Dating an Englishman (possibly)

OH!  And a typical stereotype here in the US is that the 3rd date guarantees intimacy!  ::)Thought I would point out that stereotypes abound on both sides.

That's a funny one...  And there are a lot of disappointed guys even from the US who make THAT assumption!

Amy 

Ah yeah, the old "third date" thing, LOL!!!  That one's a big opportunity for disappointment! (Or not .....depends if it's Daniel Craig!! )

I think there was this one guy I dated briefly in Austin who seemed to be a fully paid-up subscriber to that one! He seemed so intent on getting to that "third date" that I realized this was one of those dudes that take the mythical magic number seriously -- I always just took it as something stand up comics make jokes about, hah!

But he was the only one like that in my pantheon; with others I recall things were just played by ear in a natural and organic way. One guy I was friends with for ten years before anything developed. 

But yeah, I'm with you about Daniel Craig. Forget dinner, Dan. You, me, and the broom closet. 

After reading this thread, I now feel about a thousand years old.

Blech.  Me too.... and I'm 28!  I've never guaranteed intimacy on the 3rd date, nor have I thought it was normal to date more than one person.   

Also... "I have read that UK folks really don't see early sex as a deal breaker".  This is actually written somewhere!?   Creepy.

soon-to-be-30 here, and while I've heard of the third date thing, I've never put much stock in it and let things happen naturally. I've never felt pressured to have sex, either with a casual date or a serious boyfriend...and I've also never dated more than one person at a time.  Once I started seeing someone, even if it wasn't "official", I didn't accept dates and neither did the guy!

Blech.  Me too.... and I'm 28!  I've never guaranteed intimacy on the 3rd date, nor have I thought it was normal to date more than one person.   

Also... "I have read that UK folks really don't see early sex as a deal breaker".  This is actually written somewhere!?   Creepy.

You see, this is what I've been trying to say -- these things should not ever be some kind of "guaranteed." Things should indeed happen naturally.

It IS creepy -- and dangerously misleading --  to assume that "early sex is not a dealbreaker" for an entire nation (!) or that the third date is always The Night. Those are ridiculous assumptions/stereotypes.

These assumptions completely rule out the fact that many more people than is given credit for are making more considered decisions than these.

On both sides of the Atlantic I have noticed people just following their own individual hearts on a case by case basis.

Dating more than one person...no I haven't done that either. Who has the time?! I've always usually just met one person at a time, in life, and dealt with that, whether it went anywhere or not. I don't think I've ever followed any formula and I think people in general mostly don't either.

I also think being in a long distance relationship changes things.  For example, a couple who meets via the internet but doesn't meet in person for months or even years....they finally meet and they have sex right away.  Some people might suggest it was "too soon", but to them, it was just right because they had spent all those months/years getting to know each other.

Also... "I have read that UK folks really don't see early sex as a deal breaker".  This is actually written somewhere!?   Creepy.

Tell me about it. Not to mention, any guy who actually has a blanket policy on how early sex is and is not acceptable for a woman (be he American or Brit) is not a guy I'd want to date.

But, best of luck to you, no matter what you decide! ... and no, there are no across the board differences when it comes to dating a British man.  SaraSmile's opinion on Brit's take on casual sex has not been my experience at all, so it will depend on the particular person rather than their country of birth.

Agreed. Vincent has always been a strictly commitment-oriented person. That was definitely never his view of dating!

Blech.  Me too.... and I'm 28!  I've never guaranteed intimacy on the 3rd date, nor have I thought it was normal to date more than one person.   

Also... "I have read that UK folks really don't see early sex as a deal breaker".  This is actually written somewhere!?   Creepy.

I'm only 22.... But yeah, I have never held such a philosophy. In fact, my husband and I are commitment-aholics and have been together since I was 16. So, neither of us really has experience in the typical dating world... And we are both very thankful for that fact.

My bf has a theory that American women and British men are extra compatible.  He feels that the confidence and out-goingness most American women express is compatible with the reserved nature of most British men.  I'm the second American girl he has seriously dated (he went to grad school here) and I like to tease him that he just likes blonde girls from California.

My bf has a theory that American women and British men are extra compatible.  He feels that the confidence and out-goingness most American women express is compatible with the reserved nature of most British men.  I'm the second American girl he has seriously dated (he went to grad school here) and I like to tease him that he just likes blonde girls from California.

Lol, I'm not extremely outgoing. Though it depends on the situation. Generally, in situations where he is reserved, I am outgoing, and vice versa. So yeah, I guess the compatability theory is true.

Tell me about it. Not to mention, any guy who actually has a blanket policy on how early sex is and is not acceptable for a woman (be he American or Brit) is not a guy I'd want to date.

Same here!

Well it looks like, based on all the answers, I should just take it as it comes....   See what happens, take a chance, ane follow my heart.

I will, and I shall let you know what happens.  I think something great could happen, but only time will tell.....

Life is what it is, and what is meant to be will be...

Amy   

(I am considered very attractive by US standards, and guys want to make me a notch on their bedpost - yuck!),

Oh, i've just got to ask! What does US standards mean exactly??? Fake boobs? Extra white teeth? 

Oh, i've just got to ask! What does US standards mean exactly??? Fake boobs? Extra white teeth? 

Think Pamela Anderson...but she's Canadian (I think).

On the US standards of attractiveness topic , I noticed when I was last in the states that all the female newsreaders have this sort of similar plastic surgery, botox, face non-moving look. I was very surprised, comparing them to our newsreaders....long straight hair, bee stung lips (whatever that means) very long straightened hair, very very made up looking...it was a bit off putting while watching the news. Anyone know what I mean?