Is your life how you thought it would be?

I only had one major plan from the age of seven: become a vet!
 A few months spent visiting his Aunty and Uncle in Yorkshire (spread over a couple of years) and my absolute undying love for Yorkshire was born. :-)

So long term plan = graduate vet school, FIND A JOB! (hopefully in Yorkshire/somewhere close enough to Yorkshire that I can visit often),

So how many Doctor Harriet books have you read?

So how many Doctor Harriet books have you read?

I've read most of them :-) The very odd thing is that I had *no* idea who James Herriot was until I was a year and a half into vet school, visiting Yorkshire, and driving with Ed's uncle through Thirsk as he pointed out Dr. Wight's (his real name) real life practice! And said something like "so do you like those James Herriot books" and I said "ummm...who's James Herriot?"

I do love the books now that I've read them, though. :-)

ETA: I still haven't visited the practice (it's now open as a museum of sorts, I believe). Though I do have plans of doing that in the future!

But there's no such thing as 'nothing to do'.  I mean, sitting on the porch watching boats go by is doing something, after all.  Even sleeping is doing something.

I do hear people say, 'I'd be bored if I didn't work,' and I think, 'Only boring people are bored' 

I agree!!!!  There is no excuse for boredom.  I'm retired and there is plenty to do.  Drives me nuts when people say they'll be bored when they retire. 

I am not a city girl, never have been, although I do enjoy trips to London and other cities for a few days.  Then it's time to get the hell out and back where it's peaceful. 

As for the topic question - my life it completely different than I thought it would be - it's better than I could have ever hoped for.

I agree!!!!  There is no excuse for boredom.  I'm retired and there is plenty to do.  Drives me nuts when people say they'll be bored when they retire. 

Yeah! I can find a gazillion things to do without working. I can't wait until I retire! A long, long, time away...   

Meaning how you dreamed or wanted it to be?  This is sort of inspired by the "Can you love someone you havn't met?"  Both Jewlz and I commented about our 'fairy tale' coming true, and then the thread went onto a discussion of fairy tale vs real life, what is real love, different kinds of love, etc etc...

So for the record, I never had a wicked stepmother or stepsisters, tried on any glass slippers, didn't ride around in a pumpkin, sleep on a pea, no fairy godmother showed up, nor did any unicorns, horses, swans, fairies, birds, chipmunks, goblins, ogres, wolves, foxes, or snakes.

But I had a pretty rotten childhood (I wasn't physically abused so that's something!) and then my early adulthood wasn't much better due to all the heavy emotional baggage from childhood & so on & so forth.  So by the time I was - oh, 38-ish, I was that 'Dolly for Sue' from the Island of Misfit Toys...'I have no dreams left to dream'.  I had given up on marriage, and just decided to try & do more traveling (something I've always enjoyed more than just about anything else - well ok, there is food too!  )...which caused me to join an international penpals website - hoping to meet some folks abroad somewhere that I could become friends with & maybe go visit someday.

And then this nice man emailed me, and we started corresponding...  But by this time, if I was going to be involved with someone - well there is an Enzo Enzo song Juste Quelqu'un de Bien...which I think translates (roughly) - the jist of the song about just wanting a good/nice/kind person.

Now here I am - nearly 7 years after he started to write me, married to him & my life is everything I've ever wanted it to be & even some stuff I never thought about before but that just suits the person I am.  Everytime I look at my man (who is no Prince Charming, btw - he has 'warts' - lol!) - I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.  I live in a beautiful place, we have a nice home (nothing extravagant), our life together is happy and content, I get to travel a lot - amazing after everything I went through that here I am where I always wanted to be (I don't mean England - I just mean the situation).  I feel like one of the luckiest people on the planet.  I have what I want, and I want what I have.    (I have great in-laws too, after a couple sets of previously quite bad ones.)  Okay now I'll shut up & wait for the other shoe to drop! 

What else could I wish for?

1) I would prefer to live somewhere warm & tropical/subtropical, but this has not been a dealbreaker, in the end.

2) I would prefer to be thin - but ha ha ha ha ha - THAT is never going to pass, although I'll keep trying to get healthier.

3) I wish I knew what I want to be when I grow up.

But that's about it.

How does your life compare to what you dreamed/wanted it to be?

PS - DH thinks I really ought to say that he is Prince Charming. 

I could agree with just about everything you said there, Mrs. R. I wasn't looking for Mr. Right, but I found him! My life certainly isn't what I thought it would be a few years ago, because I definitely didn't expect to be here and with him, and all of that good stuff! But as far as what I expected just before I moved over, it's much better than I thought it would be in many ways. Meeting DH is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of how much better my life is with him in it, or how I am happier than I have ever been. I had a pretty bad life for a long time, mostly just poor choices I made and a series of misfortunes, then I focused everything on my education and hopefully starting a career I would enjoy. It was my life's mission to be self-sufficient, I had no plans of ever getting married (well, I had never met anyone I would consider spending that much time with!) and I stayed busy with my studies and working to make ends meet. My prorities have changed so much now. Because of DH, I realized a great career isn't the most important thing to me. It would be nice if it would happen at some point after all of the effort I put into it, but if it never does, it isn't the end of the world. I can work to live, not live to work! I love our lifestyle, I love our house, I love being by the beach, I love my stepson, and above all, I love my husband. My job isn't unbearable, either -- I get loads of holidays, I don't have to "clock in," and I get to fool around online most of the day. Yeah, it's a bit boring at times, but as long as everything else is perfect, then why should it really matter so much? I feel so much less stress, pressure, and anxiety now that my focus in life has shifted. I don't regret my education at all, or resent that it hasn't made me a millionnaire or anything. In fact, had it not been for that, I would never have met DH, so even if I end up being a receptionist for the rest of my life, I can't say the route I took didn't lead anywhere! Our days feel pretty full just by being together. I used to be so lonely sometimes, my apartment was a mess, I hated waiting tables, I worked several internships that didn't lead anywhere, I never went outside because it was too hot most of the time, and when I wasn't completely busy with school and work, I felt so bored and anxious. Now I have next to nothing to do most of the time, and I'm never bored (except at work  ) and I don't have that feeling of constantly wanting to change things or escape my life or situation. For the first time, I'm just happy with things the way they are. 

Because of DH, I realized a great career isn't the most important thing to me. It would be nice if it would happen at some point after all of the effort I put into it, but if it never does, it isn't the end of the world. I can work to live, not live to work!

Yes! This x1000 for me too.  I've always been a very career-focused, overachiever type, and while I still have the high achieving type personality, building a life with DH and going through all the immigration nonsense really brought home that what I do for a living is not my top priority in the slightest, and what I really want to focus on is my home and my family. 

For me, that includes working both because of financial necessity and because I mostly enjoy what I do, but it's just a job.  DH and I are starting a business on the side to follow some other interests, but even that is going to be more of a "hey, we'd do this anyway and we're actually pretty damn good at it so why not try to get paid for it?" kind of thing and I doubt it'll become a full time endeavour any time soon.  I'm all about the work to live lifestyle

Quote from: Jewlz on Today at 11:31:30 AM
Because of DH, I realized a great career isn't the most important thing to me. It would be nice if it would happen at some point after all of the effort I put into it, but if it never does, it isn't the end of the world. I can work to live, not live to work!

Yes! This x1000 for me too.  I've always been a very career-focused, overachiever type, and while I still have the high achieving type personality, building a life with DH and going through all the immigration nonsense really brought home that what I do for a living is not my top priority in the slightest, and what I really want to focus on is my home and my family. 

For me, that includes working both because of financial necessity and because I mostly enjoy what I do, but it's just a job.  DH and I are starting a business on the side to follow some other interests, but even that is going to be more of a "hey, we'd do this anyway and we're actually pretty damn good at it so why not try to get paid for it?" kind of thing and I doubt it'll become a full time endeavour any time soon.  I'm all about the work to live lifestyle

Jewlz and Springhaze--I really like this.....

I'm glad others feel the same way. It was hard feeling disappointed every day about my job and feeling worthless because I didn't feel successful. It's not to say I'm never, ever disappointed with the job I have now, but the focus is on other things, so I just rarely ever think about it!    I'm 100 x happier with life now.

your life sounds like mine. If its in your will to be in England, it will happen. Opportunities come when we least expect it and when we need it the most.

Try telling the Home Office that.  But I do try and keep the faith that the right opportunity will come my way. It's just a waiting game for now.

Is my life what I planned it would be...well, yes and no...

The only thing I ever planned/expected was my schooling and career.  I had a goal that I would reach a certain level career wise by the time I was 35 and I did...now that I am here is it what I expected?  Not at all....I wish I would've chosen to do something I was passionate about, rather than something I am good at.

I never planned being married and having kids...not to say that I wouldn't...I just never throught about it.  I was very career focused.  Then I got pregnant unexpectedly with my daughter and unexpectedly became a mom...shortly after that, I met my DF on a business trip in London...meeting him was completely unexpected.  BUt I must admit I was open to anything at that point in my life.  Even though, I had petty much given up hope when it came to men, b/c I had a string of unsuccessful relationships.  Now here I am planning a wedding and getting ready to move my entire life.  That certainly wasn't what I expected, but I am thrilled!

I had an epiphany moment recently where I said the life I have now is not the life I am meant to live....that was an eye opening experience.  I worked so hard to reach my career goals and have so many things to be thankful for, including my daughter....but this work, gym, home, rinse and repeat life is not what I want for myself.  Need a bit more excitiment! 

My life isn't at all like I thought/hoped it would be. I hoped to be married with at least one child by now. I wanted to study abroad, but that didn't pan out and now we're not sure when we'll be moving to England. Never thought I'd be working a job that I have to work such long hours for and am underpaid.

I also never thought I would have been to see Ireland when I was 25 (one of my biggest goals was to see Ireland) or have been to England 4x. I had started to feel like I'd never find anyone who could love me despite all my faults, but then I found DB.

So, it's not how I thought/hoped it would be, but if we can get out of debt and live within our means, we'll get there, just later than I thought.

if we can get out of debt and live within our means, we'll get there,

How unpatriotic! 

My life is not how I imagined it at all, but in a good way. I never thought I would still be in the UK after 10+ years, nor that I would be British and consider the UK also home, just like Canada. Nor was I ever into getting married and next year, I'll have been married 10 years! 

I am glad I am less career orientated than when I was younger. I am more balanced and I think I do more to take care of myself. I find I am much more comfortable in myself. I still like to make some goals and plans as things to look forward to, but I feel more flexible in letting life be what it is and just letting go. 

All of that being said, if my 'now' self talked to my 'then' self, I would not believe myself at all in how things are. 

When I was 17, just graduated from High School I had my life planned out, I knew exactly how it was going to be...How wrong, but eventually right I was!

I had planned that I would graduate from University at 21...I was 26 by the time I finished due to a 3 year hiatus of not knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up!

I had planned on getting married & having my 2 kids by the time I was 30...I was 33 by the time I got married due to a 7 year nightmare abusive relationship that DH rescued (literally) me from, I was 33 when our lovely daughter was born...she'll be 1 year next month.

I had planned on living no where near my hometown, which was ambitious for a 17 year old that had never really been anywhere in her life on her own, except for that band trip to Vancouver earlier in the year...I got there eventually (save that 7 year mistake) and here I am 6,000 miles away & DH & I are plotting & planning on how to get back to that 'boring' hometown of mine where nothing really happens, I realize now why my parents chose that place when I was a kid...it's a safe place to raise children...and all my family is still in the area.

I wanted to be a stay at home mom, and after that 7 year nightmare of being used and the only breadwinner, I am...now I'm missing working and the pride I used to take in what I did and the sense of participating in helping those in need.

I have a DH that thinks the world of me, who overlooks my faults but will call me on it if I'm being unhealthy (emotionally and physically) but loves me anyway.

So, to my 17 year old I would say you've got the right idea, but it may take longer than you think....

To that 30 year old that had given up the hope of ever being happy and accepting her 'punishment' whenever it was dealt...I'd tell her not to give up and to fight back, you're worth more than that. Knights in shining armour really do exist...accent & all 

So I guess my life has turned out how I dreamed it would be, albeit not to the timeline I had imagined...but yeah...now if I can just get a job  minor detail I guess.

I had planned on living no where near my hometown, which was ambitious for a 17 year old that had never really been anywhere in her life on her own, except for that band trip to Vancouver earlier in the year...

Vancouver, Washington or Vancouver, BC? 

I think my younger self would have been pleased that I have had the opportunities in regards to travel and education that I have had, as I have had more opportunities in these areas than I ever imagined. I think that would have seemed both exciting and impossible to my younger self.