Ms vs. Miss vs. Mrs

Yes, really. I assumed it said that on the marriage certificate of all the women here who married in the UK, if that marriage was their first marriage.

I think it does but I've only ever seen it on older certificates. I didn't realise they still do it.

Yes, really. I assumed it said that on the marriage certificate of all the women here who married in the UK, if that marriage was their first marriage.

My husband would have a field day with that!  My US marriage certificate doesn't say anything about your previous relationship status.

I've always hated the convention of a woman becoming Mrs. husband's first name husband's last name when she married. It's like you're no longer a person, you're just an extension of your husband.

I hate it too.  It really, really bugs me to be referred to as Mrs Husbandsfirst Ourlast- it makes me feel like I don't exist!  I think I'll always feel that way- I don't care whether it's convention/tradition or not. My husband doesn't like it either, interestingly enough.

I just dug out my UK marriage certificate, which was issued last year- under "Condition", it says Single for both of us (neither of us has been married before.) No spinsters here!

Yes, really. I assumed it said that on the marriage certificate of all the women here who married in the UK, if that marriage was their first marriage.

Mine says 'single' for both of us, then goes on to list our professions.  We were married in January 2007; I was 26, DH was 31.  Neither of us has been married before.

I believe the spinster/bachelor listings were removed around 2005 when they brought in new civil partnership guidelines. Marriage certificates still only list each person's father's occupation, as well, though they list the occupation of all parents on the civil partnership certificates.

Cross-posted with lilybelle, who is correct.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/04/magazine/04ONLANGUAGE.html

The changes went into effect in December 2005. I was married in June 2005.

The spinster designation must have been an English thing.

My Scots marriage certificate from 1984 lists both as single and gives both occupations.

As much of an independent woman as I am, I'm really looking forward to being Mrs L.

It's the same with "mademoiselle."  It's not used for anyone older than 20 or so.  The first time I went to France I was barely 20 and everyone called me "mademoiselle" but when I went back three years later it was "madame."  That definitely correlates with how I feel about Miss.  It was at about 22-23 that I started using Ms, and I really did consider it a step towards being a full adult.   

Ha! I'm a 35 yo French teacher and I teach the kids that I am Mademoiselle, not Madame since calling me Madame [last name] is like hearing my mother's name! I always figure that if I'm not married by (gulp) 40, then I guess I'll give in and start going by Mme.

As much of an independent woman as I am, I'm really looking forward to being Mrs L.

I'm not particularly feminist about it, but as I will have to deal with the bureaucracy of 3 countries (one of which has really really dreadful and costly bureaucracy) if I want to change my name, I'm keeping my maiden name because I'm lazy and cheap Plus as I have publications in my maiden name, I'd probably keep it professionally, which would make everything extra confusing.

It doesn't bother me at all. I'm more than a name, whatever that name is.

Snap!!!

I've been off line due to broadband issues for a bit and I'm AMAZED that this generated such a debate! I personally don't like Ms and have never referred to myself that way even in my unmarried 30s, but that's very much tied to my personality. Someone at the CRB once told me that if someone ticks "Ms" they assume they're divorced and expect a maiden name otherwise they send the application for the check back, but that could have been misinformation....

Oh and I'm a former spinster on my marriage certificate. I kinda like it. 

Snap!!!

Someone at the CRB once told me that if someone ticks "Ms" they assume they're divorced and expect a maiden name

They should not assume!  I stayed out of this debate this time (we've had it before!) for this long, but I may as well state my opinion.  These days I don't mind Mrs. for the most part, but I do pick and choose when to use it.  I feel it is no-one's business what my marital state is (sometimes I don't mind disclosing it, other times, I do!).  If a man's marital state is not apparant by his title, why should a woman's be (unless she's OK with it)?

As much of an independent woman as I am, I'm really looking forward to being Mrs L.

Why do you say it like those two are opposite?

I'm not particularly feminist about it

As a feminist, I'm kinda bugged by that. Feminism is about having choices, not making some particular ones.

I made my own choice in regards to my name. And I want others to have the same freedom. I am particularly feminist about that.

  I feel it is no-one's business what my marital state is (sometimes I don't mind disclosing it, other times, I do!).  If a man's marital state is not apparant by his title, why should a woman's be (unless she's OK with it)?

Well said, Andee.  Me too.