Books you can't bloody stand...

wow, it all sounds so familiar now - how could I have forgotten?

Hmmm... I've read a few that I've really disliked, but when I looked at this topic, the answer that sprang immediately to mind is: ANYTHING BY KATIE MCALLISTER!!! *shudders in horror* One of my good friends and I both complained about these awful books we had read, and by pure coincidence, they were by the same author. Katie McAllister is by far the most annoying writer I have ever encountered. My two cents/1 pence (at current exchange rate ).

Her heroines are the stupidest people on the planet.  I totally agree with you.  And first person sex scenes are yucky, icky, icky!

Her heroines are the stupidest people on the planet.  I totally agree with you.  And first person sex scenes are yucky, icky, icky!

Totally!!  I was so disgusted with her heroines (if you can even use that term with her)!  They're sniveling, stupid girls who make me wonder why ANY guy would be interested in them at all.  They certainly never deserve the lead romantic interest in the book.  The "best friend" is usually far smarter and more interesting than the heroine.  *snort*

ANYWAY...I think James Patterson is THE most overrated writer in the crime/suspense/etc. department. He sucks, imo. His writing style reminds me of the old grammar books that were big in elementary schools in the 70s. "See Dick run. See Jane admire Dick. See Spot and Jane admire Dick. See Dick and Jane get married. See Dick punch Jane in a fit of drunken rage. See Jane go to a home for victims of domestic violence." Okay, maybe he's not THAT simplistic, but he's close.

I agree 100% on this.  I waited ages to get The Lake House by him and then was so disappointed.  I haven't read a book that "simply" written since I was about, oh, 10?  Maybe 8...one of the very few cases where the movies are MOST definitely better than the books!

I've been tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt and buy the newest one, thinking the one I read was an anomaly.  But after reading your opinion, I think I'll save my money - thanks, Suzanne! 

Don't waste another cent on him, peedal. I read one of his books, thought it might be a fluke, read a second one, and the writing was just as poor. I can't believe such a suck writer is a multimillionaire from his writing.

By the way, Ian Rankin, a Scottish crime/suspense writer who grew up in and lives in Edinburgh, is great. He had two different lines of detective novels going, and has written two anthologies of short stories. Even if you don't like crime writing, he knows Edinburgh/Scotland inside and out, and you can get a tour of it from reading some of his work.

Ian Rankin RULES!  Although, he is a native Fifer and not an Edinburgher, he has lived in Edinburgh since his university days (but still retains that lovely Fifer accent).  His Rebus series improves as you go along.  I've been to some of his readings and he's a wonderful spokesperson as well. 

Detectives Rebus and Hieronymous...

I've been meaning to start reading Ian Rankin - but I wasn't reading for so long and now I've picked up a few "current" authors I really like so I'm absolutely inundated trying to catch up with their past books!

Which one should I start with - the first one?  Are his books "progressive," meaning that history from one can carry over to another?

Which one should I start with - the first one? Are his books "progressive," meaning that history from one can carry over to another?

I would definitley start at the beginning of the series: that way, you can really appreciate the development of Rebus.

I love mysteries and I have to agree about Ian Rankin. He's wonderful. Has anyone read any Elizabeth George? She's another of my fave detective authors.

Ooh, this is a great thread! I've been waiting to unburden my load 

First, The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I got TDVC to read on a plane (nothing better available), and it was 'pretty good' apart from the horrid, stilted dialogue and the incessant grammatical errors... but the ending sucked badly. Dear MrCoffee went to England and got me Angels and Demons (to get a 3-for-the-price-of-2 book discount) and it was so bad I felt like I was bipolar: 'oh-my-god can it get worse? vs. 'oh-my-god this cannot possibly get worse', and battling over whether I should drop it lest it get any worse, or whether I should keep going to see just how bad it can get. In that sense it wasn't a disappointment, because the ending was so bad I doubt anybody's ever managed to publish a book with a worse ending.

Then, Lolita by Nabokov. FFS, we all know just how intelligent you are. All the literary references thrown in so that you can laugh at your stupid readers who don't 'get it' get tiring. I swear, he wrote the book just so that he could feel superior.

Oh, here's a bad one: Lost in Translation by Ewa something-or-other. Must confess, bought it because I thought it was the novel that the movie was based on... haven't seen the movie but it did seem interesting. Well, this book shares a title with the movie, and that's it. And it's written in PRESENT TENSE. Horror of horrors. 200+ pages of "I'm four and walking down the street and after dinner I ask mama whether she blablabla".  There are tenses in the English language for a reason.

ANYTHING by Ruth Prawer Jhabwala (sp?). As a fan of Anglo-Indian literature, I picked up a couple of her books. Bad mistake. I really had to force myself to finish them. What's wrong with them? Many things. For instance, I was almost through one book when it turns out the main character/narrator is a 17-year-old lesbian. Now, throughout the book she comes across as a prude in her mid-30s. THAT's BAD WRITING.  Not to mention the lack of editing...

I could probably go on (I don't think I've ever left a book I've started unfinished--gotta get through them even if they're bad; I always give the author a chance to redeem him/herself, even if it happens in the last sentence!) but maybe I shouldn't burden you guys with a longer list.

First, The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I got TDVC to read on a plane (nothing better available), and it was 'pretty good' apart from the horrid, stilted dialogue and the incessant grammatical errors

Yaye! I thought I was the only one who hated The Da Vinci Code! Dan Brown should enroll himself in a freshman writing course immediately!

Then, Lolita by Nabokov. FFS, we all know just how intelligent you are. All the literary references thrown in so that you can laugh at your stupid readers who don't 'get it' get tiring. I swear, he wrote the book just so that he could feel superior.

*BOINK* !

How can you go wrong with Humbert Humbert? ? ?

What do you mean, twisted?