Second time apart, & it's even harder now that there's a baby involved

The first time my husband had to return to the UK it hurt like mad, but this second time has been tougher. We now have a son who recently had his first birthday, and my husband missed it, along with his first steps, and many other firsts.

My husband cries every night because he misses his only son (and me). Sometimes he watches him on webcam, or talks to him on the phone, but I think that makes him even sadder. His biggest fear is that the baby won't recognize him and reject him, as he would a stranger. I have tried to reassure him that that won't happen. I show the baby photos of his dad every day, and let him hear his voice. It doesn't make my husband feel any better.

It's been more than 4 months already, and we'll probably have a couple of more to go since I haven't had my biometrics taken yet, and after my Visa is approved (I hope!!!) I have to apply for the baby's British passport.

We have our 'OK' days, but we're having more & more of those bad ones...

Awww I am so sorry you've having such a tough time - and i can't even imagine how difficult it is to be apart from your husband and for him to be apart from you and your baby

The great thing is that you guys have now your future to focus - I know when the days seem long and the nights are impossible - the only thing that makes a difference is that countdown to that "next time" - and next time you will be together is soon - you've taken all the steps into the direction of being together - i know there are some good days, some bad days, and some days that are almost impossible to overcome - just try to stay positive, concentrate on all good days - remind your husband of the fact that you will be together as a happy and loving family very soon and there is so much to look forward to. The baby will always be his son and you reassuring him is very helpful - for all parents its extremely difficult to leave a baby and to wait on the other side of the world. But just know that better days will come and soon you will be telling you son your love story and how amazing it all turned out Chin up!

This forum is amazing and has wonderful people who have been thru similar situations and have given me very helpful advice - keep on writing (for me its been very therapeutic to write and read the stories here) - it does help and its good to let it out to all of us who completely sympathize and know how hard it is to be away from our loved ones!

Sorry about the wait it does suck. I have a friend who uses a webcam to chat with her niece in the US and she recognizes her both on the camera and in person, so keep that up and I'm sure he'll be fine when he sees your husband.

I just wanted to add that I think you can apply for the baby's passport now, while you're waiting for your biometrics appointment. You don't have to wait until you get your visa. I know Marlespo has applied for her kids' passports and she's waiting to get them back before she can apply for her visa.

Thank you, ladies. This forum has been very helpful. It has answered many questions & cleared many doubts. I've already encountered some lovely people

Bmore, the reason I can't apply for the baby's passport yet is because I need my marriage certificate for both my Visa & his passport, & only the original is accepted =/

Bmore, the reason I can't apply for the baby's passport yet is because I need my marriage certificate for both my Visa & his passport, & only the original is accepted =/

Actually you can only send the Certified Copy for your visa. You can always get another Certified copy at the County Clerks office where you were married.

Actually you can only send the Certified Copy for your visa. You can always get another Certified copy at the County Clerks office where you were married.

When I talked to them at the British Consulate they said that all documents should be the originals. I'll look into this, thank you, Weby.

When I talked to them at the British Consulate they said that all documents should the originals. I'll look into this, thank you, Weby.

If you mean original as the hand written copy of what you were given when you were married this is not an official document. Only the document from your County Clerks office printed on their paper and with the raised seal, is the official document.

When I was married in CA in 2008 I had to wait until the marriage was recorded and then go into the Records office at the Court House to get the official copies. I got 3 of them at the same time to do all my name changes so I wouldn't have to wait or worry in case one of them was kept by one of the agencies.

So a certified copy of your Marriage Certificate from your County Records/Clerks office is the 'original document'.

I'm so glad this was brought up. Ok, what I have now is the marriage certificate hand-written & signed by the judge who married us. I didn't have a problem using that for my new Social Security Card, but I'm guessing it won't be accepted for my Visa?

Guess who's going to the County Clerks office Monday morning...

I'm so glad this was brought up. Ok, what I have now is the marriage certificate hand-written & signed by the judge who married us. I didn't have a problem using that for my new Social Security Card, but I'm guessing it won't be accepted for my Visa?

Nope. That's your commemorative copy and not the official one and will not be accepted for your visa application.

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you Marie. I know everything is going to be fine and we will both be celebrating next week

Best of luck and it won't be long now.  Just keep hanging on to that.  I can't imagine how tough it would be with a baby that age, but it will come soon.

I agree with the others, go get copies of your marriage certificate.  One of the smartest things I've done is got around three certified copies from the county where we were married.  They didn't cost tons, and I used them all the time at first since my last passport was still in my maiden name.  That way I didn't need to panic if I lost one either.  It has saved me tons of trouble.  I'd get a couple official copies and send off for the passport now rather than waiting.  I think that can take longer than the visa, especially if you use an expediter for the visa.

It won't be long.  Keep coming here; we all get how hard that separation can be.  When you get here, we'll have to grab lunch or something since we'll be living so close (if you want to).   I actually thought of you last night as I drove by your village (it's only about five minutes from my village).  There aren't too many of us American gals in this neck of the woods, so I think it's funny how close you'll be.

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you Marie. I know everything is going to be fine and we will both be celebrating next week

Thank you, Jenn! I've been thinking of you, too. Did you get the papers today? I still haven't gotten mine =/

Best of luck and it won't be long now.  Just keep hanging on to that.  I can't imagine how tough it would be with a baby that age, but it will come soon.

I agree with the others, go get copies of your marriage certificate.  One of the smartest things I've done is got around three certified copies from the county where we were married.  They didn't cost tons, and I used them all the time at first since my last passport was still in my maiden name.  That way I didn't need to panic if I lost one either.  It has saved me tons of trouble.  I'd get a couple official copies and send off for the passport now rather than waiting.  I think that can take longer than the visa, especially if you use an expediter for the visa.

It won't be long.  Keep coming here; we all get how hard that separation can be.  When you get here, we'll have to grab lunch or something since we'll be living so close (if you want to).   I actually thought of you last night as I drove by your village (it's only about five minutes from my village).  There aren't too many of us American gals in this neck of the woods, so I think it's funny how close you'll be.

You're on Cadenza. We'll definitely do something when I'm finally there. I'm very glad you'll be that close

I went today and got 2 certified copies of our marriage certificate. It took about 5 minutes and were $5 each. What's gonna take a little longer is the birth records for the baby to prove he's mine  They said I should have them by the end of the week. What I'm wondering now is if I need to send in the birth records AND his short birth certificate (which isn't good enough in the first place). I was hoping to be able to send that in for my Visa and take care of both things at once...

Still havent gotten it. I am officially freaking out tonight

Nope. That's your commemorative copy and not the official one and will not be accepted for your visa application.

I sent this one in and they accepted it. 

I sent this one in and they accepted it. 

Very Lucky...or ECO in a good mood that day