For those that have recently moved to the UK...

We've been here for about 5 weeks so far. My wife and I have been together for 14 years so I can't say much about living together for the first time except, be patient and don't argue about little stuff. Try to figure out to whom the issue is most important and go with that as a means to compromise.

As for the rest, I have found people to be very friendly, polite and helpful. They aren't all inviting us to dinner or anything, but I do like the courtesy. My wife is a post-graduate student and has been making friends pretty easily. It helps that there is tea and often wine during and especially after meetings. Finding work can be pretty tough. The culture is different and CVs are weird. People aren't as aggressive here so I struggle with how often to check back about inquiries and what to wear, etc. I'm from the west coast and we can wear jeans for just about any occasion. As far as following up on jobs or, well anything really, I have noticed that Brits aren't in a hurry for much of anything. This a major plus but can also be a frustrating minus. Lines move slowly for food or drinks and it took almost four weeks to get our phone hooked up and we still don't have internet at home. It is nice to slow down though. Oh, don't expect to have a clothes dryer here either.

Overall, we love it here and you'll have a blast. Just keep a positive attitude and roll with the punches. A few weeks in and all will be well.

What a shame.  I remember reading that thread when I first came on UKY and thinking it was good.  I hope the missing posts can eventually be restored.

yeah, that would mainly be me. The thread is very old and over time it fills up with a lot of weird off topic things, even arguments, that then get deleted. Sorry if it isn't always clear, I do my best.

yeah, that would mainly be me. The thread is very old and over time it fills up with a lot of weird off topic things, even arguments, that then get deleted. Sorry if it isn't always clear, I do my best.

No worries. You've got to do your job.  Just wanted to start a new thread without being pointed to an old one with missing posts... so I thought I'd make it clear beforehand I did try to read other threads (I did my homework, LOL).

I really like where this thread is going.  Can't wait to share my experiences!  One week til moving day!

yeah, that would mainly be me. The thread is very old and over time it fills up with a lot of weird off topic things, even arguments, that then get deleted. Sorry if it isn't always clear, I do my best.

It's also because of the mysterious missing posts that happened when Leah did a server update recently.   

Hi I'm not over there yet, but I'm crossing my fingers that it won't be too long! I just wanted to say that this is a great thread; I've been reading each post and it really makes me feel a lot better about things. Thanks!

P.S. Oh my goodness Brandilynn!! My husband and I live (and have lived our whole lives) right near SIU Carbondale...he graduated from there in 2006! Crazy!!

Brandilynn, I was born and raised in Danville!!!! I went to Uni in Carbondale too! What a small world. What year did you graduate Uni if you don't mind me asking?!

It's also because of the mysterious missing posts that happened when Leah did a server update recently.   

Oh yea, that too.

Crazy! So many Salukis. 

And, I graduated this year, actually, in August with a bachelors degree in social work (I'm only 21!) And I actually worked for SIU Alumni Association - so all those newsletters you get I helped with (in small ways!) I actually maintained the website from August 2007-May 2009. Infact I still have admin rights, hmm..

Another thing I have realized is how much cheap fast food I ate. There are no chains (like KFC or McDonalds) in St Andrews, so I don't have access to any. And there are so many nights I'd love to just run through a drivethrough. But, I've learned to cook since I've been here. I NEVER cooked before - but now I can figure out what goes well with what and how to cook it quickly and easily. I also have learned to handle raw meat (ew!) but it still disgusts me.

yeah, that would mainly be me. The thread is very old and over time it fills up with a lot of weird off topic things, even arguments, that then get deleted. Sorry if it isn't always clear, I do my best.

Oh dear, I didn't mean this as a criticism of anybody. Sorry. I just always thought that was a good thread and I felt sorry that some posts now appear blank.  I'm glad that at least Mindy's original great post is still there.

Another Illinoisan checking in! Grew up in Batavia, just outside of Chicago...near Aurora. Went to Eastern Illinois University and wearing my Eastern hoodie right now

Anyhooo, I've been in London for just about a month and a half now and my biggest frustrations have been job searchin' and BT phone lines. I know with the way things are right now, I can't be too frustrated about not finding a job within a month and a half, but we just moved in to our own place so money is tiiiiiight. I am enjoying not working though, so I'm not extremely worried yet
I lived here for 7 months on my own, which was when I met my husband, so culture shock hasn't been a problem for me this time around. It is definitely different being here this time, knowing it's for good. Or atleast for the forseeable future. And there were so many little things that I just didn't have to think about when I was here before. Like phone lines and utilities. In the States, even if you've never had to set up your own phone line before, for example, you at least know who to call to get it figured out. So it is hard to start from scratch here with those little things. I'm 24 so I had just started to get out on my own and feel confident with things like getting my own health insurance, my own bills,etc. and it is is hard to feel like you're just becoming an adult and you have to start over from the beginning. But that's also exciting. It really really is about your attitude.
Friend-wise things are alright. There are people I know from when I worked here before. But I also met my husband at work, so we know all of the same people. But it's fine. He also has a good group of friends who I'm really starting to get to know. And right now we don't spend too much time with other people because we're in that stage where the two of us are really becoming best friends. We were only together for a month and a half before I went back to the States for a year, and in that year we saw each other for a combined total of 7 weeks, including the 2 weeks he spent in the States for our wedding.
Living together for the first time was the thing I worried about the most, but it has been the easiest part, honestly. Except I cannot stand to let him do the dishes because he doesn't rinse and we actually had an argument about how to load the dishwasher. But those things are funny and you have to expect them. The most important thing, I think, is not to go into marriage (not that I'm an expert!!!) or living together thinking everything's going to be wonderful all the time. I was really happy when we had our first big argument in the States, because it meant we'd gotten it out of the way before I moved to another country. We really don't argue much, and when it was getting down to only a couple months before I moved over and we still hadn't had a face-to-face argument I was worried that we'd have a huge one the minute I got to the UK, which would make it seem much worse.
Anyhow, you just have to go into it knowing you'll be homesick sometimes, and knowing you'll be frustrated sometimes. Because those things happen no matter what, but they'll feel so much worse if you're not expecting them. And just get out as much as you can on your own. Go to the library by yourself,etc.
Oh, I actually found Frank's hot sauce in a Sainsburys! I probably caused a scene and then couldn't shut up about it for a few days, but that, more than anything, made me feel like I was really at home
Good luck to everyone about to make the big move. It is scary. But it is all worth it when you're finally sitting on your own couch together watching tv going, 'oh my god, we actually did this.'

Another thing I have realized is how much cheap fast food I ate. There are no chains (like KFC or McDonalds) in St Andrews, so I don't have access to any. And there are so many nights I'd love to just run through a drivethrough. But, I've learned to cook since I've been here. I NEVER cooked before - but now I can figure out what goes well with what and how to cook it quickly and easily. I also have learned to handle raw meat (ew!) but it still disgusts me.

Go vegetarian! And for quick meals, when you do cook--make extra, then freeze some; that way you can defrost it during the day when you're at work or pop it in the microwave when you get home--a quick meal real easy!

I've been here for 15 months.

The first few weeks were a bit hard. I felt so attached to DH that I didn't have a clue what to do with myself for those hours while he was at work. When he came home I was all over him like a rash to the point where if he wanted to play a game online or have an hour to himself, I could hardly handle it. I was a bit intimidated in general because I couldn't understand what a lot of people were saying. I had looked forward to being a stepmom, until a few days after I landed and was confronted with a screaming two year old who would hardly let me anywhere near him. I took a cleaning job about 2 weeks after I got here and go so depressed over it that I cried every day for the week I worked there until I quit. I saw our local newspaper's website while I was job hunting and I emailed them to see if they needed a volunteer. I would walk to the newspaper office every Thursday for 3 hours and have tea and biscuits with some lovely retired ladies. I felt good that I had found something that was just for me, that was just my thing, that didn't involve DH. It was a glimmer of hope.

The next year was much, much better. I got a job as a receptionist where my husband works, so that made me feel a lot better. I was terrified when I first started work (I can remember being baffled over a 2 hole punch since I had only ever seen 3 hole punches... lol). Just the little things took some getting used to. I couldn't understand some people on the phone and had no idea who they were asking for half of the time. But all of that eased up and I started enjoying my coworkers. I got invited to a girl's night out and dinner party. I felt a bit out of place, but I had a good time. I started a yoga class with my work colleague, and one day I missed class because I decided to walk there and went to the wrong building. I was crushed. I made a drunken fool of myself at a pub because I felt so "different" and was tired of feeling like a novelty with everyone at the pub asking me to say certain things and poking fun at my accent. There were some hard moments, and some really good ones. It was a good period of adjustment, that's for sure. Things started coming together, though.

Now, over a year later, I am still adjusting. I've made a few friends of my own outside of work, thanks to this forum. I still hope to make some good English friends. I do know quite a few people, but would like to know some of them better. I love being a stepmom now and get along great with my stepson (most of the time!) My husband is the best thing that ever happened. My job is ok, but I would like something better sometimes. Most days are terrific, a few are awkward - mostly because I am now learning to drive here and it's making me a bit crazy. Another hurdle in the road. But once I cross that hurdle, I know things will just keep going up and up. I already think of this place as home, and I never want to leave.

Whatever happens, don't get discouraged. Take the bad days with the good ones, and realise there will be bad days no matter where you live. Just keep trying and you will get there. It takes years, really, to settle into a new country. It won't happen in a few days, weeks, or months. I'm still adjusting, but it gets a lot easier as time goes on. Just have fun, try to focus on the new things around you rather than the things in America that you miss. Eventually, there will less things you miss in America, and you will find a lot here that you enjoy.

Wow, Jewlz. That was a really great post.

I've only been here for two months, so I don't have much advice about long-term adjustments. I just wanted to chime in because the first couple of weeks (the first month?) were INCREDIBLY hard for me. Not so much the first week (it's so fun! and new! and an adventure!), but directly after that - realizing that I couldn't pick up the phone and call a friend and invite them out to lunch, that my husband actually had a job that he really did have to go to, that I had to find a way to occupy myself in this daunting town and the bus website isn't as helpful as the one I was used to in Portland and I don't know the best stores to buy things or how to get there and I can't get insurance for the car and, and... bleh.

For me it was being uprooted (even though I did it to myself) and the sheer number of *little* things that are different that I couldn't get my bearings right away. It doesn't sound like such a big deal on paper, even to me, but I was going crazy, and on top of that, the big things - not having an income, living with my husband for the first time, him adjusting to being a stepdad - nearly broke me. I slung myself into an intense but thankfully brief period of depression and what-is-this-I'm-useless-here that my husband admitted that he thought I was really going to leave him. 

But it got better. I'm pretty melodramatic so looking back, those first couple of weeks should have been expected. Look at yourself: are you easy-going or do you need things to be a done a certain way? Exceptionally outgoing or does it take you a minute to find your feet and throw yourself into a new town/life/community? You'll have moments either way, but your personality will tell you a lot about how hard the initial adjustment will be.

One thing I'm (almost) regretting is taking this time off after my bachelor's to try my hand at freelancing. It's something I've always wanted to try, and after the debt of my first degree I wasn't ready to jump into more, even with a partial scholarship for my master's program. But I know that I'd be meeting a ton of people right now if I had started my MA like I had planned, and that makes me sad. I have had some really good luck in meeting people elsewhere - here on UKY and other parents through my daughter's school - which is fantastic, and definitely helped me feel more connected and at home. Either way, just find yourself an outlet pretty quickly after you get here, something that's just for you, like Jewlz said. It'll help you establish your own life and not feel so dependent on your husband.

Anywho. Like all things wonderful, there are some hard times you have to slog through to get to them. It'll be great. You'll see. 

 I've been here for almost 7 weeks, and things are going well for the most part.
 
 I love getting to hang out with my fiance all the time and having a normal relationship.
We had only spent about 6 weeks in each others company before this, and I love the fact that there are no goodbyes looming over our heads. Relationship-wise, this is everything I could have wanted, and then some.
 
 I haven't made any friends on my own, but df has some really wonderful friends that I am slowly getting to know. I love hanging out with my future MIL and doing domestic type things like grocery shopping etc...she really is lovely and funny. I am really excited because one of my good friends from Arkansas is in Orleans, France for the year and she is going to come stay for the weekend soon, which will be grand!

 I only have a few qualms with this place, one of which is the previously mentioned unhurried attitude about things.
 I registered my son for school almost 6 weeks ago, and they have yet to find a place for him:(

Another thing is the amount of violence around here is more than a little disturbing. I have seen two fights in broad daylight. I have seen random trails of blood in the town center, and there was a huge amount of blood all over the stairs in our building yesterday. Almost every store window on the seafront has had something hurled thru it, so many street lights are busted out, there is dog crap everywhere...it is filthy. We went out on Friday night and witnessed something pretty gross-About seven months ago a muslim man was murdered about half a mile from our flat. On Friday someone had drawn a chalk outline on the spot where he was killed, and had added horns to the head. People were laughing and pointing like it was somehow hilarious?
WTF?
 If I look out of my front window on a weekend night for any amount of time, I see so many falling-down drunk people struggling to walk home and it is depressing as hell.
 I think it has everything to do with the town I live in...I want OUT of Hastings!!! It has some truly beautiful bits, but I find it kind of menacing after dark. I would love to live in a quiet village somewhere so I don't have to be freaked out by my kid going outside alone. Ugh. I had an idea what I was in for, but it is worse than I imagined. Hopefully we are moving SOON! Hastings is scary!

 I still don't want to move back to America though.