Personal Habits

Oh... i think i just about understand it now, DUC.
Could do with a little less of your condescending attitude, though.

I was trying to add a little humor with this post -- but as usual -- some folks just don't get it.

Don't worry tho -- I won't give up 

Tone of voice doesn't exist in written word, unfortunately. That's why we have smilies. 

I doubt DUC was talking about just an annoying phrase. We've all known people who have a word or phrase that they totally overuse. And very often that phrase/word comes out even more when they are nervous - such as speaking in front of clients or a group of people. Yes, it happens in the States too. I suspect the actual phrase (at the end of the day) has less to do with DUC's post than the actual overuse and when it's overused.

I have a teacher at Uni who overuses the word 'right' when she lectures. Many of us have heard people over do the 'ummmms' when they speak. Frankly, it shouldn't happen if you are a professional but not many teache or bothers to learn good public speaking these days.

DUC is right that if her boss is overusing that phrase constantly during even short presentations it very well could impact his ability to be successful. Why should she care? Well, if she's an employee, she has a vested interest in the long-term viability of the company - i.e. she gets to keep her job.

I do agree with Broxi many times with her posts. She had been here much longer than a lot of us and has many insightful things to say. But I have to agree with Mindy - I think there's some history here that should be left behind.

Thanks for that balmerhon  -- very much appreciated

Surely that's a bit of a stretch?  He's crap at his job because he uses a cliché that is so acceptable in the UK that it goes unnoticed by British employees?  In my experience, people get promoted or not based on what people are good at rather than what they are bad at (especially trivia).  I think that, at the end of the day, an underling's job is more at risk if they cause offense to the boss. 

I didn't say he was crap. I said it could impact his job or company's performance. And as far as I can see, you are inferring that only DUC is irritated by this and that she's made an a$$ of herself in telling him. Her original post may have been a bit OTT and humorous, but we don't actually know how she discussed it with her boss. My sense was he agreed with her. I DO know many Brits irritated by the overuse of this expression ('at the end of the day') just as I knew many Yanks irritated by the overuse of 'Like'. Like, ya know? Again, I don't see this as a UK/US thing. I see it as a professional standards thing. I do, however, agree with you that these days managers are not often promoted for what they are good at. And I have a long history of crap bosses to prove it! 

Well, at the risk of hijacking this thread a tad more! 

Depsite my prior post, I do agree with you about 'live and let live' Jemima! Though I don't know how far to take it some times. For example, the department I am doing my PhD in is SO caught up in just letting people get on with their own thing that they take any mild suggestion as outright criticism. There is a stereotype of the British being slow to make changes, particularly within institutions, and I have experienced that at an extreme degree here. And I'm not talking about not making changes because there's no money to do it. That said, I've experienced mind-numbing stubborness in the US, too, so I do recognize it is a stereotype. And you're lucky if you haven't had British people suggest to you that you alter your personal habits within a work environment. That hasn't been my experience (outside the Uni that is!!).

I do greatly appreciate what I consider to be a slightly more tolerant culture here. And I love British eccentricity (just saw a bit on Lord Bath on TV)! But I do agree with DUC in that when quirks get in the way of effectively doing business, then there can be a problem. Is there a problem where she works? Maybe not. Her boss has got to his job somehow. But to suggest that there won't be a problem...well that's a bit of a stretch too. I guess it's all about getting the balance right.

OK, I have babbled far too much. Thanks for the debate! 

Balmerhon - you are a wonderfully charming babbler - babble on, please! 

Balmerhon - you are a wonderfully charming babbler - babble on, please! 

An invitation to babble??? Have I died and gone to heaven? I'm gonna go tell the DF now!!!

 

Well, at the risk of hijacking this thread a tad more! 

And you're lucky if you haven't had British people suggest to you that you alter your personal habits within a work environment. That hasn't been my experience (outside the Uni that is!!).

Got to agree with this.  I've been criticised at work for what I think are pretty much Americanisms or even my own personality.  I shouldn't say tom-ay-to, that's not the way we say it here.  'Have a nice day' sounds insincere.  I let people that I don't like know that I don't like them.   And I'm sure there are more. 
And the 'slow to make changes'.  Oh good Lord, is that ever true where I work.  'That's how we do it'  'That's where the forks are kept'.  And on and on, even when it's proven that the change works for the benefit of everyone.   

Aha! So it's you guys who have all the forks!

Aha! So it's you guys who have all the forks!

Does this mean you've been eating beans and potato salad with your hands...

Aha! So it's you guys who have all the forks!

Well spotted, my honourable Mr N!  Perhaps our dear but strange cousins have hijacked them all in order to use them upside-down and in their right hands! 

Hmmmmm...

Maybe what I like about the culture in the UK is that people don't get so involved in other people's personal habits so much.  Certainly, they don't take personal responsibility for changing them so that they conform to the only right standard (one's own). 

Wow!
I was talking with another expat American friend  today, and she said this very thing!  And I agree.  Because i have been in the UK for a long time, i sometimes forget the things that make me like it so much... but this is definitely one of them!

**edited to make clear that my friend is also an expat**

Wow!
I was talking with another American friend  today, and she said this very thing!  And I agree.  Because i have been in the UK for a long time, i sometimes forget the things that make me like it so much... but this is definitely one of them!

Wow has this thread ever taken some crazy twists and turns. But while we're on this curve, I'll chime in and say that I really like the sort of "mind your own business" mentality in general over here. I was just in Calif. a couple of weeks ago visiting the folks and was in Safeway and the checker would NOT stop talking - I swear I found out more about her in 2 minutes than I know about some of my aquaintances!!!  And she also found it necessary to make weird comments about the stuff I was buying - I wanted to say "just please check me out and let me leave - it's really not your business that I'm buying a million boxes of pancake mix and I don't care that you went to a lousy party last night!" LOL

Ummm...I appreciate there's an undertone of MYOB in this country, but that doesn't stop people from correcting my words (as Mindy pointed out happens to her at times), and knowing my business (there is definitely a gossip wall in my little town). But what's shocked me are some of the questions I have been asked by the British, "what did you pay for your house?" and (a woman I only know by face at the gym) "How much do you weigh?". 

I think after you scratch the surface of life over here, you're not going to find the MYOB is so prevalent. You just haven't realized people are talking about you. Curiosity is everywhere. It's slightly "sneakier" over here.

But, getting back to word-correcting, since I have had my words so corrected over here, I am very much aware of how it feels, and I generally keep my cringing to myself.

...modified bit...
Oh gosh! I just remembered some of the other things people have said!
Definitely at checkouts I get comments on the products I buy. But what floored me once was something a bank teller said! She commented about the amount of money I had deposited. I was so taken aback that I'm sure it showed in my face. I certainly couldn't think of anything to say back, and I just froze there. She hasn't served me since.