Ms vs. Miss vs. Mrs

I think that's not a strict rule for doctoral degrees other than an MD.  My mother and husband both have doctoral degrees but would never go by Dr.  It's a hot topic of debate.

It is, yeah, but if there are people on the invitation list who have PhDs and prefer the Dr. honorific, I'd just call them "Dr." whatever I personally felt. I still think "...what others want to be known by" should be the guiding principle if possible.

I love this!!! Can I have an invite to your wedding? I wouldn't need to go, I'd just want an invite!.

ha! It already happened, but you'll be happy to know that I went totally overboard and the reply cards were in Mad-Libs form! So, they said:
We will/will not attend
We can't wait to (verb phrase) and (verb phrase)!
Don't forget to (advice)!

They were AWESOME. I loved the replies I got and stuck a bunch of them in an album.  Lots of them responded to the Einstein quote we had on the invitation of "Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love" by suggesting other things that might be responsible . (DH is a physicist, and I just like quotes!)

So I didn't actually BUY titles, but I did put a joke post up on my blog and facebook telling people that "if there was a title they wanted to be known by for the invitations let me know". You would not BELIEVE how excited people got. I had tons of Lords of such and such and Lady of so and so, a few Dread Pirate and wenches, a "right hounourable" gentleman, and, my personal favourite: "the very model of a modern major general".
That wasn't even half of them, and it was fun.  Anyone who didn't actually reply got the standard Ms/Mr/Mrs/Miss unless I knew they wanted it otherwise.

HAHA I'm totally going to do that for my close friends. 

My biggest pet peeve as far as living in England goes is being listed as Miss... I find it so offensive! I've never been sent anything that doesn't list me as Ms in the US. Miss seems so incredibly old fashioned and I can't imagine anyone I know not mocking it.

My biggest pet peeve as far as living in England goes is being listed as Miss... I find it so offensive! I've never been sent anything that doesn't list me as Ms in the US. Miss seems so incredibly old fashioned and I can't imagine anyone I know not mocking it.

you've obviously not lived in the UK very long!
That's the way we do it.   

My biggest pet peeve as far as living in England goes is being listed as Miss... I find it so offensive!

What do you find offensive about it, lilybelle? I can understand thinking it's old-fashioned from an American perspective ... but offensive??

My husband (then boyfriend) helped me set up an online bulletin board for my classroom, and he, being British, created my login name as: Miss (Maiden). I was a bit taken aback, having always gone by "Ms. Maiden", but then I remembered "Miss Honey" from Roald Dahl's "Matilda", and it made me smile every time I logged in.

That being said, weddings are tricky things, and I was lucky to have a reputation as a slightly eccentric person as it was, so my family was less offended than amused at my breaks from tradition.

What do you find offensive about it, lilybelle? I can understand thinking it's old-fashioned from an American perspective ... but offensive??

My friend in Bristol considered herself a feminist and also found it offensive. Primarily the way that woman are addressed based on their marital status and there is no such distinction for men.

you've obviously not lived in the UK very long!
That's the way we do it.   

I will never get used to it.... never never never! The other professors I worked with in the US actually saw a piece of my mail sent from the UK once and couldn't stop laughing and commenting on not having seen that used since the fifties. But I'd personally prefer Ms over Mrs anyday, so I'm a bit biased.

I think that's not a strict rule for doctoral degrees other than an MD.  My mother and husband both have doctoral degrees but would never go by Dr.  It's a hot topic of debate.

Very true.  I've yet to meet someone with a PhD who goes by "Dr." outside of a professional setting.

The whole Ms/Miss/Mrs thing doesn't really matter much to me.  However, even though it's correct etiquette, I want to maim anyone who sends me something as "Mrs. Husband'sFirstName LastName". GAH!

Although I rarely saw 'Miss' used in the US, I certainly don't recall every seeing anyone mocking it, laughing about it or being insulted by it. Ah, well. Different strokes.

However, even though it's correct etiquette, I want to maim anyone who sends me something as "Mrs. Husband'sFirstName LastName". GAH!

Um ... am I in for a maiming? That's how I addressed my wedding invitations! 

If we're choosing our own title, ohh fun.....put me down as "Her Ladyship". No wait that makes me sound like somebody's prizewinning Russian Blue....

My biggest pet peeve as far as living in England goes is being listed as Miss... I find it so offensive! I've never been sent anything that doesn't list me as Ms in the US. Miss seems so incredibly old fashioned and I can't imagine anyone I know not mocking it.

Seriously though, this is me too. I do actually find it offensive although obviously I don't exactly let it ruin my day -- but I don't like it.

My reasons are as I've mentioned in my other post: it seems to be more suited to either the very young, or an elderly never-married woman, and I'm neither. I feel that the all-inclusive Ms covers the fact that I'm not of completely "Miss" status by dint of being both a middle aged woman and a once-married woman. There's just a little more dignity to it somehow. I think Miss is outmoded and has fallen to under-18 usage in general. Miss does seem very 1950's.

My friend in Bristol considered herself a feminist and also found it offensive. Primarily the way that woman are addressed based on their marital status and there is no such distinction for men.

This. Also, I have always associated Miss with a child and it feels demeaning to have a title based purely on the fact that I'm not married. What if I were a lesbian and my marriage wasn't legally recognized? Would I still have to go by Miss? It also reminds me of awful race politics in the South where teachers of color would still be called Miss even though they were married while all the white teachers would be Mrs. It made me want no part of the term.

My biggest pet peeve as far as living in England goes is being listed as Miss... I find it so offensive! I've never been sent anything that doesn't list me as Ms in the US. Miss seems so incredibly old fashioned and I can't imagine anyone I know not mocking it.

I agree with this somewhat.  I wouldn't actually be offended because I know the intention in the UK would be different than in the US.  To me (in AMerica) it's like a term you would use to insult someone..."Look here...MISS".  As you said, it is a bit old-fashioned so maybe older people would feel different about the term in America.  It may have been used more freely for older women in past generations.

To me, I think it's about perception. I'm a Mrs now, but I really don't like the sound of Mrs. It feels very matronly. But I've never liked Ms either, so I'm stuck. How I miss being a Miss!