For those not interested in a 'big event'...

I know weddings are a matter of personal tastes, but neither my husband nor I wanted a lot of fuss so this is what we did:

1. Booked the local registry office.
2. Bought a new suit for each of us.
3. Brought my parents over from America.
4. Got a small marzipan and royal icing fruit cake from ASDA!
5. Got a mid-price bottle of champagne and some confetti.
6. Booked a nice local Italian restaurant for after the wedding.

On the day, we all took a cab to the registry office, said our vows, took some photos in the lovely flower garden outside, then our small party went to the restaurant and had a yummy meal, cake and champagne. It cost very little, was festive, memorable and no strain at all--and we're just as married as we would be if we'd spent £5,000. After the parents went back home, we got together with a big group of friends in London and had a party. I would recommend a small, intimate wedding to anyone who is under no family obligation or personal ambition to do the 'big traditional' type!

A girl after my own heart!

As posted in previous thread, low profile is how we went as well but even you made more effort than we did! Our after wedding to-do involved a bottle of champagne between the both of us (from the B&B coffee cups as we forgot to bring any kind of glasses.....which always made us laugh at Stella Artois's ad campaign for their glasses some time afterwards that "you wouldn't drink champagne from a coffee cup" or something similar....er, yeah we would!). This was followed by a pub meal. 

Everyone's different and I love attending the big do's as they're always so gorgeous but it just wasn't our style.

That's the way Jamie and I are doing it.  Small and intimate.  First of all, we just don't have the funds to do a big to-do.  Second, we decided that most of those big parties and receptions and stuff are for EVERYONE ELSE rather than for the bride and groom (which is what the day is supposed to be all about). 

We've booked the local registry office, Jamie is going to get himself something new to wear (but nothing over the top or expensive), he is going to buy me a skirt to go with the beautiful green velvet medieval shirt that he bought for me when we visited Glastonbury, it's just going to be his immediate family there for the ceremony, and then - afterwards - we are going to go to a pub for a couple of drinks.  Nothing "fancy", but just as special and wonderful. 

This is exactly how my husband and I did it in Dublin, except we booked a Nepalese meal.  We even had photos taken in the garden outside and another garden down the road.  My dress was white, vintage-style and under £100, from Brown Thomas on Grafton Street.  Simplicity is the way to go!

Should I ever find a man I feel is worth marrying.. that's probably the way I'll go.  Something small and intimate.  I'm not at all interested in the big ceremony.

We did the same...  it was very nice...  before I moved here we had a family wedding at my stepsisters house...the dress and tux etc...  that was nice too and not over done or expensive...a good send off for me with friends and family...except, it was not a legal wedding...  that was over here this past april...  registars office with some good friends here (including LisaE & Graham ) dinner at a pub then back to house for drinks, cake and mingling...was very nice and cozy...

  We did the same as well....no fuss, no frills, my husband cleaned up real nice and I didnt even dress him.  lol   A few members of his family came along with us to the office and his sisters took pictures so I could send them home and even though I didnt have any of my family there, I still had the two most important people which was our little boy who was good during the ceremony  and Ray who is now my husband and come next month it will be our one year anniversary.
  After the wedding we went down to our local pub for some drinks and a meal before going away that weekend. I married my best friend that day so I couldnt be happier.

We did it both ways. The no fuss no frills part at a Registry wedding in the UK (our cake was from Tesco) - and it was fantastic. I got to wear a really cool suit, and I made my own invitations, had champagne & sandwiches back at the inlaws afterwards with photos - it was great. I LOVED the simplicity of it, and the lack of stress! Then 3 months later we had the Wedding Show in America - huge white tent, 8 bridesmaids, fireworks, the lot. I have a huge family in the States and it was a way to involve all of them, since not everyone could make it to the UK (but several did!).  PLus, having been married for real 3 months earlier took a lot of the stress out of the 2nd thing: when something went wrong (like the tornado that his 15 miles down the road!) we thought "Aw, who cares, we're already married!"

Simple is so less stressful.  However, I am finding that "the plans" are kinding of running away from me!    LOL (well, I'm trying to laugh anyway).  Last night Jamie and I went over to his mother's and, first of all (this was funny), she asked me if she had to wear a hat!  I am sure I had a quirky look on my face, and there was a pause as she waited for me to answer.  I said, "No, of course not!".  A hat, indeed!  Everyone can wear what they want (well, within reason).

The other thing is, since Jamie has invited all his siblings (he has 4), this includes their partners and children.  So, what I thought was going to be small isn't quite tiny anymore.  There will be close to 20 people there! 

There's not going to be anything fancy afterwards.  I think the kids will be bored out of their minds....but, oh well.

The nice thing is, my mother-in-law-to-be wants to buy dinner for everyone.

I guess I just feel a bit out of control of everything now.  But, hey, as long as I get married I will be happy.  I'll just go with the flow I guess.....dum dee dum dee doo....

It's funny how even the simplest intentions get out of hand so easily, isn't it? We'd originally intended just to have immediate family and best friends at the ceremony, but with spouses and children that immediately became an unmanageable number (and expensive to feed)! So now we're running away with just three of our best friends and staying away for a few days, then having a relatively casual party for everyone about a week later and a fancier party in California later in the year.....

Songmistress, the hat thing is an English tradition - you're supposed to wear a hat to wedding ceremonies. In fact I have to go hat shopping for one in the next couple of weeks - the only hats I've ever owned are the fuzzy winter kind! 

Well, I am all for her wearing a hat if she wants to wear one, but I didn't want her to think that it was required of her if she didn't want to wear one.  The whole thing is going to be very informal.

Jamie's brother informed him that he was going to cut his hair for the event.  I said, "NO!"  His brother has gorgeous hair.  I said, "If he wants to cut it for himself, that's one thing....BUT, if he just doing it because he thinks he should for the wedding (and the wedding pictures), he shouldn't do it."  So....me being a poet...and, inspired by these two events, wrote this    (hopefully others who are going for the "small and intimate" thing will relate and appreciate it):

Come-As-You-Are-Party

You don’t have to wear a hat.
And You, please don’t cut your hair!
There’s no need for all of that.
I just want you to be there.

Don’t get worried and all stressed
about the clothes you “should” wear.
I’m not bothered how you dress –
within reason – I don’t care.

It’s a come-as-you-are-party.
So, please, come as you are.
It won’t be big or fancy,
but more meaningful, by far…

just as special, just as grand.
Not an overdone affair.
And, I hope you understand,
I just want you to be there.

Witness when he takes my hand,
but don’t let there be a fuss
over what you may have planned.
After all, this day’s for us!!!

You’re cordially invited.
Won’t you share our special day?
We would be so delighted.
Just don’t get carried away.

It’s a come-as-you-are-party –
take heed to what I’ve said,
and we will all make merry
on the day that I am wed!

Autumn Dawn Eff
Copyright ©2004 Autumn Dawn Eff