to baby or not to baby that is the question

hello all...
just looking for a lil friendly chat on the pros and cons of starting a second family... especially at the age of 42...
My sweetie has never been married and has no children (btw he is only 30) where as I was married for 20 years and have three just about grown girls ( my two youngest decided to live with their dad, oldest lives on own) anyway... i was wondering if there are any other mature ladies out there who are considering having a baby...or have already started the process... lol...   what a way to put it...
Now Jimmy and I have discussed having a child and at this point we don't do anything to stop it from happening... we kinda figure if it happens it's cause it is meant to happen... Jim says he'd like a kid and i'm not exactly against it... in fact at times i hope we do get pregnant but then other times im like omg i'll be 60 when he/she graduates from school and thats if one got started now... and I miss my other kids so much part of me wonders if i'm just lonely and miss being a mom and somehow my subconscience is trying to replace them... and then i think about a baby with Jimmy... and i kinda melt ... proof and product of the love we have for each other... and the thought of walking around with a part of him inside me for nine months and then being able to love and nurture that part of him... well then thats when i really want to get pregnant... so  [smiley=huh2.gif]am I crazy   any thoughts on this subject will be greatly appreciated... 

                                                                          Thanks,  Jo

My husband and I started a second family, and at the time I was 34, nearing 35.  I also have a 16 year old son from a previous relationship.

Baby wasn't planned, but he has been an absolute joy.  With my first son, he went into day care so that I could work and I missed a huge chunk of his life.  With my second son, I am a stay-at-home mum and marvel each day at the things I missed the first go around.  I find I am more patient now and better equipped to handle motherhood than I was at 20.

Pregnancy later in life was certainly not as easy as it was in my early 20's.  Recovery time took longer and left a few side effects which were not so nice.  There was also the thought that I was just about finished with child rearing -- gone were the bottles, diapers and 2am feedings.  In less than two years, my first son would be an adult, with the hardest part of motherhood done and over.  In a way, I was looking forward to it being just me and my husband -- able to do whatever we wanted to do.

I don't think you are crazy for wanting to start another family.  So long as it is something you both want, go for it.

My husband and I started a second family, and at the time I was 34, nearing 35.  I also have a 16 year old son from a previous relationship.

Baby wasn't planned, but he has been an absolute joy.  With my first son, he went into day care so that I could work and I missed a huge chunk of his life.  With my second son, I am a stay-at-home mum and marvel each day at the things I missed the first go around.  I find I am more patient now and better equipped to handle motherhood than I was at 20.

Pregnancy later in life was certainly not as easy as it was in my early 20's.  Recovery time took longer and left a few side effects which were not so nice.  There was also the thought that I was just about finished with child rearing -- gone were the bottles, diapers and 2am feedings.  In less than two years, my first son would be an adult, with the hardest part of motherhood done and over.  In a way, I was looking forward to it being just me and my husband -- able to do whatever we wanted to do.

I don't think you are crazy for wanting to start another family.  So long as it is something you both want, go for it.

and you know it don't help seeing all the cute lil babies attached to everyone's post... only makes you want one more...  and just had to say how cute I think Caitlinn's lil one is... everytime i see his face i say awww what a sweetheart!!!!

and you know it don't help seeing all the cute lil babies attached to everyone's post... only makes you want one more... 

My goodness, you're not kidding!  Guess who bought a big ol' bottle of folic acid tablets yesterday?!?!   

Aww, thanks nrvwas!  Yes, he can be a real sweetie pie at times.  And then there's days like today ...

The little monster took daddy's office chair and ran it over my foot, tearing back my big toe nail half way down. OUCH!!

My goodness, you're not kidding!  Guess who bought a big ol' bottle of folic acid tablets yesterday?!?!   

only thing that scares me is that my sister says oh btw Jo did you know the chances of having twins rises significantly when your over 40 !!!!!  and  jimmy was supposed to have been a twin!!! (but i don't want to get into that bit)

I made the choice several years ago to have a tubal ligation.  This was before I met and married my husband.  My general feeling was that I have 3 daughters and there were 2 different fathers involved.  There was already a pretty big gap between my oldest and my youngest (9 years).  I felt having more children would make a complex situation even more complex not to mention even more financially and emotionally draining. 

So Frank knew the score when we hooked up and while sometimes I wish he and I could have a child together, I don't regret making the choice I did when I did.  A baby with my new husband would be fabulous but the reality is that I have had 3 good pregnancies and 3 beautiful daughters and that's plenty.  If through some act of Divine Humour we end up with a child, then great, otherwise, we won't be looking into adoption or IVF anytime soon. 

Best of luck whatever you do decide!