel, more cats, babies?!, train a dog to run agility courses, get rich (haha), farm?! (with goats - make goat cheese and goat cheese products -, geese, ducks, cows...maybe a horse...they're too much trouble really), start a cat sanctuary or contribute something meaningful to the welfare of animals, play with grandchildren, die (preferably at v.old age!)?

thats the "grand plan" who knows what will happen!!! (except for the last bit, as someone else pointed out ;-))

My grandmother had my mom at age 30, and my mom had me at age 30, so I always had a deadline in my head... married with kids by age 30. Then 30 came and went, and I was single with no prospects. I was depressed for a few months, feeling like a complete and utter failure, but soon decided that was a complete waste of time. I started counting the good things in my life... the number of friends I've accumulated, how remarkably beautiful and wonderful Portland, Maine, is, how I'm intrepid and have the freedom to go anywhere or do anything I like specifically because I'm not married with kids. And right when I hit the pinacle of happiness in my single life, I met DBF. It often happens like that, doesn't it.

But there's no such thing as 'nothing to do'.  I mean, sitting on the porch watching boats go by is doing something, after all.  Even sleeping is doing something.

I do hear people say, 'I'd be bored if I didn't work,' and I think, 'Only boring people are bored' 

YES! YES! YES!!!!!

I think I would be able to really answer this question only on my deathbed...

At 17, I thought I would be married with kids by 26. Instead, I studied abroad in London when I was 20, which started an unending love affair with England. I went back at 21 on my own. Since returning, I've gotten a master's degree and started a job that I enjoy. My goal since then has been to get back to London.

I'm 26 now, no husband or kids, and I'm not in London. But since then, I've gotten a master's degree and started a profession that I do enjoy. I've made a commitment to bloom where I am planted, even if it is not where I want to be.

I can say right now that it is not what I wanted it to be, but I am happy. And I am only 26. Some people on this board didn't move to England until their 30's or 40's. I hope I don't have to wait that long, but I expect good things to happen to me between now and when that day comes. Is it what I thought it would be? I'll be able to answer that only at the end of it.

I think I would be able to really answer this question only on my deathbed...

At 17, I thought I would be married with kids by 26. Instead, I studied abroad in London when I was 20, which started an unending love affair with England. I went back at 21 on my own. Since returning, I've gotten a master's degree and started a job that I enjoy. My goal since then has been to get back to London.

I'm 26 now, no husband or kids, and I'm not in London. But since then, I've gotten a master's degree and started a profession that I do enjoy. I've made a commitment to bloom where I am planted, even if it is not where I want to be.

I can say right now that it is not what I wanted it to be, but I am happy. And I am only 26. Some people on this board didn't move to England until their 30's or 40's. I hope I don't have to wait that long, but I expect good things to happen to me between now and when that day comes. Is it what I thought it would be? I'll be able to answer that only at the end of it.

your life sounds like mine. If its in your will to be in England, it will happen. Opportunities come when we least expect it and when we need it the most.

I never had plans. Or, if I did, they changed every week. I prefer the adventure of not knowing what tomorrow holds.

This is me as well, almost to a fault!  Most of the big things that have happened in my life have been practically an impulse - it seemed like it would be something I'd like, so I did it.  And if I hadn't been impulsive, I wouldn't be married to a swell guy (went out with him on a dare!), have a fabulous son ("I think it would be neat to have a kid", I thought, about ten months before he was born), or live in a great town (we decided to move here about five minutes after stepping off the plane).

Sure, it's not for everyone, but I couldn't live any other way.