British Drinking Etiquette Question

In psychology it's called crabbing, which derives it's term from observed crabs in a bucket in that, when one tries to climb out, others will inevitably grab it and pull it back down.  In human terms, it refers to pulling people into one's own bad habits or short comings in order to feel more justified.

I'm grateful that I don't hang out with your psychology friends.

In psychology it's called crabbing, which derives it's term from observed crabs in a bucket in that, when one tries to climb out, others will inevitably grab it and pull it back down.  In human terms, it refers to pulling people into one's own bad habits or short comings in order to feel more justified.

I think I prefer the term bullying. Crabbing just sounds itchy!

I'm grateful that I don't hang out with your psychology friends.

?? Psych was my first major choice, I took two years of it at Uni.

Out of curiosity, what level of drinking do you classify as 'binge' drinking?

I know the question was directed at Navie, but when I was studying abroad in the US, the campus newspaper did an article on binge drinking (the campus was dry, so they kept trying to encourage everyone to stop drinking) - according to the article 'binge drinking' was classed as having 4 drinks in one night, which I thought was pretty low considering that I had 3 drinks at dinner with my parents on Sunday night and was barely even tipsy!

It was interesting to see the differences in the approach to alcohol and drinking in the US uni paper, compared with my UK uni paper: the US uni was all about getting the students to stop drinking and the UK uni was all about getting the students to drink more !

I'm a similar age to Navie (I'm 26) and I definitely do the dinner and a drink thing rather than going out solely to drink. I also very rarely have more than one drink in a night, if I drink at all (I drink maybe a couple of units per week, but often go a few weeks without having any alcohol at all)... the last time I got drunk was back in January at a Cider Festival (it was kind of unavoidable there though as you had to finish an entire glass of one cider before you could try another).

In psychology it's called crabbing, which derives it's term from observed crabs in a bucket in that, when one tries to climb out, others will inevitably grab it and pull it back down.  In human terms, it refers to pulling people into one's own bad habits or short comings in order to feel more justified.

I have never been a big drinker and I have never in my life had people pressure me to drink.  How bizarre.  Maybe it's the company you keep(to quote my mother).

I think I prefer the term bullying. Crabbing just sounds itchy!

LOL!

according to the article 'binge drinking' was classed as having 4 drinks in one night, which I thought was pretty low considering that I had 3 drinks at dinner with my parents on Sunday night and was barely even tipsy!

That seems very low to me too! And, using your having-dinner-with-parents analogy, it's definitely low. If I went out for a meal with my father, for example, we'd probably have a drink before dinner, 1 or 2 glasses of wine with our meal, and perhaps an after dinner drink. Binge drinkers!!!  

But like you, I often go weeks, even months without having anything to drink at all. This week has been a bit different, being Christmas, but I normally don't drink much. And, like Mindy, I've never felt pressure from anyone to drink. But then I don't go to pubs, so perhaps it's just that I'm not around that atmosphere.

I have never been a big drinker and I have never in my life had people pressure me to drink.  How bizarre.  Maybe it's the company you keep(to quote my mother).

I drink a lot... I'm in the pub a minimum of 3 nights a week.  But I do it of my own accord, and no one has ever pressurised or bullied or 'crabbed' me into drinking.  It's my leisure activity of choice, and I enjoy it!  

 And, like Mindy, I've never felt pressure from anyone to drink. But then I don't go to pubs, so perhaps it's just that I'm not around that atmosphere.

But even when I was young I don't recall people trying to get me to drink more (less maybe, but not more ).

But even when I was young I don't recall people trying to get me to drink more (less maybe, but not more ).

Yeah, I wasn't in the UK in my teens or 20s, so I can't speak to that. But, as a proper grownup   nobody has ever pushed me to drink on the few occasions I have been to a pub. I think perhaps your mother was right.

Yeah, I wasn't in the UK in my teens or 20s, so I can't speak to that. But, as a proper grownup  nobody has ever pushed me to drink on the few occasions I have been to a pub.

I'm sure there are people who do this.  I work with a couple of idiots who think we all want to hear tales of their drunken adventures.  But my point I guess (mainly because I'm someone's mother) is that you're chosing who to spend your time with and if people are crabbing you and making you feel uncomfortable then you really need to find new friends or a different lifestyle because there are loads and loads of people who DON'T act like this.

But, in Sweetpeach's case, she just needs to make it known that she would rather have a soft drink.

That seems very low to me too!

Just did a quick internet search for their definition of binge drinking (as it's been 6 years since I read that original article) - I was slightly wrong: 'binge' drinking is 4 or more drinks in one session for a woman or 5 or more drinks for a man.

I used to work with a bunch of people who regularly went out every Friday, straight after work, to a pub and after that they went clubbing until the small hours. One of them was a rather demure married woman. Apparently once she had had a few drinks she got flirtatious with guys. I mean very flirtatious. She would grope men's privates, and on one occasion asked one of the colleagues, who was my friend, if he would like to go into the restroom for a, er, certain act to take place. When he said "No thanks", she got all huffy and said "Why not? What's wrong with me?" He diplomatically replied that she was very charming and of course under other circumstances he'd love to let her do this thing, but he was a married man and was quite keen to keep it that way. (He wasn't just being diplomatic: her cousin worked with his wife's sister). They kept saying "Why don't you come out with us on a Friday? We have such a lot of fun!" and couldn't understand why I wouldn't. (Mrs Demure-when-sober is now divorced).

Just did a quick internet search for their definition of binge drinking (as it's been 6 years since I read that original article) - I was slightly wrong: 'binge' drinking is 4 or more drinks in one session for a woman or 5 or more drinks for a man.

Hmmm.  The last time I had more than 4 drinks in one session I was with chary, genau!, and AnneR.  And I got very drunk.  Maybe they crabbed me without me realizing it.

Must be an age thing because I go out for meals and a drink all the time.  I never just go out drinking.

Well, all of DH's mates in their 30's and 40's just go out drinking (men and women). But, there is only one restaurant in town (brand new), which is a romantic sort of place and then 14 pubs, none of which serve food. So, I guess our village isn't really made for a group dinner and drinks kind of thing. I really envy you, though. I wish I could get together with some of the girls around here to do something besides get completely pissed, but it never seems to be an option. I have a feeling if I tried to get a group together to see a movie or something they would look at me like I was an alien. (Which I am, I guess... lol.) I imagine it would be different if I lived in the city and there were more local options for things to do besides just hitting the pub. Unfortunately, out here, there isn't really anything else to do, so everyone just goes out on the drink (even my MIL and FIL go on a pub crawl every Sat night and they are in their seventies! )

But as far as other people buying drinks goes, I've never had this happen to me here. Only two of my SIL's have bought me drinks, and they have always asked what I wanted to have before going to the bar. I think DH's mates are too cheap to buy anyone else a drink!   I was surprised on my birthday, though, that one or two of his friends bought me a pint and just sat it in front of me without my asking, but it certainly didn't seem like a bad thing at the time!  I could see how it would get old if it happened all the time, but I would just pass it over to my hubs and let him or one of his friends drink it if I didn't want it.