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Topic: Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name  (Read 8171 times)

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Re: Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name
« Reply #30 on: August 17, 2004, 08:36:18 PM »
I've been married two years and have never been remotely interested in taking my husband's last name.  I don't see any point.  We are two separate people with individual identities, and I don't see why I should give up my last name.  I'm not a very traditional person, however.

Plus, my last name sounds so much nicer than his.   :P
I am following my fishie la la laa because my fishie knows where to go!


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Re: Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name
« Reply #31 on: August 17, 2004, 09:23:39 PM »
I'm finding this all very interesting.  Obviously it is up to the individual, but just playing devil's advocate for a second - I'm not being critical of you Lindsay or anyone else - but why do people feel that having the same name as their husband leads to a loss of identity or individualism any more than having their father's name? (assuming it is their father's surname they started out with!). I can honestly say I do not feel any such loss, one year on from taking my husband's name. 


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Re: Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name
« Reply #32 on: August 17, 2004, 09:38:20 PM »
I agree with you to a point Liz... I don't think taking someone else's name necessarily equates a loss of independence. It seems there are so many factors here in the decision making process. I personally find either extreme a bit much which is why I am trying to find a 'middle path' - so to speak. I love my DF heart body and soul, but I don't think taking his name is necessary to show that. I have slightly different reasons to want to keep my name, as I've posted. And the DF and I had a bit of a disagreement over it. He thought it was because I was being overly feminist... but once he understood why I'm so 'attached' to it, he understood. Though I think secretly he's hoping that in a few years I'll just give it up!  :)
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. ~ John Lennon


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Re: Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name
« Reply #33 on: August 17, 2004, 11:22:00 PM »
I don't actually consider myself a feminist, and perhaps you took what I said to be a concern with patriarchy, and if so you have assumed incorrectly.  Even if I was marrying a woman I would not take her name, and so your point about my name coming from my father is irrelevant.  It's simply the name I've had my entire life and I don't see any reason to change it just because I've decided to spend my life with someone.
I am following my fishie la la laa because my fishie knows where to go!


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Re: Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name
« Reply #34 on: August 18, 2004, 10:18:02 AM »
Hi Lindsay,

As I said my comments were not intended as a criticism and I wasn't making any assumptions, I was merely asking out of curiosity, I wasn't asking just you but others as well as I have heard similar comments from other people at various times. Different strokes and all that, but no harm trying to understand other points of view. It took me a long time to decide whether to take my husband's name or not and I did worry that it might make me feel I had somehow lost part of my identity etc but in the end it hasn't made me feel that way at all and now that we are having a baby I am glad we all have the same name and can be easily identified as one family.  But that is my personal choice, just as your decision is your personal choice.


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