Dealing with Angry Family Members...

As much as you don't like it, your relationship with your BF IS different to your other relatives because you live 5000 miles away.  As such, things that seem reasonable when your BF is down the street, just aren't when they are 5000 miles away.

I agree with this. It's a completely different sort of relationship - and since it's the relationship you've chosen, you have no choice other than to accept the fact that some family and friends will not view it in the same way they would if your boyfriend lived down the street. Not that it makes it any easier, but that's just the way it is.

I also think (and this is just in my nearly half-century of life experience) that constantly over-analysing the situation and other people's motives and behaviour is a HUGE waste of time. Trust me - they're not spending this amount of time and energy thinking about you. Just get on with your life! You'll be much happier! 

I also think (and this is just in my nearly half-century of life experience) that constantly over-analysing the situation and other people's motives and behaviour is a HUGE waste of time. Trust me - they're not spending this amount of time and energy thinking about you. Just get on with your life! You'll be much happier! 

agreed!   

I also think (and this is just in my nearly half-century of life experience) that constantly over-analysing the situation and other people's motives and behaviour is a HUGE waste of time. Trust me - they're not spending this amount of time and energy thinking about you. Just get on with your life! You'll be much happier! 

Very wise Words!

over-analysing the situation and other people's motives and behaviour is a HUGE waste of time. Trust me - they're not spending this amount of time and energy thinking about you. Just get on with your life! You'll be much happier! 

Agreed, agreed. This is something I've made a real effort to change in my own life over the last 8 years or so since I began this us/uk adventure. Some of my family was very upset with me for leaving. Just as some of my family was very upset that we mvoed back to the US. And Also just as some of my family are upset that we are thinking of moving back.

People react differently too, and what might be perceived as lashing out is really just them being sad and having no better way to express it. It doesn't make it easier, but doing what chary said above does help.

To just hold you hands in the air, let it go, and realize that especially when you are dealing with big life changes like this, you aren't going to make everyone happy. And you can waste SO much time trying to even understand it all.

All you can do is make sure You continue to be a supportive, loving family member - and hope this all calms down and sorts itself out soon enough. Which it will, if there is real love in the relationship. But right now she probably just needs space.

Marlespo, that was a lovely post.

Perhaps they're just upset that CHANGE is occurring in their lives, and maybe you're the first person to move really far away from the family?  I have a family member who seemed pessimistic about me moving to the UK (and I'm only here for 3 years!) because I would miss out on family holidays.  My mother's always put a guilt trip on me about moving far away...she would be "devastated"...but she understands this UK thing is only temporary.
I really just think people that age don't like change.  Or they think you're moving bc you don't like where you live now, which might hurt them.
Think about yourself, that's my advice.  People can't have children and expect them to stay in the same zip code their whole lives!